A HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM
Mortimer & Mears
Sarah: Good reading, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to this card.
Dick: Card? Card?!! You mean we aren't in The Bentilean magazine?
Ed: No, you're in an insert to wish one-time Bent' Philosopher, Kevin Strider, a Happy Birthday.
Dick: An insert?!!! But I'm nearly a Star -- I won't do it!
Ed: The next scene's down the pub.
Dick: You mean.....?
Sarah: The Man O Horses Cottage...
Dick: ....pub meals served twice daily.
Once on Sundays!
Both: We're sorry to hear that!! (Dick to Sarah: One of the author's best jokes that. wonder where he nicked it from.)
Dick: But now we're here what do we do now?
Ed: You join Molly the designer woman, the author, Gladys your fan, Samson Fox, and one or two others over there and await the arrival of Kevin.
Sarah: Aren't your stopping?
Ed: Certainly not! Last time I entered a pub I had to buy my own drink. I'm off home to watch the TV.
Sarah: He means that bloke in tights and a cape, really.
Dick: He's not called The Bent' Ed' for nothing!
Ah, hello there! You
know Gladys your fan, of
course, and the others....?Dick: Gladys! How could I forget and you (turning to Samson Fox) must be the two others the Ed mentioned.
Samson: You haven't changed then since you plumbed my depths back in the Mini-mag.
Dick: Neither have you. Still even in the same font, but pray, why the costume you're almost wearing? Nice though it is, accentuating the full curves of your figure, your round firm breasts with their proud pert nipples outlined beneath the cloth, and your almost unnaturally long smooth legs not at all obscured by its skirt.
Samson: I'm going to be the kissogram.
Dick: Do you need to warm up?
Sarah: This is all very well, we're here, the kissogram's here, but what kind of birthday celebration doesn't include a cake and lots of food?
You mean like this 12
pice strawberry gateau,
and myriad of sausage
rolls, pork pies, salmon
sandwiches, snacks and
wine I've just described
into existence?Dick: Wow!! A pub, a kissogram, and a mountain of food...and currently all to ourselves....
Kevin: Hi Froods! Are you all the characters from "The Bentilean" come to help me celebrate?
Everyone: No! Clear off! It's all ours!
Copyright John Steele 1999
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