Bravery

    Is it rescuing another from something that they themselves cannot overcome alone? Is it surpassing your fears to accomplish something? Is it walking into a class 4 and a half hours late to get your work to do over the weekend? Is it boldly going where no one has gone before? I guess all of these things could be considered brave, but are they marks of a brave person?

    I think that a brave person is someone who challenges the things ahead of them knowing that they will probably face ridicule and at least a minute amount of failure, but pushing on anyway. There are very few brave people in this world. One person in particular that I can think of that is brave is my brother. Mind you I have racked my brain trying to find someone else I know or can conceive of that is any braver than he. Not even a decorated war hero that has dug through the trenches where an enemy could be lurking around any corner to kill him is braver than my brother. Why? Because my brother is retarded, yet he gets up every single day and faces it. He pushes on constantly, living every moment. There are limits to him and sadly enough even he knows that. The most heart wrenching thought is of him sitting on his bed for at least an hour trying to tie his shoe and finally realizing that he can’t and breaking down and crying.

    He gets up every day and goes to work. He is constantly ridiculed by inpatient people, those who just don't understand that they are lucky that they are not in his shoes. Is it fair to laugh at someone who cannot do something you and I can? Do we ever think about the little things that we can do? Do we count them as a blessing or as a tedious chore that we have to accomplish? What about those who only dream of being able to tie their shoes. Do we know what it is like to reach the limit of our capacities? We all have a small part of this inside of us: the inability to do something. But imagine the inability to do a lot of things.

    We constantly focus on our faults, generally becoming self centered. Saying things like, "why me," and "I am so punished." We feel sorry for ourselves and wallow many times in that self pity and remorse of that which we feel we can’t fix. Instead my brother gets up every day, gets ready and works. He boldly goes about and does what he needs to do, and often things he shouldn’t do, but hell so do we. We go to work have friends and social lives. My brother doesn’t have many friends and is bored a lot with nothing to do. But he gets up every day. He never talks of killing himself and hopefully never thinks of it, although I doubt he thinks of it honestly. He keeps living. He is limited beyond any amount that any of us can imagine. Because we don't understand, I have lived with the man for 20 years and I still do not understand him. He is truly an enigma sometimes. And I guess sometimes I should remember him when I am depressed because I can’t get an "A" in college. And maybe I should remember him sitting on the edge of his bed when I am wallowing in my own misery for whatever stupid reason.

    I don't mean to be sentimental and gushy here, but sometimes I see fools standing by the wayside laughing at my brother or others similar to him. They laugh because they don't understand. Hell I don't understand and I cry. I don't understand how anything like his struggling can be funny?!? I find people who never stop to understand to be some of the more cowardly people on the face of this earth. They are cowards because they don't care to understand. And maybe it is that strive to understand and get something that makes my brother brave. But damn I don't think I could live as he does. I value those little trivial things in life way too much, like tying my shoes. Thankfully I have my brother to remind me of those things that I need to value. Else I would probably never stop to see that things aren't always easy for others.

    Hell I’m not asking the world to change because of the way I feel. I am asking the world to think about what they have. No I’m not ranting...I guess I’m crying out. But hell does it matter? When it all comes down to it I think that everyone is going to do whatever the hell they want whether it hurts someone else or not. Because man is naturally evil...aren’t we. We constantly do things that are horrid and unthinkable. The human spirit is not triumphant it’s evil. Riddled with what it can get out of others. I guess if you have bothered to read this far I guess I want to truly know what you think about it. What is your reaction. Do you look away when you see someone in a wheel chair, afraid that you might stare? Do you amuse yourselves by making fun of those who are retarded? Do you find the need to protect them? Do you feel sorry for them? What? I really want to know...

    I guess all I have to say is if you feel sorry for them then you need to reevaluate those feelings...because I don't feel sorry for my brother. He is truly a brave soul. Yes he has his faults and problems just like the rest of us. But he is not one for pity and neither is anyone else for that matter. To be honest even after twenty-some-odd years living with him, I still get embarrassed by things he does and says. I still try not to stare at people in a wheel chair. I still get frustrated beyond yelling with him. I still act stupid and misunderstanding with him. But hey I’m not perfect and I don't mean to sound that way. He is still the bravest person I know.