Hello,
Todays page comes to you from the foodstuff, creamy chicken curry. Oh lummee and lovely,
ooh my heart melts. I hate curries, no I really do. I had this chicken birijani (or something)
once - I was convinced by flower, he said if I didn't like it he'd refund my money, nice one
flow (pronounce fl-ow (as in ow ouch, do you get it?)). And I had a forkfull and oh lord bless
my soul was it ever gorgeous, was it ever? well yes it was very nice indeed, but then the
second forkfull wasn't quite what I was after, and then it was down hill all the way until the
fifth forkfull made me spew my guts, but luckily I only had four fork fulls and that was plenty
thanks, no way no more. Still mr flower got some of these Homepride creamy curry sauces
and we had them as a matter of course round at 31 redfield road, midsomer norton after a
hard days graft at the council. And it just grew on me, I love the bloody stuff now, I moved on
to chicken tonite (I feel like etcetera) and now I'm on Sainsbury's chicken saucery (or
somesuch) which is £1.09 compared with chicken tonite which is about £1.59 ish. Chicken
breast is best as the old saying goes but turkey breast is almost as good, if you're really
scraping the barrel you can use pork steak or chops or chicken or turkey thighs or the chunky
bits that fall around the edges of the gas ring that sit and wait there for the good lords finest,
actually them chunky bits are quite tasty, you tend to get a nice mix of sweet, sour and eugh.
Don't bother shitting about putting mushrooms, curly wurly and other crap into it, just the
meat and the sauce, lovely. Watch out though, eat it off a paper plate otherwise you'll have a
yellow dinner service, either that or jump up quick after eating and scream "oh god, oh good,
shift it cloth ears, oh no oh no, boo hoo, help me jesus" etcetera and run to the sick to wash
off that vile juice. I ain't sure if it makes your stomache go yellow, they probably have some
documentary aimed at impressionable kids where they say, "this snowy white lung belongs to
a church going non-smoker, while this manky tarred up black lung belongs to a filthy child
molesting smoker, and this yellow stomache belongs to some sicko curry eater". Oh lord I
ask you. Rice is best in the microwave. Use easy cook rice, not long grain which tastes like
porridge. Stick about a cup full of rice in a bowl and fill it up with water until it's how much
rice you want to end up with. Then stick it in on full power stirring every now and again when
you remember it's there eg between cigarettes. Just keep cooking until all the water is
soaked up and it'll be just right, no need to rinse the rice out or any of that melarky.
Enjoy.
Okay then, todays drink is sainsbury's lemon juice. Weirdly enough it says on the lable "with
sugar and sweetners" that's weird because juice people always seem to be saying
"sweetners, you say? oh no no no, no sweetners, no we have savouriers or something, I don't
know ask him, no animal parts though, errr...". Anyway it's nothing to write home about (not
that I write home, my mum would flip and think something's amiss I only live five minutes up
the road (by bluebird (ie land speed record)) "o gosh why is he writting, has he died, is he
pregnant or on drug, oh no oh woe woe and no oh, I only live five minutes up the road on
bluebird" etcetera. It quenches your thurst, doesn't leave a cacky taste in your mouth and it
makes you pee. bye.....
Previously on America's most wanted fruit pies:
© 1996 Say it with badly chosen words
here
