I hate being reliant on people who are so unreliable. I must be more independant. Worked an hour or so trying to get some idea on Band3 radios. Went into town on my own after being let down by C.P. Bought Sultans single + James single + Breeders + House of love. Had a hot bath before going out - down barratts. Come home early. I am so distant, fading. I understand what happened with Sadie, she started to see that I lack substance, deep down there is nobody there. i am a shallow empty husk. I must build myself before I can hope to encapsulate myself with some young lady. Was Sadie different? She feels special - I don't fancy my chances - if I can't have her then she wasn't meant to be the one. Don't panic. God she was fabulous.
Must write to some people.
Can't cry any longer.
© 1996 I can ignore you all I want on: its_sph@nene.ac.uk
