I love Botany and Botany loves me!

The Many Articles and Facets of Botany

Months ago, I embarked upon a notorious journey in search of articles that dealt with any form of Botany so as to appease those who so desired deep within the realms of their chambered hearts for knowledge of botanical input. But I was deeply and sincerely troubled for I knew not of how to approach this subject without conforming to the everyday confomities of mankind, a blasphemous sin that only rivaled the hating of my beloved St. Louis Cardinals. I searched for hours upon hours to perhaps gain only a small glimpse of just the right angle which would successfully enable me to complete the task at hand but to avoid the conformity of the hated process of delving into the Waterfield Library like most of my peers would be forced to do, or asking my parents to "help" me. Hypocrisy is an awful thing.

Then, like a sudden outburst of lightning from the sky, charging miles upon miles of city blocks, an idea shone itself to me in all of its prudent glory. 'The Internet! The Internet will be your library, the Internet will be your friend!' it seemed to shout at me. For the first time in my whole exciting life, I was genuinely excited! I love Botany and Botany loves me!

The voice was right - I needed to explore the limitless virtues of the Internet. Trotting fluidly into the computer lab, located at precisely at room 204 Faculty Hall, I jumped at the nearest computer (although I had to wait about an hour and a half since the university believes the slightest notion towards accomodating their students with computers is simply absurd) and promptly ventured to the electric library web sight, located at no other place of venue than www.elibrary.com, and tried to find topics that were fascinating in every last aspect of the word. Although I tried not to ponder the exact meaning of fascinated as interpreted by Oxford, I diligently kept my mind on the aforementioned project and studiously went about doing my work.

However, as time passed, I quickly came to the conclusion that I would not be able to finish my articles in the allotted time devoted to its students by the gracious Murray State University (possibly because Murray State feels it necessary to close the computer labs a billion weeks before the finals), so I decided to do the unthinkable and conform to the standards of society and take a ride to Waterfield Library. Upon arriving and entering what I designated as the "Kreb's Cycle" (for no particular reason), I quickly found my last ten articles and called it a day.

In closing, I would like to thank everyone out there who helped me achieve my current and highly esteemed position of botanist and wish them a good day.






Ain't I a stinker?



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