I believe he told me I had schizophrenia. At some point, he said to me that if I didn't take the medication he wanted me to take, I would eventually get to the point where I could be locked up without my consent, or words to that effect. This worried me. So I asked how long it would be, thinking, How many years have I got? And he said perhaps by Christmas. This was maybe a couple months away. And then I lost pretty much any respect for his opinion I might have had left. I knew that that was ridiculous. This just amused the hell out of me. I felt better.

And yet, later, I started worrying again, and my depression grew still worse. And the very idea of insanity, which I'd once cherished so dearly, took on a very bad taste. It scared me to death; it nearly nauseated me. And then- I broke down and admitted to myself that I was in fact sane, and always had been. And I liked that idea. I actually liked it. And I admitted I'd never really believed things I told myself I believed (such as that the computer had intentionally been annoying me). And I began to feel better. And the longer I went without seeing Wyckoff, the better I felt. So I just stopped seeing him altogether; the last time I saw him must have been in winter, probably sometime in January '98, or maybe even December '97. And since then, I've felt better and better and better. I haven't again been anywhere near as depressed as I was in the months before I started seeing him, let alone while I was seeing him. And what mild depression I might sometimes still suffer is far less intense, and I haven't contemplated suicide anything like seriously. And I haven't felt the dark insanity much at all. I can get annoyed at annoying things, but I don't feel the urges I used to have to suppress, to damage or destroy things. Not so much.

...Another thing I should mention about him is that he obviously had some kind of psychosis-generator device thing operating in secret in his office. You go there and you're exposed to the device and over time your mental health grows worse. So, of course, you must keep going to see him. And you keep getting worse. He gets more business, more of your money (for doing the opposite of what he's s'posed to do); and if you stay in his "care" long enough, he'll get to do one of his most favorite things: have you committed against your will.

I'll say one thing for him that you can't say of all evil shrinks out there: he doesn't entirely abuse his power illegally. Some folks'll do things they're not allowed to, if they can manage to get away with it. Have you committed when you're not legally insane, even set you up to look insane. Or other people, cops or judges or whatever the job, they'll abuse power they don't technically have. But him, despite what he does, he won't commit you until you've been made ready. One thing he once said, probably the most treasured statement he left me with, was something to the effect: "Obviously, you're not committable at this time." Prob'ly not an exact quote, but that's basically it. I really think he would've loved to commit me, but he recognized that at that stage, I was not legally insane, and so it was not legally within his power to have me committed. So, he didn't.

...And yet, perhaps most mad docs don't have psychosis-generators or whatever, so they don't have the same luxury this Wyckoff has. Ah well. Thank God for small favors. And intermediate and large favors, and all. Anyway....

There seem to be a great many evil shrinks named Wyckoff (though the name may be spelled differently), to the point I began to think perhaps if your name is Wyckoff, you're just meant to be an evil shrink. So I thought I'd detail as many of them here as I can. (At this point, you may want to return to my self-analysis, if you've come from there.)

Dallas
Years ago, when the show was originally airing, I saw some of it. Not too many seasons, but some, and not every week. But I did see when J.R. had himself checked into an asylum so he could get an inmate there to sign papers giving him control of some voting stock or something. Well, there was an evil shrink there that kept him in and put him on drugs that were turning him into a vegetable, and everything.

And then, around the time I was seeing Dr. Wyckoff, I chanced to watch a little of reruns of Dallas on TNN. And I saw that the evil shrink's name was Wykoff. I even mentioned that once to my Wyckoff, I think....

DS9
In the Deep Space Nine episode "Shadows and Symbols," Sisko had another vision of himself as Benny Russell, first seen in "Far Beyond the Stars." This vision was I believe sent by the pagh-wraiths (or pah-wraiths or however you spell it). He was in an asylum being tormented (writers will recognize his treatment as one of the worst sort of torments imaginable) by an evil shrink named Wyckoff. Coincidence? Well, perhaps. But I have different ideas about coincidence than most people. Might even be more or less the opposite of what most people think. And I happen to be a coincidence mage. However you look at it, it's creepy... but certainly in keeping with the pattern we're establishing here.

unknown
My luv was in a hospital one day. She said... well I don't remember what. I think it was that she thought she heard one of the doctors' name was Wyckoff. Not a psychiatrist, perhaps- and who knows if she's even evil? But if not, she may have missed her calling by thismuch. Hmmm?

Dr. C
Okay, Maybe technically this one doesn't really count, as he's my own invention. Or will be, when I eventually get around to writing the story. You know I have a character, Jax DeSabel, in Star Trek. Well one day, in the course of one of his missions, he'll check into an asylum on a world called Vooworsh. There he shall be held against his will and tormented by an evil shrink called Dr. C. "C" will be his actual last name, that one letter- or that'll be it as translated into Federation Standard. I derive this name from the lack of the letter "c" in the Dallas Wykoff's name. This story will probably be the middle story in a mini-trilogy within a larger series of stories about Jax.

Stanislaus Wyckoff
Okay, this doesn't count either. I think. I happened to be looking through some sci-fi books at a used book store, and this book Lords Temporal, by Joseph H. Delaney, has a character named Wyckoff. I dunno that he's evil, or a shrink, or anything. I haven't read it yet. I just read the name on the back cover. But I did buy it, and I'll make some kind of further report here when I have read it.

Nov. 6, 1999 Okay, I've read it; finished this past week. To begin, Stan Wyckoff is a bum. That was kinda fun. Um, and through an incredible chain of events, he finds himself assuming the personality of this guy who was killed, and heading off into space, helping uncover a plot by the captain of the ship and some others, meeting a minor Lord Temporal, and... stuff. In the end, well, not that I want to spoil it for you or anything, if you care to read the book... but he plans on going off and becoming the most powerful Lord Temporal in the Universe. And surprisingly enough, I don't know how much I'd mind that. Anyway, he's human, and now and again I rather like to root for humanity.

The book, I must say, is rather an interesting psychological study of Wyckoff and of other humans and aliens. And in fact I see some similarties between Wyckoff and myself, though enough differences, too, I guess. Don't know what else to say, just now... So, I'll end...