Once upon a time I decided I'd try to explain my ideas about insanity, both generally, and as pertained to myself. That didn't work out as well as I'd hoped, and in any event, I would have had to change it eventually anyway, as some of my ideas have changed just a tad, particularly pertaining to myself.

I shall now attempt anew to write something up that might be slightly clear and come close to capturing my true feelings.

Insanity Generally

Generally, I think insanity is a very complicated matter. There are good sorts of insanity, and bad sorts, both of varying levels of intensity. There are grey areas which have their good and bad aspects both. There may well be an area exactly in between good and bad; that is, neutral, neither good nor bad.

And each of these varieties has sub-varieties, that is, ummm... ways in which someone is insane, symptoms, behaviors, beliefs, that sort of thing. And of course, just about everything one could possibly say about insanity of any sort, is pretty much subjective. Different people can have different opinions, and not be wrong.

I should like to include here a passage (or a few snippets thereof) from a letter I once received from a friend, with whom I agree:

"...My problem with psychiatry in general and psycho-active drugs has always been this; no-one knows how the human mind works. Not the chemistry and not the psychology. All they have are guesses, and I wouldn't trust my well-being to a stranger's guess...

"...I just want to be able to laugh when the jokes are funny, cry when I hurt myself, and wince at Kafka. Prozac makes everything too happy and shiny and it pisses me off. Being able to motivate myself to get up off the floor is nice too."

Also I should like to say this:
It seems to me that many, if not most, if not all (and probably not all, I'll admit) artists of any sort are and/or can be insane to a higher degree than most other people. I think everyone has some degree of insanity in them. I think artists tend to have a higher degree than most. I think art is a form of insanity. Art is also essential to intelligent life, as essential as food, water, air, shelter, etc. Life, quite simply, would not be worth living without art. Perhaps some people have a limited concept/definition of just what is art. I have a very broad concept of art. My favorite kinds are writing, music, and acting. Of course, of these, the only one I do myself is writing, but I enjoy the art of others a great deal. And perhaps I'd like to try some acting someday. I'd like to sing and/or play music, but perhaps I'm not so confident I could do a passable job at it as I believe I might be able to do with acting.

In addition to the three types of art I've already mention, there are countless others. Among them: dancing, painting, drawing, sculpting, woodworking, figure skating, cooking, fashion design, architecture, not killing yourself, calligraphy, debate, murder, destruction, pepper boy, killing yourself, comedy... the list goes on and on. Feel free to suggest others. Even conversation and letter writing are arts. Romance is an art. So many things... if all the world's a stage, then Life itself is art...

When you think of just how many things are art, then try to imagine a world without any of these things, can you seriously tell me you'd want to live in such a world? If so, it is my personal belief that you are plagued by a very, very dark sort of insanity. Why, just think of how many genres and subgenres there are within many of the things I've mentioned. How many different styles of music and literature and acting...

There is Reality. That is what the Multiverse started with. Soon came sentient life, and then... storytelling. Drawing. Music. Dancing. As time went on, art became more and more advanced and multi-faceted. And so, Unreality grew. It grew because people enjoyed it, and it didn't even occur to them to try living without it. It is as I say, essential. Reality and Unreality need each other to endure. It is a symbiotic relationship, a balance like that between darkness and light, good and evil, chaos and order, yin and yang etc etc etc. Indeed, sanity and insanity.

Obviously, everyone is capable of performing/creating the simpler forms or art. But others belong to artists, who have an instinctive need to create art. I can of course only really speak for myself, but I would rather die than not write. I do not choose to write, I write because I am a writer. It is an intrinsic part of who I am, as much as my species, my gender, my race, my religious beliefs, or anything else you can think of. And artists can create art because they have a special window into Unreality. Whether they are full-consciously aware of it or not, they can see into Unreality better than can non-artists, and they have to share their vision, for those less fortunate.

Of course, Reality represents sanity in a way, and Unreality insanity. There is some mixing, some crossing over. Some things about Reality are clearly insane, some things about Unreality are really quite sane. Still, these are exceptions that prove the rule. (I've never quite understood how exceptions prove rules, but at least, let us say, there are exceptions to rules.) Since artists have a window onto Unreality, since they are perhaps often more comfortable with it than with Reality, they have a greater degree of insanity about them. Or perhaps they have a window onto Unreality because they have a greater degree of insanity; it is hard to say which. Perhaps a bit of both apply.

Now then, as I say, there are good types of insanity and bad; often, someone may have both varieties. Usually, either type should be used in moderation. But it is probably best to keep a tighter handle on the bad than the good. Some people need to be restrained, treated for their insanity, for their own protection and/or the protection of others. But it is good to understand that a certain degree of insanity is not necessarily such a bad thing, even if it is a dark variety of insanity, as long as it is monitored and controlled by the individual, and used in relative moderation. Especially if the individual is an artist.

I am quite certain that there are other things I could think to say on the matter, but I shall end this for now, as I can't quite think of anything else at the moment. Time now to move on to insanity as it pertains to me