Truth

I find that often I meet a stranger and they are more candid about what they have seen or done than those that are close to me.

We end up getting so close to someone and caring so much for them that we find it hard to tell the truth. Or at the very least the entire truth. We have something to say but it often gets lost because we are afraid of hurting the other person. Much less mention jeopardizing our own safety. If I hurt you with what I say you will hurt me equally with something more candid and cutting. Instead we dance around each other making excuses and finally being reduced to cutting abraising remarks that end up driving that person away until finally they say fuck off or worse yet piss off. There is always something to say, we are not always brave enough to say it. Why? Because we are afraid of others reactions and emotions, but even more importantly we are afraid of our own reactions and emotions.

Is it so insane to think that we are alone in this? People aren’t so different that we don't generally think alike and react alike in a lot of ways. Some say it would be a collective unconscious kind of thing, others may say that it is in the genes, I would have to say that it is a preprogramming ingrained in us that God put there. We are made by one creator with one mind that has many facets and in those many facets in that one mind come many shadows to the original image.

Gasp! Pheonix is a Christian. Yes she is....but does that make me any less intelligent because I happen to see the world differently than say an atheist or a Buddhist. Hell yes I see the world differently, with a different outlook and philosophy. But does that make me wholly and completely different that all you out there? I don't think so. I think that we all have the same insecurities and basic reactions to most things. It is the true bullshit artist or practiced expert that make those basic instincts different in ourselves. But is that lurking feeling still inside. Are we simply repressing that emotion or reaction to show a different face to the world or have we truly drummed out that nasty reaction?

A small scenario, someone you love says that you need to stop doing something. They say it because they care. What is our first reaction at the initial news of this circumstance? Is it to instantly defend your actions and try to convince them but mostly yourself that what the perception is merely a phantom created in their own mind? Or is it to automatically take everything they say as the truth and immediately change your ways? I think that the variation on the first reaction would be most peoples initial instinct. What is wrong with what I am doing, I’m not hurting anyone....or you don't understand.

I firmly believe that if you have something to say, say it. The harboring of a caring suggestion can often turn into ill response on your part and soon drive you to eventually become annoyed and angered by even the site of the person in question. So what if they defend their actions and say you are wrong. You’ve done your part, you have cared enough to say something.

Sometimes I know there is nothing to say. Those times are the worse. I have watched people I deeply loved slowly destroy their lives and quietly surrendered to the idea that there was nothing I could say or do. That is complete and utter bullshit. Why? Because I didn’t care enough to say something... Because I was scared? Of loosing them? Well I lost them anyway. And where are these people now? Probably dead or passed out on someone’s floor as I type this, as you read this. I’m not saying that by saying nothing that you are going to aid in the death or destruction of someone else’s life, but I guess you’ll never know if you never say a damn thing.