My Book Reports

By Mark Anthony Masterson
Col 1
12/05/96
This Week's Victim Report:
Buzz by Stephen Braun

Aside from the fact that I am slowly turning into a bulky version of Steve Buscemi, I'm pretty happy with the way my lifestyle has been headed. When I get the right stuff, I'm pretty peppy, and when I don't I get pretty bitchy, which makes for some great comedy in the acerbic wit vein. Ergo, I wind up ahead of the game most of the time. For a while there I tried cutting down on caffeine, and really, the best thing about that was getting back on the stuff. But all in all, mind-altering chemicals have treated me pretty well over the past seven years or so. Granted, I didn't start drinking until I was Eighteen, and I always guiltily wondered whether my mental crash-and-burns of recent years were due to killing off thousands and thousands of braincells every working day with Gin and Tonic. I also didn't start imbibing coffee until I was Twenty, and sorta kinda suspected that that's why I haven't been to bed before 3 AM for more than two nights in a row since then. But after reading the not-too-technical, but chock-a-block full of science Buzz I know that neither of these is likely to be the case and that's why it's the best book I've read yet this year.
Mr. Braun has a lot of degrees and grants and things and you can read about them in the Acknowledgements, but the main thing is that he sounds smart. He's like a cool Uncle who just got back from Neptune and is ready to tell you all about it. He compares hardcore studies with anecdotal evidence. He uses metaphor to punch up otherwise boring data. He points out that the Ethanol molecule looks like a fat dog. His facts are shocking and his theories are labeled as such. You get the feeling that if you were the Unabomber and could only trust one scientist, this is the guy you'd call.
Oh yeah, the book is about Alcohol and Caffeine and how they affect the brain and body. It's not a moral tract, and it's not a incitement to riot. It's a simple, short, clearheaded look at the latest findings in neuroscience and chemistry and how they relate to that Cuba Libre in your hand. Practical stuff, and timely, too. Once they wipe out tobacco, we won't have anything but our moonshine and arabica.
Not necessarily by coincidence, I have written two comic book stories on these topics (alcohol and caffeine), albeit with a more worshipful, mythic tone to them. They are called "The Legend of the Bud Woman" and "Prometheus Unground" and are available to anyone who wishes to send their address to Torturous Productions.

Hey, any review that you can end with a self-serving plug is a review to be proud of.

Col 3

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© 1996 Mark Anthony Masterson

Those with rebuttals can drop a line to misterdark@mail.geocities.com

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