Well I hope everyone is enjoying the summer heat a lot less than I already do. Since I hate the summer months and prefer the blissful cool of Fall and Winter.(Which lasts about 2weeks in Southren California.) We have to seek refuge in the artificial arctic circle we call the movie cinema. Alas, be warned; You may not get what seven dollars and fifty cents paid for, so I have written........

WAYS TO TELL IF YOU'RE IN FOR A BAD TIME AT THE MOVIES

• If the title includes the sequel number,"Part eight"
• The first word of the movie title is,"Ernest"
• You can actually stand without being embarrased after watching a XXX film.
• The guy next to you says,"Hi, I'm Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun times, you're not going to eat that popcorn you just spilled on your lap, are you"?
• The title involves the word, "Ninja".
• If you barely notice you're sitting between Tipper Gore and Pat Buchanan right as the movie starts playing,"Science Fiction/Double Feature".
• The Floors are sticky and there was no refreshment stand out front.
• Just one word......Madonna.
• "This is your Captain speaking, I want to thank you all for flying on TWA flight 800, Our in-flight movie will begin in just a few minutes."
• You're date sneaks in menudo and pigs feet as a snack.
• You and your date decide to cuddle to a good film after a high starch and fiber filled Chinese dinner.