We are at the OzzFest in Boston, and Machine Head, Type O Negative, Coal Chamber and Fear Factory have all completed their sets for the day. Seated on Fear Factory's tour bus are Burton C Bell, Peter Steele, Robb Flynn and Dez Fafara, but little do they know what lies in store as Dino Cazares sits them all down for a round of truth or dare. Robyn Doreian provides the hedgehog food whilst Dino fires the questions. Go Dino!

DINO: "As everyone knows, this is truth or dare and if you want to take the dare, you have to eat the hedgehog food." BURTON: "Is it open yet?" DINO: "No, it's not going to be opened yet. I have questions for everyone. This first is for you Burt. Truth or dare?" BURTON: "Truth." DINO: "I am going to skip the first one as it's too nice." PETER: "He's going to save the first one for me. I know his type." DINO: "It is rumoured you have three testicles. Is that true?" BURTON: "This is true. It's called polyorchid." PETER: "Can we see?" BURTON: "You can't see it, but you can feel it through." DINO: "You want to feel it?" PETER: "After you, my brother." (Much laugh ensues) PETER: "Age before beauty. My haemorrhoids feel the same way. I am a virgin so I can't do that, plus I just washed my hands." DINO: "Dez - truth or dare?" DEZ: "Truth." DINO: "It has been rumoured you have been celibate for the past year." PETER: "Celebrating what?" (Group hilarity erupts!) DEZ: "Celibate whilst I am on the road." PETER: "Watch this. Go on, take your best shot." DINO: "She made the questions up, not me. (Points to your fearless Editor who is wishing she was one inch tall about now!). Mine would be a little more personal if I was making them up. Peter - truth or dare?" PETER: "Truth." DINO: "It is reputed that you have slept with 50 women in the past year." PETER: "Yeah, but I always sleep with them, no sex. I went to sleep with the, woke up, made them breakfast, the she went off to work and I went off to play a stupid show. That's the truth. He (Dez) is unhappy with the answer." (Much caffawing!) DEZ: "Seems we are being careful with our answers." PETER: "Did you say last week or last year?" DINO: "Last yeat." BURTON: "Last week? I'd be dead!" PETER: "Do you want the truth?" DINO: "Well it is truth or dare..." PETER: "I think the answer is at least 50! But only slept with them, like I said..." (Burton laughts) DINO: "Burt, you're next. You claim to be in the audience for Nirvana's 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' video." BURTON: "That's true..." PETER: "He's lying! He's afraid of hedgehog food!" DINO: "He's laos on the back of a seven-inch single cover." BURTON: "Yeah, it's 'Sliver'. I'm standing right in front of the stage totally high off my ass!" PETER: "You? High?" BURTON: "Believe it or not. I was stoned." (Mass laughter once again erupts!) DINO: "Dez, truth or dare?" DEZ: "I'll take truth as I'm scared of the hedgehog food." DINO: "Your real name is not Dez." DEZ: "No, it's Bradley. My nickname has been Dez since I was about 12, that's why Bradley is on the album. Friends gave it to me, after Dez Cadenza from Black Flag, because I got my nose broken at a Black Flag concert one night when I was a tiny kid. I am still tiny and still a kid, so..." DINO: "Truth or dare? Next one's for you, Peter." PETER: "Truth." DINO: "It has been rumoured that you are sympathetic to the white power organisations." PETER: "You are getting political on me." DINO: "And your favourite band in Brujeria." (Group hilariy ensues) DINO: "And your favourite album is 'Kill Whitey'." PETER: "I feel that sh*t comes in all colours, honestly. I don't believe in any kind of power, maybe green power. Brujeria? I believe I saw the inner sleeve of their CD and it was pretty cool, but I didn't know the person who was beheaded." PETER: "Who made these questions up - truth or dare?" DINO: "Robyn!" PETER: "I think you should take the dare. I think that hedgehod food is looking really good now." DINO: "I've got one for you Burt. Truth or dare?" BURTON: "I haven't smelt the hedgehog food yet, so I'll take the truth." DINO: "This one is pretty simple. You are half of a set of twins." BURTON: "True." PETER: "The other one was a placenta, right?" (Loud chortling from all corners of the bus) BURTON: "He was born 10 minutes before I was." DINO: "His brother has one testicle." BURTON: "He's my twin, and he looks like me a little bit, but we're not identical. He's a musician and plays what he calls alternative country music. He lives in Huntsville, Texas and is a very cool person. We are very close." DINO: "Dez - truth or dare?" DEZ: "Truth." DINO: "You are going to write a song about you dog called 'Ode To Poobah' for the next Coal Chamber album." DEZ: "Yeah. He's a badass little motherf*cker." PETER: "I would take any of my pers over all the people in this world any day of the week."

BURTON: "I love my cat. My cat rules." DINO: "Got one for Pete. Truth or dare?" PETER: "I'm not going to eat the hedgehog food." DINO: "It is rumoured that you have never had sex in the missionary position." PETER: "I have had sex in any position she wants me to." BURTON: "You're a sympathiser..." PETER: "I'm a liar!" (Group hilarity breaks out) DINO: "This ones is for Burton. Obviously you will want the truth.." BURTON "I haven't smelt the hedgehog food yet.." (Unfortuenately for everyone, the can has been opened...) DINO: "You have always wanted to include a version of Elvis' 'Always On My Mind' in Fear Factory's live set..." BURTON: "Not that song (laughts)! I'd do an Elvis cover, but not for a Fear Factory set. I'd do a more upbeat one, maybe 'King Creole', or 'Devil In Disguise', 'Jailhouse Rock'." (Burton smells the can and comments that is smells like cat food). PETER: "I'm taking dare this time. You've got to feed me, mama." (At this point you subservient Editor finds herself involuntarily percged upon Pete Steele's tree trunk of a leg, preparing to feed him a spoonful of Spik's Dinner. A tower is placed purposefully on Pete's knee and everyone awaits to see if this whole thing is going to turn into puke or dare!) PETER: "That much?! Go, bay go!" ROBYN: "If you are going to puke, you have to let me know." PETER: "Go, bay go! I am going to stick my tongue down your throat when I'm finished." (Pete takes the hedgehog food like a man. Much laughter and screaming ensues) PETER: "Just like catering! It's down." DEZ: "f*ck yeah! That was great!" BURTON: "That was impressive!" ROBYN: "Give that man a drink!" PETER: "Give my a glass of pis* to wash it down with!" DINO: "Got one for Burt! Are you listening? Truth or dare?" BURTON: "Truth. I don't want to eat no hedgehog food." DINO: "Is it true that you sometimes sh*t your pants when you're onstage?" BURTON: "Alright, that would be true." DINO: "That is more like a question for everybody, as all you guys are singers." BURTON: "It happened like four or five times in the entire time I have been touring as sometimes I just put a little too much into it..." DEZ: "And get a little too much out!" (Ritous laughter ricochets around the bus walls) BURTON: "It happened at the first Dynamo that we played, and also happened at a Sick Of It All and Biohazard show..." DINO: "A little trouser chilli." BURTON: "Yes, it's true!" DINO: "What about you Pete?" PETER: "I never had to take a sh*t onstage except for one time when this security stage jinzed me just before we were going on. He said, 'I was always wondering, what do you guys do if you have to take a sh*t and you're onstage?' I told him that I always make sure I take care of it before I go out onstage. "I walked out on the stage and URRGHHH! - there it was!" (Outrageous laughter overcomes all present) PETER: "A f*cking pine cone in my ass for an hour and a half! Thankfully it wasn't pokind its head out. Then I was onstage and it got really hard in there."   Robb Flynn walks in... BURTON: "Someone throw me a Budweiser!" PETER: "Want some of mine?" DINO: "Robb - truth or dare?" ROBB: "Truth." DINO: "Chris Kontos left the band and was not kicked out?" ROBB: "FIRED! He got the boot! Kicked out!" DINO: "Truth or dare?" ROBB: "Truth." DINO: "You have a cheese fetish." (Burton laught out loud!) ROBB: "What, like a pus* cheese fetish? I've been knows to lick some toe cheese before now, up in girls' toes." (Dino cracks up, no doubt reliving a few old memories) ROBB: "It's after the hedgehog food that I did it." PETER: "Smells like fish, but tastes like chicked." (Pete cracks another good'n) PETER: "There goes my Roadrunner contract. Get him, get him Dino!" DINO: "You wanted to be an astronaut when you were growing up." ROBB: "Err. It's just because all the girls I get call me an astronaut." DEZ: "He drives a big rocket ship and sends the girls into orbit!" DINO: "Do you wanna tell the truth or eat the hedgehog food?" PETER: "No, you don't want to do it, it's f*cking disgusting!" ROBB: "Hold my hand. Look at him on his knees like the bad priest!" (Robb eats a healthy spoonful of Spike's Dinner) PETER: "The man is used to being on tour, that's why he can take it." ROBB: "Is that German?" (Much laughter and grimacing takes place as Robb masks his disgust whilst digesting the punishment) DINO: "Truth or dare Robb?" ROBB: "Could someone hand me a beer after that? Truth." DINO: "The reason you covered Ice T's 'Colours' is that he promised to make you an honourary homie."

ROBB: "No, that's not true. I have never even met the man actually. We argued one time at Foundations Forum one time talking about cencorship over the Body Count thing and he was like, BARR RAHH RAHH! I hadn'e slept for 24 hours so I was like BARR RAHH RAHH!, but it is a fine song. Back in those days that song was like the baddest sh*t around. It had the metal f*cking riffs." DINO: "Dez - truth or dare?" DEZ: "Truth." DINO: "You have been quoted as saying that Ecst*cy enhances se*ual performance. True or false." DEZ: "Very true. We do these things called quickenings where we do it for like five days in a row. On the fifth day it is called the quickening, as you can do it twice as much. You do it, then go to sleep, then do it all again. You f*ck like crazy!" DINO: "I thought you were celibate!" (Much ooing and aahing from Messiers Steele and Bell) PETER: "You should work for the National Enquirer, Dino!" (A further outburst on laughter) DINO: "Burt! Truth or dare?" BURT: "Truth." DINO: "When Fear Factory was on tour with Biohazard and a fight broke out, you were the first one to tun out the door like a puss*." (Laughter and screaming from the rabble) PETER: "I heard the fight was over a cat and he ran out after the puss*." BURTON: "No, that is false." DINO: "Alright Pete, there is a rumour that you like to cook pancakes naked." PETER: "Well you know, once you've been splattered with grase whilst cooking naked, you learn to wear underwear. I don't do it any more. Dino - did you write these things?" (Group hilarity on cue) DINO: "This one is for Robb. Truth or dare?" ROBB: "Truth." DINO: "Are you one of those secret members of Brujeria?" ROBB: "Sworn to secrecy!" DINO: "Any more beers? This is a question for Pete. Is it true that yout entire wardrobe consists of one pair of black jeans and a green t shirt?" (Mass hysteria erupts!) PETER: "Okay, the joke is on me. You are all out of my will. f*ck you all! I have about 10 pairs of black pants - stop laughing! You're hurting my feelings! Waint until Joe Pesci manages Type O Negative, this ain't going to happen any more. He'll be in here with a baseball bat. He'll take care of you, Dino!" DINO: "Everybody is pointing the finger at me. I didn't write these questions!" PETER: "Alright, I'll answer your questions. I have about eight or nine pairs of these black pants and about 15 or 16 green shirts because they match with my teeth." DINO: "Robb Flynn. Have you ever freebased?" ROBB: "Yes I have! Don't be talking about no freebase unless you have some!" (Laughter ensues once again) PETER: "Are you talking about a bass guitar endorsement? Free basses?" DINO: "Another Robb one. Truth or dare?" ROBB: "Truth, I am done on the dare." DINO: "Is it true you with you could destroy all the photos of yourself in Vio-lence?" ROBB: "No, not at all." DINO: "There's no more Burt ones here, what's up? Seeing Burt used to work for Metal Hammer, we can't go easy on you." ROBYN: "It's payback time! Everyone can now ask Dino one!" DINO: "I could really bust out with some sh*t!" ROBYN: "You can ask Dino anything you like!" PETER: "I'm going to be mean to you! In pounds, how much do you weight?" DINO: "225 pounds." DEZ: "Is it true that you come by my house every morning going loco whether I am aleep or not?" DINO: "Truth!" ROBB: "Is it true that you eat $4000 worth of food every month?" DINO: "I don't condone it, but I understand." PETER: "I have to go now, I have a night off in Brooklyn. I can sleep in my own bed, poop in my own toilet. You know how that feels gentlemen?" BURTON: "Dino, truth or dare?" DINO: "Truth." BURTON: "Is it true that you are going to start your own porno industry?" DINO: "If I make enough money off this tour, yeah." DEZ: "Is it true that Dez is not allowed to come over to your house to watch The Simpsons at seven o'clock because you're watching porn all the time?" DINO: "False!" ROBB: "When Machine Head, Powerman 5000 and Fear Factory share a dressing room, is it true that you're the culprit who sprays the back of the toilet with sh*t speckles every time? Somebody is the f*cking culprit man. I don't know who it is!" DINO: "No."   As Dino's foray into the world of music journalism draws to and end, he had quite possibly become the most unpopular man on the bus. Robyn Doreian sneaks out the back way. Now he knows how it feels to be a music journaist...