The Big Ride

So this idea has been cooking in my head for some time now. I've been wanting to do a big ride, meaning a long distance ride, one that would include camping and living on and off a bicycle.
I've got the equipment(heck I took it all with me to Europe last year). And at the moment it looks like I can take the time. I thought I'd wait till the end of August, as the lease where I live is up at that time. It looks like we can push it up now.
It is all I am thinking about at the moment, it is getting disturbing. I don't know...
You read about these great trips that start when the worst of stuff is happenning in people's lives, like the loss of a job, or getting kicked out of their apartment, divorce. It's always something cooking in the back of their heads. Suddenly, the opportunity presents itself in their lives and they are on their way.

This happened to me a while ago. I was in St. Louis, wondering where life might take me. A series of events took place, and I wound up on a bus heading to Minneapolis. What happen wasn't fun, I wound up having to spend some time in jail. I guess there was a lesson in them. I feel the same could happen now(not the jail thing though). I feel there is a lesson to learn. I just am not sure what that lesson is.
I know I have not wanted to spend another winter in Minnesota. I know I would like to move to a city where I could ride my bicycle everyday of the week without fear of falling on the ice, and bruising a tailbone again.
Two years ago I took a trip to San Diego. I found it a likeable place with ocean, large city, close to several entertainment venues, as well as its own venues. I found the climate likeable too. I imagine one can ride/commute to work by bicycle through out the year, without great difficulty. Add to the mix the fact my family has moved to Arizona. I could proabably stand AZ too.

There are things that I consider before making this jump on the bike. One are my jobs. I work two jobs, seven days a week, have for almost a year now. I have gotten involved with other recovering addicts, as a sponsor, and will miss that. I will miss some of the things I have today: the Jobs, the sponsees, riding eight different bikes.
I don't have any money. I don't have a checking account, a credit card, a great paying job. I do have eight bicycles, two cars, seven computers, a futon, a tent, sleeping bag, sleeping pad, painners, the desire.
Why is it so hard to make a decision? Why is it difficult to listen to the still small voice, that says "go for it."
-FIN-

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Other essays:
A Rant on Hugging

A bike tour experience

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