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A truck driver hauling a trailer-load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a
big sign on the door saying, "Nerds Not Allowed - Enter At Your Own
Risk!" He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him,
sniffs, and says, "You smell kind of nerdy. What do you do for a living?"
The truck driver says, "I drive a truck, and the smell is just from
the computers I am hauling." The bartender says, "Okay, truck
drivers are not nerds," and serves him a beer. As he is sipping his
beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector
with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long.
The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the
guy away. The truck driver says, totally shocked, "Why did you do
that?" The bartender says, "Not to worry, the nerds are overpopulating
Silicon Valley and are in season now. You don't even need a license."
The truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads back
onto the freeway. Suddenly he veers to avoid an accident, and the load
shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out all over the
freeway. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming, grabbing up the
computers. They are all engineers, accountants and programmers wearing
the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen. He decides he can't let them steal
his whole load. Remembering what happened in the bar, he pulls out his
gun and starts blasting away, felling several of them instantly. A highway
patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps out of the car screaming at him
to stop. The truck driver says, "What's wrong? I thought nerds were
in season." "Well, sure," says the patrolman. "But
you can't bait 'em."
There was this forlorn looking trucker sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He didn't move for a half-an-hour.
Then, this big trouble-maker stepped up right next to him, took the drink from the guy, and just drank it all down.
The poor man started crying so the trouble-maker turned and said to him, "Hey, man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I hate to see a grown man cry."
"No, it's not that. Today is the worst day of my life. First, I overslept and got two speeding tickets trying to make a hot load deadline. My boss became so enraged that he fired me. When I left the dispatcher's office I found my car had been stolen. I got home only to find my wife was in bed with the mailman. I left home depressed and came to this bar. And now,just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, YOU show up and drink my poison!"
A truck driver had a habit of running over attorneys whenever he would see one walking
along the road.
One day he saw a priest who's car had broken down and needed a lift. He decided to do a
good turn and pick up the priest. He asked the priest, "where are you headed, Father?"
The priest replied, "I would like to go about another five miles to the church."
"No problem, Father! I would be happy to give you a lift, hop on in the truck."
Just after picking up the priest, the trucker saw a lawyer walking along the road. He
immediately started to swerve over to hit him. At the last second, he remembered the priest
was with him, so he swerved back - narrowly missing the lawyer.
However, even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud THUMP!
He turned to the priest and asked him what happened.
The priest replied, "I could see you were going to miss him, so I got him with the door."