At the Absence

intertwined
the limbs recall themselves
muscles jump and give
like living things
hyperactive furless pinks I want to rip
by dark stained fingernails release
the scrambling breaks of you
horde them
you
into me

hands and ankles numb
shaken past discernible movement
there is sobbing
caught between my lungs
and stomach taut and angry

I do not get hungry

elaborate
am not
can not
will not

feel

your foreign
loveliness in the dark
bleeds me
raw and gasping
eyes are wide
fingers arched
denying the tips

god I want this
to be real

calculated I am fasting
have ever been fasting

my so interesting heartbeats
wax and wane
deny and acknowledge
with reeling breaths
you remind me where you are

hate who somehow
justified

and as you cried
I opened
and caught a curl
coarse and salt between my teeth
held silent
let the temors pass from lips to lower
so as not to disturb you
shake where no one is to touch

there has never been
a mouth
a frame before I lay
my arms into you

I want
to love you

transfixed my pulse to words shifts
ridiculous hateful phrase fighting
after all the doesnÕt matters
desire for more than desire
more than denied

to know you

I am
terrified
at the absence
of fear

copyright 1996 Ginger Pierce Davis