senator_ted: Tell me again about that guy you were talking about, O.J.

oj-simpson: Oh, you mean Rusty Gates? Yeah, he used to be a swinger.

senator_ted: Well, I guess I should have known that much from his name.

oj-simpson: Say, did I ever send you that picture of Paula?

senator_ted: You mean the centerfold from Playboy?

oj-simpson: No, I have a more recent shot. I'll send it to you now. Hold on.

senator_ted: Got it, O.J.! But where's she at? Some restaurant?

oj-simpson: Yeah, the Mezzaluna. That was back when she was waiting tables there.

senator_ted: Oh, you mean that place in Brentwood. But Paula--a waitress?

oj-simpson: Yeah, she was helping to raise money for my legal defense fund.

senator_ted: Why would it even occur to a girl like Paula to apply for a job like that?

oj-simpson: Oh, I tipped her off, Ted. I heard that they were down one waiter there.

senator_ted: I suppose a little birdie told you, right, O.J.? You never miss a beat, man!

oj-simpson: Hey, thanks for sending that one. I'd almost forgotten about that shot.

senator_ted: But O.J., I can't figure out why your face looks so funny! What's up?

oj-simpson: F.Lee's fault--he tried some plastic surgery before sending me to Mexico.

senator_ted: I'd say any techniques Dr. Sam Shepherd taught him are long-forgotten!

oj-simpson: That reminds me, did you know that Kato just finished nurse's training?

senator_ted: Kato, was he your house guest who heard things go bump in the night?

oj-simpson: Yeah, I could have killed him for not wearing those ear plugs I gave him.

senator_ted: Now O.J.--- Johnnie doesn't want you to use that expression any more!

oj-simpson: Oh, yeah. But anyway, Kato has been hired by the good Dr. Kevorkian.

senator_ted: Why didn't the Doc just find a nurse who was already living in Michigan?

oj-simpson: Kato will be more efficient, once the patients discover that he is the nurse.

senator_ted: What do you mean by that? So the patient meets Kato, then what?

oj-simpson: Well, maybe that will make them want to get on with it--that much sooner.

senator_ted: Does Kato know why he got the job? The Doc's strategy does make sense!

oj-simpson: As long as he gets to record on the Doc's new label, Kato doesn't care.

senator_ted: You never told me that Kato is musical. What will the disc be called?

oj-simpson: "It's My Party and I'll Die if I Want to!" Oh, and I've seen his new office.

senator_ted: What does it say on his door--"Nurse Kato Kaelin?"

oj-simpson: Not exactly. It reads "Nurse Kato Kaelin, M.D."

senator_ted: Why "nurse" AND "M.D.?" Is he a doctor, too.?

oj-simpson: No, it stands for "Maturity Deficient." You been on this channel before?

senator_ted: No, first time, O.J. But I like their name for it!

oj-simpson: Yeah, it reminds me of that time you gave me some advice about blondes.

senator_ted: Oh, you mean that time I gave you that picture?

oj-simpson: Yeah, but I lost it. It was my favorite one, too!

senator_ted: Well, here, I have a copy of it right in front of me. I'll send it now.

senator_ted: That's it, right? Now, what advice did I give you? Refresh my memory.

oj-simpson: Sometimes blonde bitches stop bothering you, if you do the "right thing!"

senator_ted: Now I realize that you're the kinda guy who takes my advice to heart.

oj-simpson: Well, at least there's one guy left who still listens to you, Ted!

senator_ted: Speaking of blondes, that reminds me--has Joan called you again lately?

oj-simpson: Yeah, but not to worry. I told her that she couldn't borrow my knives.

senator_ted: I guess I owe you, my man, for that one!

****signon: (anonymous has signed on.)

oj-simpson: We've got some company, and there's no telling who this "anonymous" is.

senator_ted: You're right, O.J.! I'd better run a WHOIS. Better to be safe that sorry!

****whois: ANONYMOUS--login name: "e-t@roswell.net"

(Personal details: ANONYMOUS is seeking someone to sponsor an implant party.)

oj-simpson: Hey, I'm outa here, man! This "anonymous" dude sounds dangerous!

senator_ted: Boy, you ain't just whistling Dixie, O.J.

oj-simpson: What's that you say?

senator-ted: I mean---later, brother!

***signoff: (senator_ted has signed off)

***signoff: (oj-simpson has signed off)

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