Wanting "together", but needing "alone".
Setting out on a journey of my own.
Retreating deep within my mind.
Searching for answers I've yet to find.
Taking a step onto a new path, I begin to walk
Fearing what I'll find, but not wanting to balk.
Looking for the person inside of me.
So that I can open the door and set her free.
Turning the corner, to look upon myself
Seeing what I'd long ago put on a shelf.
Finding a person who had pushed passion aside,
And in the name of protection she chose to hide.
Not wanting to feel pain, so she built a wall,
Choosing instead, to feel nothing at all.
Clanging sounds as I unbind the chains,
That locked away my castoff remains.
What glorious treasures, I'd forgotten I had,
Pushed them back, thinking they were "bad".
Taking them down, reclaiming them as mine,
Dusting them off and letting them shine.
Taking a risk and exposing a smile.
Feeling laughter bubble up, I've now traveled a mile.
Seeing me, not believing what I've found,
Precious gifts that wanted to be unbound.
First, there are many words, that were waiting to be written,
But weren't, for fear of being bitten.
An outline of a mouth, that had forgotten how to speak,
And out of fear had become quite meek.
A set of dazzling green eyes, that had yearned to see,
Because they were so busy looking for what couldn't be.
A pair of hands that were no longer used to touch,
For fear they wouldn't receive the embrace they needed so much.
Ears, upon whom silence had fell.
Not wanting to hear the bad people would tell.
Then finally, at long last, surrounded by steel,
A heart seeking release, and finally beginning to feel.
I was here, locked away in the recesses of my mind,
Expecting another person to make the great find.
Which would have been impossible you see,
Because I refused to hand over the key.
Never before has there been a time when I had the strength,
To make the walk through my soul, because of it's length.
It was long, and hard, but oh what a joy.
I've found myself, I've got a new toy!
I've been on a journey, rediscovering me,
Now I've decided to share, and let everyone see.
CTO 5/23/98
Just what do I want?
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