Listen In On the Calls....
Update on Call from SuperStud.
Older calls on this Page.
Newer Calls on the Phone Tap.
The Rev (Calling4 a "Friend") told Dix:
hey this is pretty cool. Why don't you just charge everybody fifty cents or so... then you can open a booth like Lucy... I wonder how long I can just go on typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing... that got boring... no I am not obsessive compulsive
Well, Rev, thank you for your kind words. I especially appreciated your appraisal of the worth of my work. I'll be sure to refer back to it when I am establishing pricing for my WWW CrisisLine Services Booth.
Do you have any suggestions on where I should construct my booth? Perhaps my boss would let me set one up at the Hotel Detox. I think in particular, the staff could use this sort of service...I'll bet I could clean up!
As to the limits of your typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing, well, Dix has one thing to say. Under most circumstances, Dix would not praise you for your somewhat brief attention span. However, under the circumstances, Dix has no alternative but to acknowledged your quick-onset boredom was a good thing.
As far as any potential psychiatric diagnoses for you Rev, Dix will not quibble. Now stop checking the stove. It's off. Really.
(Take me to the top, Dix.)
DO told Dix:
Help!! I really *$%#@! up this time!!!
I am trapped on board this spaceship with a bunch of Pat Bucannon worshipers. I thought I was going to the next level beyond human and wound up in the lowest level of hell. What to you recommend?
Well, Do, that's a very...interesting...story. I guess the moral of this story is the next level "beyond" human doesn't necessarily mean above human, huh?
As far as advice goes, I'm a little stumped. Normally, I'd say to skip around and hum "Boy George" tunes for a few days, and that should put off any Pat Buchannan worshippers for good. But these aren't ordinary Buchannanites. These are androgynous Buchannnites. Sort of like gay Republicans: breathing Oxymorons. Bear in mind that their composure, considering the obvious internal conflict, must be in a very delicate balance. It shouldn't take too much to frighten them enough to leave you alone.
Try suggesting that Buchannan needs to be castrated. Any closet Democrats will come out of hiding at this point to support you, and you may join forces. Alternatively, you could consider suggesting that welfare is a *good* thing. Just keep trying until you hit something.
It that doesn't work, maybe you should check out the next level.
(Take me to the top, Dix.)
THE PERVERT told Dix:
I FEEL AS IF I'M A LESBIAN TRAPPED IN A MAN'S BODY IS THIS A COMMON OCCURRENCE, OH CRISIS QUEEN?
PLEASE HELP ME REALIZE MY TRUE CALLING AS I FEEL I'M A GENDER-FREAK RIGHT NOW.
Mmmmmhmmmm. That’s a very interesting self-assessment, Pervert. Although I would say it’s fairly common for an individual to feel as if they were born the wrong gender, as in transexualism, it’s much less common for someone to present as a "lesbian in a man’s body."
Dix is wondering if this conclusion has anything to do with scenes Pervert has seen in adult videos? Most such scenes, at least to the best of Dix’s knowledge base, seem to be more closely related to male fantasies than the realities of lesbianism, as the extensive usage of sex toys related to male anatomy and the enthusiastic introduction of male bystanders into said scenes will attest.
Rather than pricing sex changes which, unfortunately, do not come with money-back guarantees, Dix would suggest that you seek out other, more reversible ways to express this drive. You may choose to be/remain involved with partners who are closely in touch with their own continuum of gender, as in bi-sexual. Or you may try your hand at writing scripts for adult movies. If that doesn't’t work for you, then perhaps you can price cheerleading outfits at GoodWill...
(Take me to the top, Dix.)
super stud said to Dix:
"My wife never lets me use the phone...she is always on the internet...help me please!!!"Well, SS, you have an interesting problem, if you choose to define it as such. It sounds as if your wife is a woman of intelligence and curiosity, who is exploring her various interests via the net. Not everyone would pity you, having a wife who is in all likelihood bright and interesting, and who could not easily criticize your own time on-line…
Perhaps you could try communicating more concretely your desires. For example, rather than pacing around the room or stoically watching television, you may want to say something like, "I’d like to make a call before 9 p.m., Honey. Let me know when the line is free."In absence of that, perhaps you could arrange for her to have her very own high-speed connection independent of the capricious limited-bandwith voice lines.
(Take me to the top, Dix.)
Update on Crisis call: SuperStud has reported to Dix that he did seek out a second phone line as the result of his Crisis Call. Friends and relatives are now able to call home, his wife happily whiles away the hours reading pornographic newsgroups, and their sex life is fine, thank you. He is currently investigating higher speeds connections as availability, finances, and libido allows. Another Happy Caller! (Take me to the top, Dix.)
Studly said to Dix:
"Women will not leave me alone...they are constantly wanting to have sex with me...."Ahhhh. That’s very nice, Studly. Dix has a few questions for you:
- Does the name "Walter Mitty" mean anything to you?
- Can you give me some tips on developing my own delusional system?
- And have you, perchance, forgotten to take your psychotropic medication today?
If you don’t have your own psychotropic medication, Dix suggests that you seek some out from a qualified mental health professional. I’m willing to bet a bankroll the size of your ego that some meds of your very own will solve your problem posthaste.
(Take me to the top, Dix.)
My ICQ# is 3359736. Don't have ICQ?
You can still use it to page me.
Better yet, get ICQ. It's very neat, and it's FREE. Really.
©1997-1999, yeah, right...
06/13/99 06:14 PM
Delusional behaviors have occurred in this lifetime. If you want to see verification, veiw my guest book. If you want to your own examples, sign my guest book. And thanks for stopping by!
