Various Duties

Ginger Pierce Davis

setting: Jenny and JeremyÕs kitchen, there are a table and three chairs

JENNY: Shut up shut up shut up shut up. Let it go. Forget it. DoesnÕt matter. EverythingÕs fine. Every thing is fine. DonÕt think about it. DonÕt think. Everything is fine. Fine fine fine fine fine fine fine. Oh god, I didnÕt. Stop it. Shut up Jenny. Pardon me, Mr. James my only boss in the world but how would you like your coffee today? How about, oh, I donÕt know, spilled all over your Armani clad lap by your incompetent temp. Damn it. Oh, Jeremy, how was work today, dear? How was your coffee? How was your secretary? How was your lap? Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up. ItÕs just another job. ItÕs just life. Who cares? I want to go home. Where? Jenny, calm down, nobody cares. IÕll call Jeremy. No, why would I call him? ItÕs not like he wonÕt find out anyway. (picks up phone and dials it) Hello? Teresa, this is Jenny, is Jeremy there? Um-hmm. Yes, well I. It isnÕt really an. Yes, I know. I understand. Okay, bye. (hangs up) Bitch. (starts to cry) Bitch. (picks up phone and dials again) Um, hello? May I speak to Jeremy please? Jeremy Redmond. Please. Oh, I understand. Thank you. (hangs up, pauses a second and picks up the phone again, starts to dial then hangs up) Six times two is twelve. Six times three is eighteen. Six times four is twenty-four. Jeremy is twenty-four. Six times seven hundred and forty-two. Six times office. Six times suits. Six times a secretary. Six times sex. Six times. (picks up phone and dials it) Teresa, why was Jeremy late last night? In fact why was Jeremy late before that? Why isnÕt Jeremy coming home anymore. (panics, hangs up phone) Oh, god. I didnÕt. Oh, god. (phone rings, she watches it, it stops ringing) Oh, god. Oh, no. (phone rings again, she answers it) Hello? Yes. No, I donÕt know what youÕre talking about. I know Jeremy will be home at seven. I know. DonÕt you think I know when my husband is coming home? No. No congratulations. No. HeÕs not. IÕm sorry. I donÕt know why I said that. No, we arenÕt. No. IÕm sorry. I... (hangs up phone then takes is off the hook) Six times eleven is sixty-six. Six times twelve is seventy-two. Six times thirteen is. Six times thirteen. Seventy-two plus thirteen. No, plus six. This is a dream. This is only. (pulls her keys out of her purse and stares at them, rakes them down her forearm) In dreams you canÕt feel. In dreams I feel. In dreams I rip off my skin. I rip it all off and the blood is brown. In dreams. (she rakes her arm with the keys again and sqeezes the scrapes to make them bleed) Not brown. (hangs up phone, it rings, she takes it off the hook again) Fine fine fine fine fine fine fine. EverythingÕs fine. Everything is fine! (starts to cry again) Six times ten. Six times eight. Six times seven. Six times sings. Six times eleven. Everything is fine. Shut up now and everything will be fine. Part of the job sweetheart. Part of the job. ItÕs all just part of the job. (exits, comes back on and gets bag of chips and exits again with them)

(lights down, lights up)

OFFSTAGE VOICE: (knocking on front door) Jenny? Jenny, you home? Jenny, JeremyÕs office called, they wanted me to check on you. Jenny? You, okay? (Jenny, from offstage, throws one of her shoes across the stage so it lands about center) Jenny? (she throws a book across so that it hits the door) Jenny I heard that, IÕm going to assume youÕre alright. IÕm going now. Nobody makes me do this you know, nobodyÕs paying me to look after you, itÕs out of the kindness of my heart. (Jenny throws her other shoe at the door, hard) IÕm going!

(lights down, lights up)

(Jenny wanders into the kitchen with the mostly empty bag of chips, fixes herself a drink with vodka, soda and several drops from a small medicine bottle she gets out of her purse, she eats, drinks and soon jumps up and runs offstage to be sick, she repeats this once more and then does not come back on stage)

(lights down, lights up)

JEREMY: (enters and surveys the scene, kicks aside the book, picks up one shoe and sets it back down) Jenny? Jenny, are you home? Jenny, your carÕs here, I know youÕre home. Jenny? (goes to bathroom door and tries it. its locked.) Jenny, open this door. Jenny!

(opens door and pushes past him.)

JEREMY: Are you okay? Jenny!

JENNY: What?

JEREMY: What were you doing in there?

JENNY: Brushing my teeth. See?

JEREMY: Why didnÕt you answer?

JENNY: Too busy. Scrubbing. (giggles) What do you care? (stumbles)

(catches her by her wrists and sees the marks from her keys)

JEREMY: What the hell? What was it this time, somebody blink at you too hard?

JENNY: Shut up! Leave me alone.

(he picks up bag of chips and glass)

JEREMY: What the hell is this? Did you eat all this? What have you been drinking? Jenny?!

JENNY: (mocking) Jeremy!

JEREMY: I canÕt even leave you alone? What the hell are you doing home, why arenÕt you at work?

JENNY: Why arenÕt you?

JEREMY: IÕm not at work because I got called out of a meeting to find out my girlfriend has been calling my office and sounding like a psychopath and is not answering our door.

JENNY: Who called you? Who called you out? She wouldnÕt call you out when I needed you, when I called! She only calls when I sound stupid, when she can make me look bad.

JEREMY: Oh, and when isnÕt that true?

(Jenny flies at him and beats on him with her fists, he holds her tight so that she is pressed against him and canÕt move)

JENNY: You donÕt even care!

JEREMY: Jenny, I am trying. I am trying to be nice. I am trying to be understanding. I am trying to make some money since I am the only one who can seem to hold a job lately.

JENNY: ItÕs not my fault! You donÕt know!

JEREMY: Not your fault? ItÕs not like youÕre doing anything difficult.

JENNY: How would you know?

JEREMY: Teresa certainly doesnÕt seem to have any problems with it.

JENNY: Oh, she doesnÕt? I bet she does a wonderful job! I bet she just loves it, doesnÕt she? I bet she just hates to go home at night! I bet she just begs to stay late and work harder! DoesnÕt she, Jeremy, doesnÕt she?!

JEREMY: Calm down! What the hell is your problem lately?

JENNY: Part of the job.

JEREMY: The job, thatÕs what started it anyway. Listen, honey, everybody loses jobs, it happens, most people donÕt seem to make a career out of it like you have this month, but it happens. I still donÕt see why you walked out of the first one. You seemed fine before. You were doing great, we got the apartment, you got the good job, you got your car, everything was fine. Right?

JENNY: We got the apartment, I got the good job, I got my car, everything was fine.

JEREMY: So you leave one job and everything goes to hell, you canÕt keep another, you canÕt keep a hold of yourself, you canÕt do anything! How the hell am I supposed to look after you acting like a teenage brat and bring in enough money to afford this place, out food, your car? I do not have time for this, Jenny. I do not have time to jeopardize my job for your escapades. For that matter, Teresa does not have time to deal with you calling while sheÕs trying to do her job for me.

JENNY: WhatÕs she do for you, huh? WhatÕs she do?

JEREMY: Christ, Jenny, sheÕs my secretary! What the hell?

JENNY: Part of the job, huh? EverythingÕs part of the job?

JEREMY: Go to bed, Jenny.

JENNY: Why?

JEREMY: I said, go to bed! YouÕre hysterical and youÕre probably drunk and I have to go back to work.

JENNY: You didnÕt even come home to stay with me, you didnÕt even really leave, youÕre on your lunch arenÕt you? You didnÕt even care enough to leave!

JEREMY: I will deal with you when I get home, now go to bed!

JENNY: Deal with me? Deal with me!

(she runs at Jeremy, he picks her up and carries her offstage, door slamming, he crosses back alone and exits out front door)

(lights down, lights up)

JENNY: (under the table, holding the book sheÕd thrown earlier but not reading from it) Once upon a time. Twice upon a time. Thrice upon a time. Everything was fine. Everything is fine! (begins ripping pages out of the book and placing them in a neat pile next to her) Oh yes honey, youÕll just love it here. Mr. Patterson is so nice, heÕs quite the gentleman, a real ladies man. YouÕll be filing. Word processing. Taking calls. Taking messages. Making coffee. Various duties. YouÕll have various duties. Eight dollars an hour, starting. Good job for you dear, so young, such a nice job. With various duties. Does Teresa have various duties, Jeremy? Does she?

(lights down, lights up)

JEREMY: (enters with flowers, one of which is a rose, and sets them on the table) Jenny? Sweetheart? Where are you? Honey? (Jenny enters slowly and stands a few feet away) How are you doing? Better? Sweetie, IÕm sorry about this morning, I was worried. Teresa said you were incoherent, she said she called and asked Mrs. Mitchell next door to check on you and that you wouldnÕt answer the door. Things are extremely stressful for me right now, okay? We were counting on the money from your job, remember? IÕm trying to carry two loads right now and youÕre not making things very easy. (Jenny crosses to flowers and begins to touch them) I didnÕt mean to yell at you. IÕm not like that, you know that. I didnÕt mean to hurt you or anything. Jenny, are you listening to me? Jenny, IÕve been thinking, maybe this secretary thing just isnÕt for you. Maybe we picked the wrong job. Do you think so honey? (Jenny begins pulling the petals off of the roses one by one) I mean, most of your friends are in school, or still living at home, I forget things are different for you. Teresa said you sounded exhausted, perhaps youÕre ill or something. Maybe I didnÕt realize your jobs are stressful, it takes a lot of patience to be a secretary, I know that, it requires a great deal of skill. (Jenny rips off a handful of petals) Jenny! What are you doing? What the hell do I have to do to get through to you? I am doing my best here and I donÕt know what your problem is but IÕm sick of it! Jenny, honey, sweetheart, come here, IÕm sorry things have been so awful lately. (puts his arms around her, tries to kiss her mouth but she turns)

JENNY: YouÕre late.

JEREMY: A little, yes.

JENNY: Why are you late?

JEREMY: I was picking up the flowers, honey. On my way home.

JENNY: Did you pick them out yourself.

JEREMY: Well, yes. Or not exactly, but I thought of them.

JENNY: Who picked them out?

JEREMY: Jenny...

JENNY: Who picked out the flowers?

JEREMY: Jenny, I asked Teresa to order me some flowers to pick up on my way home from work, I asked her as soon as I got back from lunch.

JENNY: Why did she do it.

JEREMY: Jenny, itÕs part of her job.

JENNY: Why?

JEREMY: I suppose because I asked her to, sheÕs my secretary, if I ask her to do things she does them, thatÕs part of her job.

JENNY: Part of her job? Her various duties?

JEREMY: I suppose so, but honey I wanted to give you the flowers, it was my idea because I was sorry, I am sorry, for how I acted this morning and I wanted to give you something nice, something that might cheer you up a bit, make you feel better.

JENNY: (tips vase over) I feel better.

JEREMY: (trying to mop up the spill and fix the flowers) Jenny! I have had just about enough of this. Now will you please tell me what is bothering you, instead of acting like a spoiled child or a lunatic!

JENNY: Everything is fine. (clenches a rose stem in her fist, leting the thorns dig in)

JEREMY: Stop saying that! Jenny, what are you doing? Why do you do things like that? (takes rose from her, wipes her hand with his shirt) What has happened to you, you never used to be like this. (holding her) Jenny, I love you, I donÕt want things to be this way, do you? Can we stop this nonsense please? Can we start over? (he begins to kiss her and she jerks away) Jenny, come on, itÕs been weeks! IÕve been being very patient, here!

JENNY: So? So what? Are you threatening? Why do you need me? What do you need me for?

JEREMY: WhatÕs that supposed to mean?

JENNY: ItÕs not part of my job! YouÕre not my job!

JEREMY: What the hell are you talking about?

JENNY: Why do you want me? Why arenÕt you with her, why arenÕt you at work?

JEREMY: With who?

JENNY: With her! At work?

JEREMY: At work? With who, Teresa? Jenny, what the hell are you talking about? IÕve never put a hand on Teresa!

JENNY: What about her job? What about her various duties?

JEREMY: Like what? Ordering flowers? What kind of a place do you think I work? SheÕs just my secretary.

JENNY: Yes, exactly, sheÕs your secretary.

JEREMY: So?

JENNY: (sobbing) SheÕs your secretary!

JEREMY: Jenny, honey, no where in the job description is she required... (deadly serious) Oh. Oh, god. Oh, honey, no. No one... Did? (she is on the floor, he sits with her and gathers her to him) Oh, god.

JENNY: (crying) He said it was all part of the job, various duties and everything would be fine, everythingÕs fine, everythingÕs fine.

(lights fade out)