PORTRAIT OF VONBEK

'SEEKER'

I see Von in this portrait looking in a mirror, evaluating himself with a critical eye. He does not lend the same compassion and understanding to himself that he gives to others, often judging himself harshly.

I have to wonder what experience, or lack of, makes Von see himself as he does, in the harshness of brillant light that carries no shadows. Maybe this is his sadness. To see the rawness of ourselves without any shadowing or shading can be quite scary.

I want him to look in the mirror and see himself as others do,     as I do.

Von is the hardest to paint of all because of his wish for invisibility. Why this wish, this reticience to let others see him? Is there some twisted darkness in his soul he wishes to hide from us? Some deviated character flaw?

Defintely not. Von is one of the nicest people I've ever met. Better read than most of us, studious, easy-going and sensitive. There is nothing abnormal about Von, only a rare individualism. It would be catastrophic for him to try to fit into the 'mold' that others do. There is a touch of true genius in him, and as genius tends to do in some, it has opened many avenues of self-discovery and doubt.

I know there is strength in Von, touched by wisdom beyond his years, the kind that comes from self-searching and knowledge. A strentgh and wisdom that lends itself to others when needed, and I am one that has benefitted from this.   He is a friend.

The depth of his talent is as yet undefined, but a true talent it is, and I would hate to see it disciplined. He should let it run wild and free, unchecked, without concern how others will re-act to it's revelation. To discover himself through the abundance of it's product and wear his true cloak of indentity instead of one of invisibility, to develope and grow as the artist he is and glorify in his uniqueness and individualism.

I would use a lot of black, gray and red in Von's portrait, with touches of yellow, burnt orange and white.

Jilli

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