The Haggler
by John Steele
The Devil sat on my shoulder
And offered me all Bentilee
From Willfield, right down to Twigg Street
Fenton fields, transmitter and treeCourse! He wanted somethin' for 'em
As anyone would, wouldn't you?
But he said my soul would do nicely
(Plus a 10p deposit in lieu)But I knew I could get more if I bargained
Cause me father had sired no fool
So I demanded free beer in the pubs
(Plus the girls of Berry Hill School)Well, he relented at once to my hagglin'
And said in his serpenty drawl
"You can have all the women you want to
"And hold orgies in Harold Clowes Hall.""You can even make St. Paul's a casino
"And gamble, for money, till dawn
"Then settle down with a beer and the telly
"And watch videos of violence and porn."Well, I can't say I wasn't a bit tempted
But I fought it with all of me might
Well, till he said I dine out at SIZZLERS
Ev'ry lunchtime, teatime, and night.Then me will-power just turned into jelly
And I felt myself falling to Hell
So I shouted, "OK, you can have me!
"If you just chuck in breakfast as well."
Copyright John Steele, 1990, 1999
The above poem was instrumental in the birth of "The Bentilean" community magazine as I was banned from including it in another magazine, "Bentilee Voices", when I was guest editor because they objected to the last line of verse three, so gave me the idea of starting my own mag (that and the abject boredom of not being a Bentilee Volunteer, when I left them). It also helped me publicise "The Bentilean" as I was asked to read it out when I went on BBC Radio Stoke's Barbara Gandy Show to publicise the mag's launch.Back to: The Contents Page | The Archive | The Bentilean Main Page
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