1. You tried to get your dog to use a condom, but he thought they were chew treats.
2. You're not getting any sex either.
3. You don't want to explain to a snarling German Shepard that pregnant dogs aren't supposed to eat junk food.
4. Human arms and legs begin to look very good to a horny dog.
5. You sleep with your four-legged friends and...(see #4).
6. The cost of raising offspring has risen dramatically and your dog is unemployed.
7. The neighborhood refers to your Beagle as the "Hound of the Boinkervilles."
8. It will stop Fido from wanting to go out on Saturday night "dates" and flaunting that he has a better social life than you do.
9. You don't want your pet slapped with a puppy paternity suit.
10. It's hard enough to find loving homes for all the homeless dogs already out there.
c 1997 Sandy Lindsey
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Since 3/3/97, Sandy has been visited by people in search of a laugh