What the Hell...?

What the Hell is Going On?

Adam Cossin

      Sometimes I wonder if I really am doing something, or 
merely reacting to a general something that I had no hand in 
creating or stimulating.  I spent six years in the service, and 
now attend college full time, nearing my Associate Degree, and 
plan to continue.  I work as a bartender....basically a nowhere 
job, but it's flexible, exciting (at times) and can be lucrative: 
it pays the rent...So I have this dream, this vision....I do have 
a plan, though I haven't sorted out the details....I expect that 
I'll find myself at a crossroads soon enough, with a chance to 
tender an opportunity to set my sights anew, step off of this 
reliable stepping stone I presently occupy...Oh, the chance...the 
change!  Beginning anything is the hardest part surely.  The 
action of man to commence an intended act for the first time is 
surely the toughest, for any subsequent actions are rather 
reactions to the result of the engineer's first action.  Taking 
this into consideration, I contemplate possible change: man-made 
change...as for the weather, I certainly just react to her.  Man 
has been quite responsible for an awful lot...alot of harm and a 
lot of good.  Whether some of man's creations will result in a 
positive way or not is worth considering, but only time will 
tell.  Everything man-made is measured against either an ideal, 
as in Plato's Forms, and others against what man himself has 
judged to be great.  So who's to judge anyone or anything?  Who's 
to be great and who's to be mediocre?  When anyone calls anyone 
else great or mediocre, it is a judgement based on a reference 
point of what has been construed as such...though no one will 
ever paint a perfect anything, the ideal is there...I have seen 
paintings of such beauty and seeming perfection, a picture that 
has ever detail, harnessing the moment, yet still it is missing 
the life, the energy of the moment in real time.  So, are these 
forms, are these reference points set in stone?  Is Heaven merely 
a reference point for the good, the honest, the pious?  Is there 
actually a place?  Perhaps a state of mind, then.  But, do we 
then transcend life upon death?  Do we actually continue on, 
conscious of "life" after death?  Do we become an electron 
revolving haphazardly about the nucleus of an atom?  Do we have a 
new function at all?...Everything around us has life in it.  
Everywhere around us is energy...

	Okay, so, when do we, individually, allow change?  Can we 
cause change at all?  If so, when do we initiate it?  What is it 
about the concept of change that we often fear so much?  What's 
the phobia for fear of change?  At any rate, the purpose of life, 
as best I can surmise, is simply to live life and to reproduce, 
in order that the species survives.  We can understand that, but 
it remains an instinct, no less than our ability to perform all 
the functions necessary to life, without so much as thinking 
about it.  When you really consider it, every life form is 
beautiful: just packed full of millions of cells all busy running 
the show and fighting off foreign bodies harmful to the 
machine...Well, simply living was always so easy.  Fortunately, 
perhaps, for humans, life is rather simple to live.  Well, at 
least when one is born in America!  What other place is there?  
Exactly, sometimes we Americans forget this place has 
boundries...
	
	Getting back on track, if that is possible know that I've 
probably made you dumber, the purpose of life being to live it, 
the question of how to live it appears.  I think we have agreed, 
for the most part, on a fairly humane standard for living: i.e., 
moral codes and ethics.  We have reference point ideals for what 
happens to bad people, and what lay in store for the good.  What 
happens when these ideals become replaced, or, more likely, razed 
entirely?  I'm being a bit ethnocentric, I admit, but what I hope 
to establish with an American perspective.  Our society truly is 
a jambalaya of every culture.  We've got the European meat, a 
dash of this, a pinch of that...I don't mean to make light of 
anything, but the point is, Americans have the unique privalege 
of learning about every culture past and present right here in 
our homeland.  We can afford to travel abroad and witness the 
world for ourselves, and with television at our easy access, we 
can tune into broadcasts from every corner of the earth, and even 
outer space.  We've got quite an advantage over those members of 
a few generations ago.  Consider what kind of world our grandkids 
and great-grandchildren might perceive.   SOme cultures have odd, 
eccentric customs, traditions and mores, but who's to admit that 
they are of a finer quality than any other?  Who's god is the 
real one?  Who has dibs on what?  My philosophy teacher used to 
say, "the best argument wins".  I'll buy that, of course man gets 
violent now and again.  What turns man against himself must 
either be fear, intimidation or manifest greed, or a combination 
of both.  The most contented people always seem to be the people 
being taken advantage of, overcoming that treatment, and adapting 
to the result.  And what about doing what is construed as 
"right"?  Oftentimes, there doesn't appear to be a pay-off.  
Well, perhaps lack of worry is good enough.  I get a kind of 
pleasure out of being good, despite the truth in good guys 
finishing last...I like to say I'm not a loser, because I haven't 
quit yet, but maybe that just helps justify my situation.  It's 
about facing challenges.  I've been told that challenges help 
make the man, that he who has courage in the face of adversity 
and stands his ground, regardless of the consequences, was a true 
man.  Man surely creates, or at least, he takes existing 
resources and fashions them to be something useful, and also 
pleasant, as with music.  Sure, all the sounds we've ever made 
exist in some form or another, but we take soundbites and make 
music.  We've created languages, in order that we can communicate 
with one another.  We've come a long way from cave dwelling and 
the quest for fire.  

	So we have morals and we have ethics.  Having learned and 
comprehending these morals and ethics, man can at least avoid 
wrong doing, to a certain extent: man can know his limitations.  
Let's just say we agree with the meat of them.  He won't be a 
threat, or of any harm to another.  So, what does he do, then?  
Does he do as his environment suggests, or as his father before 
him did?  Or does he go with his gut, his heart, and do what he 
thinks will offer him the most satisfactory life?  There are an 
awful lot of factors to consider, and most often, nearly as many 
compromises, if compromising is tolerated.  It'd be tough never 
to compromise.  So, under individually unique circumstances, what 
seperates the "great" from the "unknown"?  The action, I guess.  
Some men take a chance, and others do not.  It is not a matter 
of what choice was better, but rather how the resulting life was 
lived.  Aren't we all much better at what we're doing when we're 
competing against another, hence, challenged?  That is natural.  
That is nature.  Nature is competitive.  Lest we forget, we are a 
species of animal life on this planet.  We have excelled above 
and beyond our peers.  That is all.  It is a contest.  The winner 
either conquers his adversary or finds a way to live among it, 
tolerate it.  But how much tolerance is too much, however 
seemingly honorable an act of tolerance is?  When have we, as the 
kings of the food chain tolerated too much from our peers and 
fellow species?  
	Wars over points of view have been waged, and hate 
lingers concerning the acts of some men.  Would a world wide 
community of cultures be a chance worth taking, when you consider 
your life, or would that be asking too much?  When one considers 
how cultures seem to coagulate even after being taken out of 
their natural habitat, and how well humans are capable of 
adapting to new environments, or changes in their present 
environments, you'd suspect that humans will always survive, that 
life will go on.  For obvious reasons, a world wide community is 
still a concept, but it is conceivable.  America is a fair 
representation of a world wide community, and based on it, 
perhaps cultures should keep to themselves, keep their defenses 
up and safeguard their own unique species among the whole 
species.  Are we humans territorial?  Are we really social 
animals, as Aristotle suggested?  Who could ever lead our motley 
bunch?  Who would want to?  Why anyone wants to spend their lives 
mending others is beyond me, except when I consider that it is 
those people who either help us or hurt us the most: I can't 
decide...People interested in the survival of our species and 
protection of our environment can rule, they'd be the most 
logical for the job...I look forward to a philosopher ruler, one 
who is committed to not only survival of the species and the 
environment, but also seeks life beyond our planet in order to 
find out WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!

	What's to do?  How do I want to live my life?  I treat 
others around me with respect.  I trust many of them.  I call 
some of them friends and am genuinely concerned for their well 
being.  Though seemingly a practioner of Stoicism, I have 
considerable emotions.  I'm not always picking daisy's in the 
splendorous green grass on the bright, sunny side of the road.  I 
like to think I'm on the right track, though.  The opportunity to 
take a chance offers both fear and excitement.  Plans are man 
made chances for change.  Plans are well thought out (let's 
hope!) and seek pleasure.  We all make pleasure plans, they're 
good.  It's good to get out, feel alive, leave your inhibitions 
at the door...We like to explore our surrounding and our selves. 
We're a curious animal.  Do what it is you feel you've got to 
do, else you'll be sure to regret not having done it.  I read a 
poem called "The Fiddler" when I was young.  At the end, the 
author, dying, proclaimed that he regretted nothing.  That has 
stayed with me.  I don't believe in spirits, I believe in energy. 
 Energy is life.

	Taking the main themes, then, does man create history, or 
does history make the man?  It's about choices and chances, which 
work for change.  One uy decides to pursue his interests and is 
discovered and loved by millions, his creation immortalizing him, 
while another is known but to a few, and gound quite mediocre and 
unnecessary.  What's it mean, then, to be worthless?  How can a 
man be ridiculed in his own day by his own peers, and found 
fascinating, a sage, deep and brilliant by a later generation?  
Man has developed all these reference points to measure 
greatness.  Are these reference points too absolute?  Did people 
just consider whatever pleasured them ro seemed beautiful to them 
as great?  Sure, there is aesthetic value in a creation, or an 
outstanding achievement in an act or series of acts, and there is 
also the character of the person.  The character of the person 
oftentimes weighs heaviest with me.  I might recognize an 
achievement by another as great, or better than I could ever do, 
but if I don't care for the character of the person, I 
little care for them.  So, then, how does one come to developing 
a fine character, an honorable, modest character?  Perhaps values 
help, balues based on age old wisdom, values that have stook the 
test of time.  Granted, man can be ignorant about something once, 
but surely not twice.  When man discovers that a particular 
culture has some worthy qualities of discipline, why does he not 
recognize that more profoundly?  We've gotten stubborn.  We've 
gotten greedy.  Folks, we need to loosen up.  Open doors for 
ladies, say excuse me when we're pushing our way through a crowd. 
Let's not be in such a hurry to get somewhere sooner than is 
reasonable.  We need to incorporate an introduction to critical 
thinking for kids before they graduate from high school, it 
couldn't hurt.  Knowledge is power, and anyone who can learn to 
learn for themselves has a better chance of living a fuller life. 
 Of course, there is truth is the words of Ecclesiastes, who 
suggested that, "in much wisdom there is much sorrow, and he who 
increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow".  What will destroy our 
species is not using our brains.  Mankind discovered his own 
thoughts, established mathematics to better understand and 
explain phenomena.  Mankind founded society when he could afford 
to have people that just sat around and thought about life and 
its nature, its behaviour.  He was able to predict action, to a 
certain extent, based on his observations of the natural world.  
As societies grew, man's creations made life easier to endure.  
We've grown quite accustomed to a fairly leisurely life.  We've 
got an awful lot of devices. We can do so much more with our time 
than those living a hundred years ago could.  Heck, we live like 
kings!!  Better than kings, with all our devices...Are we at the 
apex of our reign?  Isn't man capable of more?  What  we need to 
be is a world dedicated to finding out WHAT THE HELL IS GOING 
ON!!
	
	You know what, we'll be betting on if there is god or 
not.  We're a motley bunch, but there is life to be lived and I 
think most of us recognize that...I want to be one of those guys 
that finds something seemingly insignificant that helps to 
explain what's going on.  A dear friend of mine has a habit of 
saying that one should do something, even if it's wrong.  Well, 
perhaps not just anything, I reply, but he's right.  Do 
something, take a chance.  If nothing else, it will still shape 
your life, give it some fabric, and you won't regret that you did 
nothing.  Have something to do.  Seeing as you've got to do 
something, then, make it something you enjoy, not something you 
simply tolerate.  Work to live, especially when that work you do 
is a reflection of your life and a reason for your life.  Strive 
to discover fresh, new ideas.  Search for natures subtle secrets. 
Be a role model for yourself, someone you'd emulate.  What seems 
to be important is what people wnat to know.  We each are critics 
of ourselves and of our environments, and well we should be.  
Observe what's going on, think before you act or speak.  
Regardless of whether you take chances or not, regardless of 
whether your efforts are perceived by your peers as great or not, 
it is the character which will be inevitalbly measured and 
judged.  Judgement day comes, and on that day, one is exposed 
before their peers.  Be able to defend yourself, your actions.  
Be able to applaud yourself.

		I don't know, I'm just trying to find out for 
myself.  The more I live, the more I learn, the more I learn, the 
more I seem to think that it is the nature of the life lived that 
is the most important aspect of life.  I don't need to live in 
the past or in the future, I simply want to enjoy the present for 
what it is worth.  I am Adam Cossin.     

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