I can’t even find a match
To burn this fucking place down
Everything I own
is in this tiny, pathetic little room
None of it wants to be here
and it all deserves better
I think the drugs and booze
have taken their toll
I’m not even me anymore
I’ve lost control
Time to rip this insane mask from my face
pull the cobwebs from my soul
I need to leave this place I need more
I jump from my bed
Immediately, my feet are injected
with shreds of glass fragments
from dozens of broken beer bottles
littered across the floor
The pain awakes me
comforts me
I run naked, madly around the room
I climb out on the fire escape
to look at the world
I dangle upsidedown by my feet
from the railing of the fire escape
I scream about forgotten soldiers
Fighting non-existing wars
Blood pours down on my face from my feet
that now resemble raw, shredded meat
bleeding profusely
I laugh hysterically
I’m alive
Alive again
Many people see me
Some scream obscenities
some laugh
Most just stare with their worn out faces
and dull vacant expressions
No life left there
Who cares?
“You’re all doomed, I scream”
Tonight I think I’ll go out
I need to get crazy...cut loose
I deserve it
