narrator: there was a small town in the furthest corner of nowhere called Grumpenhagen. Now Grumpenhagen was not the happiest town in the world. in fact, it's inhabitants were quite, well, grumpy. it always seemed to rain in town, but no one knew if it really rained more there than anywhere else, or if it was because the people were so mean. Grumpenhagen was surrounded by a huge wall, with gates on either end, but the people were so miserable, that no one ever wanted to come into the town, so the gates were always locked. most of the people in the town were shop owners, but they were very poor. no one would ever come into the shops, because the owners were so grumpy and they never smiled. and because no one ever came into their shops, the shopkeepers couldn't sell anything and became even grumpier. One unusually nice day a stranger came into town and went into one of the local shops.
child: hey dad dude! there's like this person in the store.... wonder what he wants.
shopkeeper: (sighs) i know he won't wanna buy nothin. (sighs again)
child: (whispers to father) dad dude, what's that guy doin?
shopkeeper: (back to child) i don't know, i think he's smilin!
shopkeeper: (aloud to stranger) what you smilin about?
stranger: why it's a great day to be alive, why shouldn't i be smiling?
child: (aside) looks like we got us a weird one here.
shopkeeper: (incredulous to stranger) so you want to buy that?
stranger: yup. and can i get a half gallon of yak milk to go with that?
shopkeeper: (dumbfounded) uh, sure.
(stranger pays shopkeeper and then reaches into his pocket. hands shopkeeper a warm fuzzy.)
stranger: here take this and share it.
(exeunt stranger. ;)
shopkeeper: what is this??
(but the shopkeeper has already left.)
narrator: the shopkeeper, so excited about the stranger's gift, that he closes up shop and runs home to show it to his wife.
shopkeeper: Martha!!!!! Martha!!!
wife: DON'T COME IN HERE I JUST FINISHED MOPPING (voice fades) the floor... keeper: Look here at what I got!
wife: you best not have traded the cow for no magic beans again!!
keeper: naw martha. look here!
wife: i'm lookin, an i still ain't got no clue what in tarnation it is. now scoot back, i'm moppin!
keeper: i'm sorry, but look! This stranger he came into town, see, and he was smilin and he gave me this here fuzzy thing and...
wife: (icy and skeptical) gave you? you're tellin me that some stranger.... a stranger you've never met, for that matter, came into the store and gave you that thing????
keeper: uh huh!!
wife: it better not have fleas.
keeper: it don't, just here, take it.
(hands it to her. she pets it and half smiles.)
wife: what you call this thing anyway.
keeper: well, i dunno really. it's warm. and it's fuzzy. so i'm thinkin i could call it a warm fuzzy.
wife: i reckon i like that!
(enter child.)
child: like mom! dad! dudes! like what you smilin about? like you ain't smiled in like, three years dudes!
(shopkeeper and wife in unison pull out fuzzies to show child.)
both (to child): look at this! (they look and see in order: 1) other person's fuzzy, 2) other person's confused face, 3) their own fuzzy, 4) other person's face again.) hey.....
(look back at own fuzzy and gingerly reach back in pockets and start pulling out more fuzzies.)
child: cool dude!! fuzzy things!!
(happiness, rejoicing, dancing and all that kinda stuff.)
narrator: the next day on the way to work.....
(shopkeeper is smiling and whistling on way in to work. a group of grumpy villagers is in his path. )
villagers: what you smilin about.
shopkeeper: well, a stranger came into the store yesterday, and gave me one of these here warm fuzzies and it's the nicest gift i ever did get. except maybe for that there cow you gave me last christmas, Joe. (Joe being one of the villagers.) here, have one. (as he passes them out to the villagers)
villager 1: I thought you said the stranger gave you a warm fuzzy, you just gave us x warm fuzzies. where'd you get the rest of them?
shopkeeper: well, (scratches head) i don't really know. just every time i go into my pocket to get one, there's always one there. got a closet full of them at home. my wife's gonna make me a pair of bunny slippers out of them. I gotta get going now, you all have a nice day.
villager 1: yeah, (slowly smiling) you too!
villagers individually: yeah you too. have a nice day. buh bye!
(the villagers who were mean before start palling around and smiling.)
narrator: after that, the villagers started smiling a lot more. the gates of the city were open during the day, and it didn't seem to rain as much. whenever people saw each other on the street they would smile and give each other a warm fuzzy and a hug. people started to visit the town again, and the villagers were able to make money selling their goods to the visitors. Then one unusually gloomy day, another stranger came into the town.
shopkeeper: that will cost you two chickens and a pound of cheese.
child: duh dad!! he like paid already!
shopkeeper: oops, sorry bout that. would you like paper or plastic.
stranger 2: what you smilin about?
shopkeeper: why shouldn't i smile? it's be-you-it-ful out.
stranger 2: no it's not, it's raining.
shopkeeper: it's beautiful rain.
vstranger 2: uhh.. yeah.
shopkeeper: (goes to give warm fuzzy to stranger) here you go, have a nice day.
vstranger 2: what are you doing?
shopkeeper: i was giving you a warm fuzzy.
child: yeah, duh!
stranger 2: don't you know what that is?
shopkeeper: well, not really. i mean, one day this stranger came into the store, and he gave it to me and it was warm and it was fuzzy, so i decided to call it....
stranger 2: (interrupting) what i mean is, don't you know how valuable that is?? people don't just go around giving them away.
shopkeeper: well, why not. i got a whole bunch of them and....
stranger 2: (interrupting again) you may have a lot of them now, but what if you were to run out?
child: (grabs brain as if it hurts to think) run out! dud, that would be a major bummer!
shopkeeper: I, I just don;t think that's gonna happen sir.
stranger 2: (ominously) my friend, i would not be so sure of that if I were you. I've seen it happen. don't say that I didn't warn you.
child: ohmigoodness! I have got to tell jen!!!
(child runs out of store. tells people.)
narrator: as the word of what the stranger had said about the warm fuzzies spread through the town, the villagers became worried. their closets were full of warm fuzzies, but would that be enough to last them forever? So they stopped giving the warm fuzzies away to everyone they met. They started to share them only with their closest friends and family. sometimes they wouldn't give the warm fuzzies to their friend every time they saw them, but every other time, or every week. And wouldn't you know it, as time went by, the warm fuzzies started to disappear. people who had closets full of them, found their closets half empty. people who left them in their car returned to find them gone, or even worse, stolen. even children who left them in their piggy banks found that they had disappeared. People bought, sold and even stole them from each other. More and more warm fuzzies were disappearing until finally, the only one left was the one that the shopkeeper gave to his wife every morning, and his wife gave to him afterwards. with the warm fuzzies gone, the town of Grumpenhagen stopped being such a nice place to live. in fact, it seemed even worse than before, because the people knew what it could be like when things were good. the gates to the city were closed again, and people stopped smiling. for a long time it was like this, until, one day, the stranger returned.
(stranger comes in whistling a happy tune. wanders around being happy for a while. gets his purchases and goes to pay. when he pays the man, he reaches into his pocket and gives him a warm fuzzy.)
shopkeeper: whatcha doing?
stranger: i was giving you a warm fuzzy.
child: yeah, duh!
shopkeeper: don't you know what that there thing is?
stranger: don't you?
shopkeeper: well of course! it's a warm fuzzy! but why are you giving it to me??? aren't you afraid that you'll run out??!!
stranger: (suddenly realizing what was going on.) you don't remember me, do you.
shopkeeper: (boasting) why of course i.... (sees stranger giving him a "look" and is suddenly sheepish.) ... um, i mean, no.
stranger: i came in here a while ago, and was the first to give you a warm fuzzy.
shopkeeper: (smacks self in forehead loudly) oooooh!!! (gets excited, grabs strangers hand and starts shaking vigorously) how you been buddy??!! (gives stranger a big bear hug.) oh i missed you!
stranger: (with sarcasm) I'll take that to mean that you remember me now. (suddenly seriously) what happened here. where are all the warm fuzzies i gave you? (coyly) you didn't, by any chance, stop giving them away, did you?
shopkeeper: (looks down, scuffs toe in dirt) well, um, (looks up to explain) well, not at first, i just stopped giving them everybody. then, when i started running out, i gave them to only a few people. then, i had even less, so i only started giving them to my wife, and now, i just have this one here, and that's all!
stranger: that would be a yes, then?
shopkeeper: (looks down sheepishly again) yes.
stranger: the only way to keep warm fuzzies is to give them away. why, because i have shared so many, i have tons of them left at home.
shopkeeper: (kramer type startle) you do??? why, i know a place where they'll give you fifty bucks and a first-born goat for one of those!
stranger: then what would they be worth? warm fuzzies are just a way to tell people that you love them. you can't sell that. now here, take this warm fuzzy, and remember what it really is; then you will never run out of them again. submissions always welcome, encouraged, and recieved with happiness. mail me directly.
