1. You try to enter your password on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. 4. You e-mail your colleague at the desk next to you to ask "Do you wanna go out for lunch?" and he replies "Yeah, give me five minutes". 5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South America,but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year. 6. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they don't have e-mail. 7. Your idea of being organized is multicolored post-its. 8. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person. 9. When you go home after a long day at the office you still answer the phone in a business manner. 10. When you make calls from home, you automatically dial "9" to get an outside line. 11. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies. 12. You really get excited about a 1.7% pay raise. 13. Your biggest loss from a computer crash is all of your jokes. 14. It's dark when you drive to and from work, even in the summer. 15. You know exactly how many days you've got left until retirement. 16. Interviewees, despite not having the knowledge or experience, terminate the interview when told the starting salary. 17. When you see a good looking, smart person, you know it must be a visitor. 18. Being sick is defined as not being able to walk or being in the hospital. 19. You're already late on the assignment you just got. 20. Your boss' favorite lines are: " When you've got a few minutes..."
"Could you fit this in...?"
21. Every week another collection envelope comes around because someone you didn't know had started is leaving. 22. You wonder who's going to be left to put money into your 'leaving' envelope. 23. Your family and friends describe your job as "works with computers". 24. You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting. 25. You read this entire list, nodding and smiling. 26. As you read this list, you thought about forwarding it to your "friends you send jokes to" e-mail group. 27. It crosses your mind that your jokes group may have seen
this list already, but you can't be bothered to check, so you forward it
anyway!
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COLIN DEDRICKS
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