"There is no king who has not had a slave among his ancestors, and no
slave who has not had a king among his." - Helen Keller
"You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live
in torment if you do not trust enough."
-Frank Crane
"Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out."
James Bryant Conant
There once was a king who had a staff of advisors. He noticed
that when things went well they expounded a philosophy of life
that was optimistic, and when things went poorly they expounded
a pessimistic one. He grew tired of this, and he commanded that
they meet and come up with a singular philosophy which he could
live by no matter what fate was befalling him at the time or
else they would be dismissed or worst... So they met for
many days and emerged with the philosophical recommendation...
Whatever joy, winfall, tragedy or sorrow that is upon us at
the moment we should remember "This too shall pass".
Scot Appel "It is almost impossible to
overestimate the unimportance of most things"
"Do not seek to imitate the masters. Instead, seek what the masters sought."
I'm sorry I don't know the origin of that but it reminded me of a native
american saying I heard a long time ago:
The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears.
"My morning sun is the drug that brings me near to the child I've lost
replaced by fear."
New Order, True Faith.
A 22-year resident of Amherst, Joseph Mendleson said he and
>his wife have "generally enjoyed the deer" until this year
>when the shrubbery they destroyed cost $1700 to replace."
Dans la marine shadok, on a un principe : ne jamais regarder ou on
va, mais regarder ou on ne va pas. Parce que ou on va, on le
saura de toute facon quand on y sera arrive.
Pascal Vaillant vaillant@limsi.fr
To let understanding stop at what can be understood
is a high attainment. Those who cannot do it will be
destroyed on the lathe of heaven. -- Chuang Tse XXIII
"When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl."
'Unix soit qui mal y pense' -Unknown
"I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them."
Isaac Asimov
"Profanity is the one language all programmers understand." - anonymous
"LIFE IS AN ILLUSION,BUT AN ILLUSION WE MUST
TAKE SERIOUSLY" - A Huxley
"Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one
thread within it. Whatever we do to the web we do to ourselves. All
things are bound together. All things connect." --- CHIEF SEATTLE
Karil Daniels:
"Every moment we experience on this planet is a gift.
That's why it's called the present."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act
in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some
way obstructed interstate commerce."
J. Edgar Hoover
"When congressman Newt Gingrich was a graduate student at Tulane
University, I baptized him by immersion into the membership of the St.
Charles Avenue Baptist Church. Perhaps I didn't hold him under long
enough."
(The Rev.) G. Avery Lee of New Orleans (FP)
"The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain
occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive."
THOMAS JEFFERSON (1743-1826)
"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay
for a message sent to nobody in particular?" David Sarnoff's associates
in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.
*
"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as
a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us."
Western Union internal memo, 1876. (FP)
"Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things
they don't want, to impress people they don't like". Will Rogers
"Very funny Scotty! Now... BEAM DOWN MY CLOTHES!!!" Capt. Kirk *
"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers." Pablo Picasso *
"Men have become the tools of their tools." Henry David Thoreau *
"Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal."
(Albert Einstein)
"I who will fade like the morning dew." ikkyu *
"It's a dog eat dogfood world." Jon Melusky
"Excuse me for speaking while you're interupting."
James Carville *
"Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice."
Eva Gabor *
"When I pray, I get answers." Pat Robertson
*
"I think way too many people are reading
best sellers." Jon Melusky
"You might say I'm kinda like satan." Charles Manson
"On the whole, human beings want to be good - but not too good - and not quite all the time."
George Orwell *
"Originality is the art of concealing your sources."
Franklin P. Jones *
I'm sure I used to know the whole story behind it, but could someone remind me... Where does the riddle "Why is a raven like a writing desk?" come from, and tell me the story of why there is no answer. Alice was asked this by the Mad Hatter in Alice In Wonderland. It was never intended to have an answer, but eventually Lewis Carroll got so pestered by people asking what the answer was that he said:
'They both emit a few notes, but they are _very_ flat'
or words to that effect. *
"If error is corrected whenever it is recognized as such, the path of error is the path of truth."
Hans Rechenbach
"Vexed sailors curse the rain, for which poor shepherds prayed in vain.
Edmund Waller *
"Get the sensation of sailing!
Stand in an ice-cold shower and tear up $50 bills!
Nancy J. *
"You can always tell a friend : when you've made a fool of yourself,
they don't think you have done a permanent job."
Lawrence J. Peter
"One best friend is better than a whole bunch of friends. Kim, age 11
Benjamin Disraeli (Earl Beaconsfield). 1805-1881
"That earliest shock in one's life which occurs to all of us;
which first makes us think."Chap. v.
To be conscious that you are ignorant is a great step to knowledge.
"I like strain but no pain." Robert Spence
"No moments are ordinary."
Inigo Montoya:
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. "
"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you." Anon.
NEVER WRESTLE A PIG.
You both get dirty, but the pig likes it.
A pig is a jolly companion,
Boar, sow, barrow, or gilt --
A pig is a pal, who'll boost your morale,
Though mountains may topple and tilt.
When they've blackballed, bamboozled, and burned you,
When they've turned on you, Tory and Whig,
Though you may be thrown over by Tabby and Rover,
You'll never go wrong with a pig, a pig,
You'll never go wrong with a pig!
Thomas Pynchon, "Gravity's Rainbow"
"Hide and seek: A game played by adults on ocean cruises."
"Mirrors in hat stores prevent selling hats." Jon Melusky
"A mob can be good and a mob can be bad; usually bad."
"Writing about music is like dancing about architecture."
Thelonius Monk *
The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavner *
"The secret to good self esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they're already met" --Hobbes *
"To free a man of error is to give, not to take away."
"Knowledge that a thing is false is a truth." --Schopenhauer
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?" - Steven Wright
"There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence." - Jeremy S. Anderson
Albert Einstein, when asked to describe radio, replied: "You see, wire
telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New
York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And
radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they
receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat."
"When making public policy decisions about new technologies
for the Government, I think one should ask oneself which technologies would
best strengthen the hand of a police state. Then, do not allow the Government
to deploy those technologies."
Philip Zimmermann
Richard Keith Frazine+SOLVE CALCIAMENTVM DE PEDIBVS TVIS+
+LOCVS ENIM IN QVO STAS TERRA SANCTA EST+
"The Internet grows hyper-bolically, but is usually
described elliptically."
Dr. Internet
"It requires a very unusual mind to undertake the analysis
of the obvious."
(Alfred North Whitehead)
"Ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha"(Mozart)
"The views expressed here do not necessarily
represent my views at any time in the future." Ben's sig
Date: 27 Dec 1995 17:36:26 -0500
Newsgroups: alt.quotations
Subject:Re: Hickisms-the list grows please add yours....
"he can't find his own ass using both hands" is todays winner! Keep up
the good work folks
"Cute as a possum."
"That dog don't hunt."
"Happy as a golpher in soft dirt."
"Hidden in the basement like a crazy aunt."
"Handy as hip pockets on a hog."
"All hat and no cattle."
"Dumber than dirt."
"Older than two trees."
"If ya' cain't run with the big dogs...stay on the porch."
"Like a one-legged man at a butt-kicking contest."
"Like a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs."
"Tighter than bark on a tree."
"Like ugly on an ape."
"Dumb as a box of rocks."
"Ugly as a mud fence."
"Meaner than a snake."
"Crooked as a dog's hind leg."
"Crooked as a barrel of snakes."
"Tough as a boot."
"Like a gnat in a hailstorm."
"Dumb as a box of hammers."
"Quick as a hiccup."
"Beat him like a rented mule."
"Wolverine mean."
"He can't find his own ass using both hands."
"There's not much to be said about the period except
that most writers don't reach it soon enough."
William Zinsser
"A deadline is negative inspiration. Still,
it's better than no inspiration at all."
Rita Mae Brown
"What is the real function, the essential function,
the supreme function of language? Isn't it merely
to convey ideas and emotions?
Mark Twain
PALINDROME I, Madam, I made radio! So I dared! Am I mad, am I?
"I cannot forecast to you the action of Russia. It is a riddle
wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma."
Winston Churchill, broadcast, October 1, 1939
*
"The pessimist complains about the wind;
The optimist expects it to change; The realist adjusts the sails."
WILLIAM ARTHUR WARD
"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the
law."
David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that
he failed to pay his taxes.
"They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits."
Congressman Joe Early (D-Mass) at a press conference to answer
questions about the House Bank Scandal.
"He didn't say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech."
Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush
wasn't following up on his campaign pledge that there would be
no loss of wetlands.
"It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed. They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position."
John Hogan, Commonwealth Edison Supervisor of News Information,
responding to a charge by a Nuclear Regulatory Commission
inspector that two Dresden Nuclear Plant operators were
sleeping on the job.
"I didn't accept it. I received it."
Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to President Reagan,
explaining the $1000 in cash and two watches he was given by
two Japanese journalists after he helped arrange a private
interview for them with First Lady Nancy Reagan.
"I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and members of the Senate."
Vice-President Dan Quayle
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
"Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway."
Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board, on chlordane.
"I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted."
Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining
why we should export toxic wastes to Third World countries.
"The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry inspector."
Knight Ridder News Service dispatch
"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing."
Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head
by a ball in the 1934 World Series.
"I wish that every human life might be pure, transparent freedom."
Simone de Beauvoir
"My work with couples has led me to the stark conclusion that open marriage is the only kind of mature marriage that is healthy and not seriously destructive to the spiritual health and growth of the individual partners."
M. Scott Peck _The Road Less Traveled_ [1978]
"The psychology of adultery has been falsified by conventional
morals, which assume, in monogamous countries, that attraction to one person cannot coexist with a serious affection for another. Everybody knows that this is untrue.
Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)_Marriage and Morals_ [1929]
"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." Anais Nin,
1903-?
"... Any computer equipment, when running correctly, is obsolete."
".Sig? No thanks, I'm trying to quit."
"I don't live in Quebec, nor do I support the policies of that province.
In fact, the only thing that I've done that is remotely French is to
French kiss."
"Life is a one-way ticket... Don't get caught on the wrong flight."
"Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together..."
Carl Zwanzig"
"America is like a melting pot. The scum floats to the top, and the the people on the bottom get burned."
Charlie King.
