To help the average beleaguered fishing crew better understand the eccentric psyche of their screaming Captain, it should be noted that the average Fishing Boat Captain will fall into one of the eight standard categories:
THE CHEERLEADER
"Okay guys, we're out here to win! win! win!"
THE TRADITIONALIST
"Let me make one thing clear: we either win today or I'll be using you as chum tomorrow."
THE TECHNO-BRAT
"Of course, we're going to win today. In addition to the most high-tech fishing gear that my father's money can buy, I've just installed a computer system that provides updated 4-color satellite charts every 15 minutes showing concise water temperatures and currents so that we can best guestimate the most productive fishing spots."
THE REALIST
"In addition to all our high-tech fishing gear, I've taken the liberty of bringing along a healthy supply of dynamite."
MR. BY-THE BOOK
"Look right here on page 47 of The Orvis Guide it says..."
THE DO-IT-MYSELFER
"Today I'll be driving the boat to my favorite fishing holes, choosing the lures we will be using, and offering other helpful tips as the day goes on..."
THE DIRECTOR
"Now I want you all to have your rods at hand from the from the moment we leave the dock, I want us to all look alert and ready, like the skilled fishing team that we are. Tony, I want you to stand stage left, while George you'll..."
And then there's every crews favorite...The Abstentee Captain.
It must be noted at this point that some Captains will fall into more than one category during a day of fishing, depending upon several factors, the most influential of which is the size of the fish that's just taken the bait.
Second Note: A crew mutiny which results in throwing the Captain overboard does not reclassify him as an Absentee Captain. In most states a 7-year wait is required.
c 1996 Sandy Lindsey
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