Liz and I became closer as her graduation neared. She became sentimental and nostalgic about every thing. Liz was living in the past. She talked as if she was not concerned about her future. When I would bring up plans for after graduation, she would say she has no plans. "I just want to me a writer, if that doesn't work out I guess I'll work wherever for whatever." This didn't sound like the Liz who only two years ago told me how she planned to own marketing firm by the age of twenty-five.

The week before her graduation Liz and I slept together for the first time in over a month. When we made love it was beautiful and I had felt closer to her then ever. Liz frustrated me after making love my saying our relationship still is causal. I told her of my plans to spend the summer in Alaska with Dan. She only replied that it sounded fun and she hoped I had a good time. Her mind was definitely preoccupied with something but what?

Liz called me the night before her graduation, she had taken some tranquilizers and her voice was slurred. "Why are you taking drugs, I asked her?"
"Big day tomorrow, she said, I just wanted to calm down a little."
You've had big days before but I never remember you taking any tranquilizers."
"Well I am a college graduate now and I do things differently." "Look lets not fight come on over I want to talk to you," she said.
I knew better then to accept this offer but it was Liz and she might be in trouble so I want.

Liz was all smiles as she opened the door. "Tim, dear, old faithful, Tim she said, as she gestured me in."
"Hi Liz, look you been asking different the lasts weeks and I want to know...
"Enough of the small talk, take me right now on the living room floor," Liz said
. "I don't think that's..."
" Think, oh please stop thinking she said, as she pulled her sweater off and started to undo my belt."
I knew this was definitely not the right time but when I saw her succulent, young, firm, breast appear from beneath her sweater, I knew I could not say no. We had fantastic sex for about an hour on the living room floor. We were not making love; this was much more raw and primitive. Liz and I had simultaneous orgasms that caused us both to tremble. As I held her I realized she was now beginning to cry.
"What's wrong? "Wasn't everything all right," I asked.
"Oh, that was fine, she said."
Fine, she certainly had a way of bringing me back to earth.

"It's this damn graduation thing. I am supposed to attend tomorrow. I want to find a way out of it."
"Are you crazy, I said you waited your entire life to graduate college."
"Oh, please, Liz said you sound like my mother."
"O.K., Liz just tell me what this is all about."
Liz looked at me with her fawn like eyes and said, "everything is just so painful."
Liz explained that she had invited her mother as a polite gesture and assumed she would not attend. Now, not only did her mother want to attend but also her stepfather Liz could not stand her stepfather, Hal. Even though her real father had left when she was only six she never considered Hal her father. Liz had always treated as a person she did not like, who had happen to marry her mother. Liz failure to love her stepfather often caused bitter exchanges between Liz's mother and Hal. It was Hal's idea to send Liz to a boarding school. Only after many of months of pleading by Beth, Liz's mother, did Hal agree to let her stay. Which is a good thing otherwise Liz and I would never had met.

I knew that Liz was not fond of her stepfather. What I did not know is why she disliked him, but I was about to find out. Liz explained to me how Hal had molested her as a child and raped her when she was a teenager. She told me I was the first to hear this, and she wanted it to stay private. My first reaction was extreme anger I wanted to kill Hal. Liz told me to relax it was a long time ago and hurting him now would not help. I pretended to calm down and listen to Liz but I made a note to myself that someday, somehow I would make Hal pay. Liz said when she was only around six it started but at the time she thought it was just a game. Hal would tell her it was their own special secret and to never tell anyone and until today she never had.

Hal had started by just touching Liz but through the years it progressed. She told me she began to hate spending time alone with him because he always wanted to touch her. By eight years old Liz's step-dad was penetrating her vagina with his finger and other objects. When Liz was twelve she was forced to perform oral sex on her stepfather. She was told she had to swallow every drop of his semen or she could not see any of her friends. Hal would threaten her pet dog Scruffy; he told her if she did not cooperate kill her dog in front of her. When Liz was thirteen he penetrated her with his penis. Since she was still a virgin she bled and screamed in pain. This only seem to excite Hal more, he would pound harder and faster laughing as his stepdaughter cried.

"I asked Liz how it finally stopped."
"I started to run away from home, Liz said. when I did stay I would do everything to avoid him."
"One time when mother had gone to visit her sick sister I confronted him. When mother was gone he raped me again. This time vaginal and anal rape. Hal rolled off of me and was a sleep with in fifteen minutes. He awoke to see me with his pistol to his head and a cutting knife down by his penis. I looked him straight in the eyes and said you ever stick that thing in me again and I'll cut it off. I nipped his penis slightly with the knife to let him know I was serious. This sent him running out of the room screaming and holding his pecker for dear life. If I had not been so scared I probably would have laughed. Since that time he never laid a finger on me again.
"What about your sister, I asked?
Liz had a half sister by Hal and Beth, named Cindy. She was only five and still living with Hal. I pry nothing is happening to her but I can't be sure."
" Wasn't your mother ever aware that any of this was going on?
"I suspect she was, but she just looked the other way."
"That's terrible, I said."
"Yeah it is, but that's the way life sometimes goes. Just one of those little family secrets."
Unfortunately, I was very much aware of family secrets but her family made mine look like "The Brady's."

"So Hal and Beth, are both planning to attend you graduation."
"Yes, but I don't want either there," Liz said.
"Give me their phone number I'll take care of it."
"Tim, you got to promise me none of this will come out, I don't want my mom to hate me."
Liz reluctantly gave me the number and want to her bedroom to crash. I wasn't sure how I was going to handle the call but it had to be done. Even though it was 1:30 a.m. I dialed the number luckily Hal answered. I told him who I was we had never, but he knew of me from Liz.
"What the hell you calling at this time of night for boy..."
"Shut up and listen I said, you will not be attending Liz's graduation tomorrow is that understood.
"Who the fuck you think your talking to......"
"Also, I continued, as if he had never spoken, you will never again interfere with Liz's life."
"Look Hal said, he was beginning to sound scared, I'm sure something can be worked out."
"You will tell Liz's mother that you are sick and therefor can not attend."
"Is it understood that Liz's mother should not be upset because she is missing her daughters graduation."
With my voice I had tried to make it clear that I knew everything, I think Hal was getting the message.
"What that whore tell you?" "I'll be more then happy to leave Liz alone, but you have to promise to stay out of my affairs."
"For the time being I will leave you alone but if I hear there is a problem with Cindy. I'll kill you."
Hal hung up. I was sure I meant ever word of what I said. I hoped he was.

I crawled into bed next to Liz; she woke and asked if it was taken care of.
Yea, it's all taken care of, I said. Liz if you didn't want them at your graduation why didn't you just pick up your degree and not graduate on stage."
"I thought you wanted to see me graduate she said and then began to cry."
I felt bad about ever bringing up the question. I spent the night at Liz's and helped her dress for graduation in the morning The only time I left was to go home dress and shower.

I sat with a few of Liz's friends at the graduation. I'd never been fond of them. Liz's friends were mostly sorority girls. They seem to be more interested in gossiping about each other boyfriends then anything else in life. They were always whispering and giggling. I was an outcast in this group and that was just fine with me. Liz was unlike her friends and I wondered how they had become friends in the first place. Liz had a strong desire to be popular and this seem to be a factor in her selection of friends These were some of the most popular girls on campus and I found nothing interesting about any of them.

Liz looked very beautiful, sad and nervous. Her blue eyes sparkled in the sun and she gave a shy smile as she accepted her degree. She had graduated with honors in a very challenging major but her immediate concern was to make a hasty retreat. Liz barely even said hello to her friends, a snub I am sure they would discuss in great lengths.
"Are you O.K. I asked?"
"Yeah, this all seems like such bullshit, let's get out of here."

I took Liz to a nice dinner at one of the better restaurants in town. She seemed more at ease. I purposely did not bring up graduation or the future. We discussed how we first met and how we were in love from the start. Even though we had attended the same high school this is not where we met.

We met in a long line to buy tickets for the 12a.m. showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Liz and I were both with dates but we were attracted to each other instantly I kept trying to turn around inconspicuously to gaze at Liz. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen and I decided that somehow I must meet her. Liz was aware of my lingering eyes and one point gave me a smile and a little wave. She was interested in me and I was thrilled.

I paid close attention to where Liz and her date were seated in the theater. The girl I was dating that evening was Peggy Price, but I was only interested in Liz. I sat back and watched the movie for awhile trying to think of a way to met Liz. I had no idea that she attended the same school so in my mind if we did not communicate tonight, I would never see Liz, again.

Since the situation seemed bleak it called for desperate messages. Rocky Horror is an audience participation film. Through out the film the audience interacts with the picture. Most audience members bring along their own supplies to do this. For instance when it first rains audience members pick-up their squirt guns and spry one another. This is all just good nature fun but I had another plan.

During the rain segment I concentrated my squirt gun spraying to the face of Liz's date. When everyone else in the audience would quit I would continue to squirt for a few minutes. In the weeding segment when the audience threw toast, randomly. I threw exclusively at the face of Liz's date. Liz's date, Nick, soon became aware of me and looked as if he might soon approach. I heard Liz quietly laughing at my actions. During the Time Wrap song the audience climbed the stage to dance. I noticed Nick was not interested in participating so Liz was going towards the stage by herself, here was my change. I asked Peggy if she wanted to dance on stage and to my joy she said no thanks.

I climbed the stage and situated my self beside Liz. During the song you are suppose to hook your arms to the person next to you. As I hooked my arm around Liz's waist I whispered in her ear.
"My name is Tim Hudson, I find you very attractive and would love to go out with you sometime." I apologize for being so blunt but explained that I felt this might be my only opportunity
. Liz giggled and asked me if I could remember her number.
I said, "I would remember it always." Just when she was about to give me her number, Nick came up to me.
"What is with you he asked, first you harass me all night and now you're up here whispering to my girlfriend."
Before I had a change to make up some excuse, Nick pushed me into two other people, and we all landed on the floor. People began to tackle Nick and a variety of shoving matches started on the stage. As this was going on Liz came over to me and shoved a note in my coat pocket and ran away.

The management turned off the film and sent everyone home. I found Peggy and left the theater. As we were crammed in with the crowd exiting the theater, I took the note out of my pocket it said; My name is Elizabeth and I went to go out with you too (555-9163). I was in heaven.

After the dinner we went to my apartment and talked to the wee hours of the morning. Since I was spending the summer in Alaska, I wanted Liz to make a commitment to our relationship. Somehow, in my attempts to win her back I ask her to marry me. This was not planned but it felt right after it was said. Liz began crying and fell into my arms. She said nothing for a very long time. During the wait I thought of how much she meant to me and was prying she would say, yes. Liz slowly rose her head and said "I love you but I can't". I was crushed.

Liz went on to explain that her life was to out of control right now. She hoped one day I would ask again when she was more adjusted and could accept. I asked if I could help with anything. Liz said, "she felt like she was losing her mind and was considering going to counseling. I have done some horrible things in my life. Some I will never be able to discuss, she said. Now I have to pay for these sins so one day I might be able to live again." I was not sure what this meant and it was obvious she had no plans to discuss it further. One thing I was sure of counseling sounding like a good idea.

The drive to Virginia Beach was long and hot. The air conditioner had broken in my car and the temperature was in the mid- nineties. I had taken some tranquilizers to ease the stress of the event but with the heat, the drugs were making my head swim. I was hoping the reunion would not be as awkward as I was afraid it would. My parents and sister had separate hotel rooms and had arrived in Virginia Beach the previous day. Marty and I were sharing a room and were to arrive today. I was suppose to be there by 1:00p.m. but was way behind schedule. The tranquilizers were giving me a bad case of cottonmouth so I stop at a local He Haw joint to buy some beer. When I entered the bar everyone turned and stared at me like I was an alien from another planet. This was redneck good old boys territory and strangers were not a welcome sight. The bartender, a big burly guy in overalls, who looked like he probably, spent the best part of the previous evening poking Bessy in the field, finally came to serve me. I wasn't looking to get drunk so I only bought a six.

There was a good hour left before I got there so there was plenty of time to finish the beer. After driving another half-hour, I was down to only two beers left. I debated stopping to buy more but decided against it. The tranquilizers and the beer had already given me a nice "buzz"; I didn't want to be ripped when I arrived.

I entered Virginia City around 2:30p.m. and spent another twenty minutes trying to find the hotel. Finally, locating the hotel, I got my key from the front desk and proceeded to my room. Marty was already there with drink in hand and a large grin across his face.
"Little Bro, long time" Marty said.
Seeing Marty again lifted my spirits immediately. Some of the best times of my life had been spent with Marty.
"Hey Marty you wouldn't happen to have an extra one of those beers would you"
"Yea, sure I figured you would be to cheap to buy any so I bought extra."
I was sure Marty did not mind me drinking his beer. He loved beer and was always happy to share. Marty may have a drinking problem but he was always up beat sober or drinking. When I opened the refrigerator the amount of beer Marty had surprised me. There was a half keg in the fridge and it was only the two of us, for two days.

"So, where is the rest of the family," I asked.
"Out on the beach, Marty said.
Dad said he wasn't going to wait for you all day and told everyone it was time to go down to the beach. I told him I was going to wait for you in our room. Dad gave me a look like he couldn't believe my insolent, but then I think it dawned on him that he could no longer control my actions. Dad wanted to explain what part of the beach they might be on, but I told him it would be impossible to find them with the large crowds. We are suppose to meet them tonight and go out for dinner but for right now we can lean back discuss old times and drink some beer."(Continued on Delta VII) 1