999 night at Ritzy?
My life is a bucket of trees. i am in the murky depths of hell and the only face I can see is a grinning pair of lights belonging to a man with a pitch fork. I want to cry and scream and shake things. I want to break something. I want to smack god full in the face and take the best he can give. God you are a sad washed up useless piece of crap - scare mongering leech eat this you waste of space.rrrrrrrrgh, arrrr~~~~~~
God I hurt so much.
If I can't have Sadie then I don't want anyone at all, I'm just going to wash away. I have nothing going for me anymore. Okay okay I've got a grip - I'll explain.
Went out with Sadie + everyone down Ritzy. Sadie tells me she just wants to be friends first. I spend the whole night slipping into hell. Alistair was down there too. I know something was wrong I've been falling apart all weekend. Dammit, hate hate, spit spit spit. i can't lose Sadie never ever, I'll give everything but that. We had a talk through in the car at the end of the night and it's time - she has no time she wants to be friends because commitment is too much for her. i don't know when I'll ever see her but I can't let her go - it may take a while but I must make her see my heart. Just because I'm head over heels for her doesn't mean that she is for me. Ain't that a bitch. I'm knackered and I'm ashamed to think it but I wish I was dead. I know I'll regret that in a few months but thats all I feel right now, Oh god but I love her so much.
© 1996 I can ignore you all I want on: its_sph@nene.ac.uk
