The Cat
    The man liked his new job as a security guard. He gets to stand 
around and tell people they can't get in if their name isn't on the
 list. He also gets to carry a nightstick. Legally. That is his 
favourite part. He especially likes gesturing meaningfully at it 
when someone got especially insistent when they find out their name 
isn't on the list of people who can get in.  
"Ah this is the life" , he thought aloud to his cat. The cat, of 
course, immediately replied with a loud "Meow" which the man 
interpreted as a response in agreement to his statement, which it 
was. The cat, Beth, did have it good. Especially compared to her 
former life with Thor, the Norse God of storms. It always seemed to 
rain when he was around and that sucked! Beth hates rain. With a 
passion. She hates it so much it consumes all of her soul completely 
(not really but it sounds cooler that way). Thor did feed her good 
food but that didn't compensate for all the rain and other 
precipitation that is always around when he is. "Meow." said Beth. 
(This of course meant "You're a much better owner than Thor don't 
ever give me back to him ever!" But you already knew that.) 
  The man, however, didn't know this and so said nothing and instead 
started getting ready for work. He put on his uniform, and checked 
to make sure his nightstick was in working order (it was). He then 
got into his large red convertible with blue trim and white sidewalls 
and started it. He drove down the highway at 47 miles per hr. This of 
course is the speed limit in his town. He got to work and saw the 
mean guard that worked the shift before him. This guard is so mean 
that he sets his watch 5 minutes ahead so that he can tell his 
replacement "You're late-again! Start getting here earlier or 
I'll tell!" The man doesn't put any faith in his claims and so 
arrived at 1:59 p.m. (2:04 mean guard time.). "You're late-again! 
Start getting here earlier or I'll tell!" the mean guard said for 
the 11th day in a row. "Sorry Jack. I'll be on time tomorrow." the 
man said, also for the 11th day in a row. The man checked the list 
of authorized entries and saw the usual people as well as the one or 
two guests that are usually on there. 
"Wait a second is that who I think it is?" 
"And who might that be". said another voice. 
"Tom Cruis...wait a second you're..." 
"Yeah it's me the President. Am I on the list?"  
"Well let me see... Casman, Clifson, Clifton, Cruise, hmm your name 
doesn't seem to be here...Did you make an appointment?  
"An appointment?"  
"Yes. To get in you need to call ahead of time..."   
"But I'm the President of The United States!"  
"True. But I can't let you in unless your name is on the list..."  
"Not even the President?"  
"Nope see it says right here." 
  The man then showed the President the note he got when he started 
the job. "You wouldn't want me to get fired would you sir?"  
"Of course not. I'll make an appointment and come back, can you give 
me the number?" 
  The man gave the President the number and wished him good day. 
The man waited. The usual people showed up each of them presenting 
his or her I.D. and waiting patiently as the door was unlocked.
Mr. Cruise didn't show up. The rest of the day passed uneventfully.  
  As he got home he noticed two things 1. The cat was out of the bag 
(the man calls his house the bag, but that's another story) 
2. There was  a large, middle aged, office worker standing outside 
his door, waiting patiently. 
"This is odd, I wasn't expecting anyone tonight..." the man thought. 
"Hello" the man said to his double. 
"Wait a second, you look just like me!!"  the man suddenly exclaimed. 
"I was about to say the same thing to you." his double replied. 
"It seems you have a cat." the double stated after a few seconds of 
silence. 
"Yes Thor gave her to me." 
"Thor? As in the Norse god of storms???" 
"Yep same Thor."  
"Well, but, that is, Thor is real???"
 "Of course he is, how could he have given me the cat if he weren't 
real?" 
"True, I hadn't thought of that." 
"Now," the man said, "on to other matters, such as who are you and how
 did you get here." 
"Ah, yes that, " his double responded "Well that's going to take some
 explanation....Shall we step inside for a while?" 
"Sure, why not?" 
  The man put his large red convertible with blue trim and white 
sidewalls into the garage "Nice car" the double commented. 
"I've always liked it." the man replied. 
Stepping inside, the two men took seats on chairs. The cat jumped 
into the man's lap. 
"I'm still wondering how she got outside..." 
"Oh that's easy, the door was open when I got here." 
"The door was open?" 
"Yep. The door was open. I thought at first that a burglar may have 
robbed the place, but then I took a look inside, and saw that 
everything still seemed to be in place, you must have left it open 
when you left." 
"Hmm odd. Wait a second, you came in the house?!?" 
"Well, yes, I was just trying to be helpful." 
"Well ok, now how about answering the question of who you are and how 
you got here?" the man said. 
"Yes well," his double responded "I am as you may have guessed by now, 
your twin brother." 
"That can't be." 
"Why not?" 
"Because I haven't got a twin brother." 
"Yes you do, we were separated at birth." 
"Oh." 
"Yes, well anyway my name is John." 
"I'm George." 
"Nice to meet you. Now as to how I got here, that part is easy,
 I took a plane and a bus, then a taxi here." 
"How did you find me?" the man asked. 
"It wasn't easy, let me tell you that, I had to trace I don't know 
how many false leads before I found the right one, suffice it to say 
that it was a long and arduous process." 
"I don't know what to say..." 
"Quite frankly, neither do I." 
"You were raised in England weren't you?" 
"Yes, I was, ah the accent tipped you off." 
"Yep." 
  The two men sat in silence for a few minutes. 
"Where are you staying?" 
"I found an apartment downtown, I also found a job with a local 
company." 
"Really? Which company?" 
"Hutchins and Hutchins. Actually, at first they thought I was you, 
and were refusing to consider my application." 
"Yeah, I got fired." 
"Yes so I heard. Whacked a phone with a hammer??" 
"Yep, I really wanted my quarter back!" 
"I guess so...Yes well anyway, they hired me, and in fact they tell me 
that I am doing the same job that you were doing before you got fired."
"Strange. Well, as you may already know, I am working for a local 
security firm as a guard." 
"Yep, I heard that at the office this morning." 
The two men sat in silence a bit longer. "Would you like something to 
eat?" the man asked. 
"Yes that would be quite nice, thank you." The two men ate. 
"Well I really should be going now." 
"Yes, nice meeting you." 
"Likewise." The double left. 
  In the morning the man woke up, and found a note taped to his door. 
The note said: This note will self-destruct after reading, I have 
returned the hammer to you, remember my speech about duty to humanity, 
I am back, meet me at the courthouse as soon as possible. Thor. 
  The man went to the courthouse. "Ah phonewrecker, you made it." 
Thor said. 
"My name is George." 
"I know perfectly well what your name is. Anyway I have a job for you."
"A job? What kind of job?" the man asked. 
"A very difficult job, one that you are perfectly suited for." 
"Well, go on." 
"Ok here goes..." Thor then launched into a speech about his duty to 
humanity (again) and at last spelled out the job that he intended 
George to do. It was not easy. George thought for a long time, and 
then said "I'll do it." 
"Good," said Thor, "you can start tomorrow, right after you feed Beth. 
Good luck." 
"Thanks." 
           With that Thor disappeared in a flash of light.  

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