Sporting Events

She buys you two 50-yard-line tickets to your favorite team: +5

She insists on accompanying you to the game after you offered the second ticket to your best friend: -5

She really gets into the game and shouts at the opposing team in a way that makes you proud: +2

She buys all the official team jewelry that she can find, blowing the family budget and any hope you had of affording season tickets: -20

Beer

She remembers to buy you a case of Budweiser when she goes to the grocery store: +5

But she forgets to put it in the refrigerator to cool: -5

Or she remembers to put it in the refrigerator: +2

But refuses to get you a can when she's in the kitchen and you're stuck in front of the television set, dry mouthed, in the middle of a historic football play: -20

Entertainment

She agrees to see any movie you want: +5

Except that one. It's too violent: -5

Or that one. It's too gorey: -10

Or that one. The line is too long: -15

How about a nice Meryl Streep Movie?: -200

Supportiveness

She patiently listens to you complain for hours about your slave driver boss: +5

She then offers constructive criticism regarding where she felt you went wrong: -5

When she learns that she's hurt you with this criticism, she apologies and tells you to continue with your story: +2

She begins to snore: -20

The Girls

She tells her girlfriends what a wonderful guy you are: +5

Then begins to dissect your sex life with them while you're still in hearing range: -5

She tells her girlfriends that you're the best man she's ever had: +10

Then they all fall on the floor laughing: -20

c 1997 S. Lindsey

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