Guest Book Chat Room

Is your baboon in need of special training? Then look no further than Fump's Baboon Academy which guarantees to have your baboon under contract to make a major new TV series in ONLY three hours.

We would also like our cutomers to know that we provide educational services to gorillas!

Burst with pride when you see him reading the news on your favourite TV station.
Let him graduate in medicine and offer plastic surgery to the beautiful people!

We know your gorrilla can become a major contributory factor in the engrandisment of your income....just listen to George the Gorilla's testimonial...

"Hi! My name's George...and after my three hour course at Fump's I learned how to talk and naturally the film parts swiftly followed. Soon I was was given an important role in Planet Of The Apes as Charlton Heston and after that I never looked back. It was all Presidential campaigns and stand-in roles for Mr Ed, and I loved it!

In the past twenty years I've earned twenty dollars and I owe that all to Fump's!

The only thing I regret is that I can't change the name on my birth certificate because the Zoo closed. I always wanted to be called Sharon and shave my legs...actually I wouldn't mind some advice about that but you'd have to contact Jacqueline first who's the only woman who's ever understood my strange desires...Frankly, I always thought I ought to see someone about it, especially after my agent spent so much time trying to get me to star in the remake of Glen or Glenda because he thought I'd be ideal."

Yes, there's absolutely no doubt about it...if you hanker after TOTAL sucess with your ape you only need visit Fump's Baboon Academy to get that simian sorted out, whatever his sexual inclinations. It's quite clear that only through Fump's will he be able to realise his true potential.

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