by Sandy Lindsey
1. Mini frisbees for when things get boring. (Favorite Target: The back of an unsuspecting cubiclemate's head. Mega bonus points are awarded for hitting the target between the eyes while he's looking at you.)
2. Gag disks to be given to the most annoying members of the general staff, with the comment, "Your unauthorized usage of more than your allotted share of network hard drive space significantly reduced the overall network performance speed forcing us to download all your files onto these disks..." Then stand aside a discrete distance and watch them go slowly insane as they try to retrieve their data.
3. Or sometimes we put on a long face and explain that "Due to a minor system malfunction the data on these disks is all that's left of your last three years of hard work." (Again, stand back...)
4. Label the dud disks with highly technical titles and place them in holders beside our actual working disks to make it look as if we've completed much more work than we actually have.
5. Crazy Glue the disks together in a haphazard fashion, say it's a comment on modern societies dependence on machines, and sell the creations as modern art.
6. Place a dead diskette underneath a crotchety co-workers dripping coffee mug while they're out of their office, simultaneously snagging a matching genuine data disk of theirs. Then when they return to their office, follow them and chide them loudly for their abuse of company equipment. (Note: Return of the true data disk is optional and usually hinges on the potential violence level of the joke victim).
7. Put the old diskettes in a new box (be sure to use the same manufacturer) and take them and the receipt for the new box to the store where the company purchased them, complain that they were defective and get a full (personal) refund.
8. Coasters for those cans of soda that keep us functioning through our video game playing days and long into our championship rounds playing -- ahem, I mean, strategic programming session -- nights.
9. Soundproofing material (especially good at dampening video game sounds...or so we've heard).
10. Hull pieces for our room-size Starship Enterprise which we intend to display at the next local Star Trek convention.
c 1997 Sandy Lindsey
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