IÕm not sure what the participants of this workshop were initially expecting. My style is very informal and colloquial, because I donÕt think that a formal environment is one in which we feel safe enough to express ourselves in the ways and with the abandon that I hoped to get from everyone in this workshop.
The tone was set as very relaxed and supportive early on in my introduction. I chose to begin with everyone in a circle on the dance floor, sitting or lying as they felt comfortable. I read the objectives and the outlined schedule so that there would be no terrifying surprises and discussed how strongly I feel about creative expression as a form of therapy and a tool to better understand, express and live with ourselves. I then answered any questions that they had, which were few at the time, and just began a colloquial discussion on the issues I had just raised.
Most of the women attenting the workshop knew each other at least by face, so most of this game was very lighthearted and colloquial. Everyone seemed a little nervous about being there and the silliness of the gestures and the slightly clumsy spinning and pointing broke the ice between many of us. This spinning and gesturing functioned as a very slow and nonthreatening beginning to movement and physical contact
EvaÕs pulse was in her uterus and she was correct in where she thought the perimeters of her body were. Sunshine easily relaxed but while scanning realized that she did not feel any of her body between her thighs and shoulders. Rayna thought her perimeters were almost a foot further out than they were when she opened her eyes. Kristen felt like her hands were going through the floor when she first began to move. DonnaÕs pulse was in her left thigh and when scanning she felt a vague tingling in her body from the neck down but was otherwise unable to find her perimeters. Most everyone, including myself, found this meditation to be a novel experience since the meditations we were used to were more about losing that sense of body awareness. I limited the session to twenty minutes for timeÕs sake, but the others were excited and wanted to continue or repeat what we had done.
Rayna seemed to be extremely encouraged by the opportunity to assist with this section of the workshop. Since she did not know most of the participants in the workshop or feel comfortable with them or herself, I believe that helping to lead this section was one of the most valuable aspects of the workshop for her and for the rest of us as well. I put a great deal of emphasis on group interaction as opposed to lecture of single leading. I thought that this would make for a more comfortable enviroment for everyone but this shift of responsibility seemed to panic a few of the others. They really seemed to want to have one person in charge, telling them what to do instead of just encouring the ideas they had. This section seemed much more comfortable, because there was one person giving explicit instructions, Rayna, while I mediated and narrated. We began with a few single massages, working alone, but quickly began to partner up and then sort of spontaneously merge groups and techniques. I was very interested to note that we seemed more willing and comfortable to work with each otherÕs bodies than to consentrate on massaging and learning how to massage our own.
This went MUCH faster than I ever expected. I had originally thought that we would only get as far as the circle lean, but many of the participants were familiar and comfortable with climbing and lifts and we were able to ÒflyÓ several of them. The group was quick to respond and remained very aware of each other, constanly communicating with each other and giving moral as well as physical support to the climber. Kali was very helpful in explaining the principles and safety issues we had studied in Adventure Activities and took on a spotting role for most of the exercise. Donna and Sunshine experienced their first lifts and were very excited. Donna had never really been that far off the ground before and she kept asking us to take her up longer and again and again. Kristin and Rayna took charge of the lifting and mediated the placement quite efficiently. Sunshine ÒflewÓ twice, once on her back and once facing forward and Eva was almost able to touch the ceiling. It was a very unexpected and exciting experience for many of the participants and I was kind of reeling in shock that we were able to pull that off so quickly and without any worrisome moments.
Since I found the entire session to be focusing on discussion- spontaneous, planned or as a constant reaction to what was going on- it seems strange to separate this section of the workshop from the continuous discussions. The articles read and topics brought up permeated the afternoon and decided at this point against having a roundtable, formal (or as formal as we would have gotten) discussion as I had planned. Instead I read the articles and spoke a bit on my research and ideas concerning the specific topics and allowed the workshop to move on. This technique allowed for spontaneous discussion during the listening and response session and, by continuing to move along we also continued to talk about the issues raised throughout our activities as they were prompted by our immediate thought and actions.
A few samples of the the drawings we did of our bodies are in this notebook, however most of the participants in the workshop kept their creations. The favorite medium was the play-doh, however, which we couldnÕt save. It was very interesting to notice that most of us sculpted our bodies without our heads, and often withour our hands or feet. I brought up the concept of duality at this observation and most of the others admitted that they had done this without thought and did not regularly consider the mind-body connection question. I also thought it was extremely interesting that most of the sculptures were immediately crushed and put away after showing and that even some of the crayon and marker drawings were ripped or crumpled as soon as attention was off of them. Only one of the poems written in the workshop was shared, the other freewrites went home with their respective creators who chose not to share them.
None of the participants saw themselves as dancers or regularly took time to dance or even consciously experiment with movements. I was most nervous about the movement sections of this workshop and did not expect that most people would be at all comfortable or willing to participate. I was astounded. Watching the video just makes me feel like crying. We were all Òblind,Ó none of us knew where we were or who we were touching and on film all of these bodies just came to life. We began to the celtic music and then at one point began to make our own. We began to sing, speak, beat our feet and our hands and on the floor, creating our music with our bodies. This continued after the song ended and Rayna found the drum in the corner and began to play for us while Donna continued to vocalize and Kali improvised on the piano.
For half an hour this continued. A few of us stayed on the dance floor throughout, all still working blind, while others made music or wrote or drew and watched us. We all alternated mediums and experimented. Kali and Kristen even blew bubbles over the dancers when they got too tired to continue. The connection in the movement improv was wonderful too. Everyone started out and occasionally went back to dancing very separately, but often the dance became collaborative and we experimented with sharing each otherÕs weights and working with our collective body to create movement.
I do not think that if this had been placed some other time in the schedule the level of trust would have been high enough for this to have happened. I also believe that maintaining trust about keeping our eyes closed was important. I donÕt think that this could have occured if we were all beginning with our eyes open, loking at each other and ourselves and knowing that we were also being looked at. I had originally meant to specify a time to open our eyes and keep moving, because I didnÕt think that we would be comfortable working blind for any significant length of time. I had intended it to be a starting point, but it quickly became an integral part of the experience.
While these projects were being finished, I presented an oral interpretation of my favorite sections from Toni MorrisonÕs book, Beloved, emphasizing the importance of self love and acceptance.
Eva sculpted a life-sized play-doh model of her Òhappy uterusÓ and made a small matching fetus with umbilical cord to fit inside (symbolizing her future hopes.)
Kali composed a short piece for the piano, which she performed with our full attention once and continued to play as background music and accompaniment while the others were continuing to work.
Amy not only finished a page long piece of writing, but created a work of visual art with the words, using color and space.
Rayne sculpted another pseudo-image of herself out of playdoh- a small red figure encased in large blue wings.
Kristen sculpted a rose out of red and green play-doh and promptly took out the magic wand and blew soap bubbles on everyone.
Donna finished a two page, two layered, drawing of herself (in the notebook) and read a short poem she had written, which she did not wish to have reproduced here. Sunshine elaborated on her drawings of herself, in crayon, marker and rubber stamps.