Jealousy © by ^rani^
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Webpage by Jilli
JEALOUSY
by: ^rani^
Sometimes our lives are fulled up with jealousy, strife and rage. Why? Why must we all be consumed by this terrible monster? Why do others seem to go out of thier way to make a content person jealous. Especially someone we have in the past called "friend." Now, I am unsure. It seems as if my choice in friends seems to be lacking. Why is this? Am i such a bad person that all of those whom I call friends should turn on me.
You say to one friends "What should I do?" You beg and plead for some good strong advice. What you really want is to be told that everything is going to be alright. They give you advice to hold off, wait. Don' t do anything, see what developes. This out of only selfish ambition, not to truly help me, but to actually hinder me it seems. Why can't we all just be honest with each other, instead we lie. I did not take the advice that was offered, to wait and see. This advice just did not work for me.
Life is short and full of regrets. Regrets for me that I did wait and see . See nothing happen, while I wait and wonder. What could have been? If only I had tried to do something. Not this time my friend. This time I went with my heart. I went with my heart, and I'm so glad. I really truly would have been so sad. If I had taken this bad advice I would not see what is meant to be or not meant to be. I followed my heart and made a new start.
I found what I want and now I can be content. It's true I could have been walking on air or on cloud nine, but not every cloud has a silver lining, I have found.
I am content, for the moment at least. Some of us aren't so lucky to find even a measure of this. How long will it last? Probably about a week or maybe even two, then I go back to the dreaming that I do. Dreams are a wonderful thing. You can be anyone or anything, anywhere in time, in any place imaginable.
I love to write to pretend that the heroin and I are one, feeling the same emotions. Sharing the same joy and pain. In the end it's always the same. The girl finds joy, while I find pain. The pain of my love not being returned to me in kind. One of these days I will find my one true love here. I just worry that I will be stuck on someone else when this happens. And yet, I worry that my love will decide that it is me he wants, then it will be too late for us. And I will have chosen another. I don't want to settle you see, for second best or just friendship . . . I want all the rest. The roses and wine and even little cupids flying around our heads. Is this too much to ask?
Should I just let these dreams fade? Do dreams ever come true? Will it be a miracle if they do? When I find out these answers, I will be sure to pass them on. In the mean time be happy all and Good Luck to you in finding your love so true.
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