10 Words That Don't Exist, But Should


 1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn
 the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.
 
 2. CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of
 running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times,
 reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then  putting it back
 down to give the vacuum one more chance.
 
 3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of confection
 (lolly) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will
 somehow 'remove' all the germs.
 
 4. ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for
 one armrest in a movie theater.
 
 5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept
 onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he
 finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
 
 6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open
 here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the
 'illegal' side.
 
 7. PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole
 purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh
 ground pepper.
 
 8. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number
 and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
 
 9. PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog
 presses its nose to it.
 
 10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always
 letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when
 you're only six inches away.


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