In case it wasn’t evident from the title of this issue, our featured
senior is... Sarah Ames.
Sarah is the red-haired girl who wanted to know where her wallet was.
She produced the Children’s Play and will assistant stage manage Camelot.
Sarah is captain of the CHS Color Guard, and performed in London’s New
Years Parade with the CHS Marching Band. Sarah also plays the clarinet.
Does anyone know where Sarah’s wallet is?
Queen of "dunsing," she has made some memorable ones. To quote:
"Craig, can I borrow some markers to make a piece of
paper?"
"There’s still hair in my hairspray."
Although often found in the Band Room, Sarah Ames does actually
occasionally have classes. She is one of the last of the "students with
multiple free periods," a dying breed that will soon become extinct.
Has anyone seen her wallet?
Sarah also serves on the CHS Theatre Guild Board. Although she doesn’t
act, Sarah is responsible for a huge percent of the production work that
goes into the shows, and works hard on making sure the "little things"
occur, like numbering 600 tickets, guarding the cash box, and other
practical matters.
You know, her wallet had important things in it, like her license,
money, and Theatre Guild receipts, which Mr. Chew needs.
Okay, just in case the reader is confused as to the mention of her
wallet, we have a funny anecdote to relate about Sarah. You see, around the
time of production of the Children’s Play, Sarah Ames lost her wallet. Until
she found it, every speech of hers to the Theatre Guild was preceded with
"Has anyone seen my wallet?" The necessity of finding it was emphasized,
because it contained receipts of T.G. expenses. It has been found.
Sarah Ames has these bell-bottom pants, and they are plaid lime green
with yellow and orange, and large flowers on them. A poll was taken, as to
whether or not they were hideous. The results were 79% to 21%. I will allow
the reader to guess which number corresponds to the vote of being
hideous.
It has come to my attention that there has been a recent scandal
involving one Ms. Sarah Ames. It seems that she was using one of her free
periods to watch "The Price Is Right" on the Band Room TV. Out of nowhere
appeared an angry man. Mr. Marc "Goober" Keroack, Fine Arts Department Head
and "Da Man" of Marching Band decreed that Sarah and her accomplices should
not be in his Band Room watching such a show. With a guilty glazed look in
her eyes, she stood up and left the Band Room, turning at the doorway before
exiting. Her final comment to Mr. K: "Help control the pet population.
Remember to have your pets spayed or neutered."
