August 2000
Well, its been a year since I updated this rant page, tho it's not because I
haven't been hacked about anything. Right now the nation is enduring the
political party conventions.....Yike!! What a stupid mindless mutual
admiration society meeting, designed to waste money making nobodies feel
important!!! Anyone with a brain knows the system is broken, they are all
crooks and liars and your vote won't over turn the electoral college anyway!
I hate them both and will not be voting for either one. I do hope someone in the
nation has learned their lesson and will change from voting for a democrat-- who
might end up doffing his assistant on the desk in the oval office, to maybe
voting for someone who has brains enough to know that that might not be a good
idea... Is there anyone running who fits into that category??
Since I don't believe they really count the mass vote anyway....I think its
pretty hopeless. the one with the richest backers and most deceitful
connections will get "elected". Heaven help us all.
July 2 1999
Well, I have discovered another set of stories about the Rice vampires and now I am really ruined. I really feel a sense of disapointment in the stupid, boring people and places that I seem forced to eek out my life with. I am sure there are people who find a way to get themselves out of the "situation" they were born to, but I guess my upbringing never instilled in me the ability to concieve a clever notion of how to do it. Of course a couple hundred thousand would get me started, but only those who have money make more money. And now I am too old to learn a whole new career, to make myself finacially independent.
And so I look around me at the plastic, faux finish world I live in, and I long to have been born in an earlier time, when fathers made their families fortunes and left them to their daughters...who, in turn, married for money, dressed in beautiful silks and lace, had the servants do the cooking, dusting and making of beds, and whose estates filled with finery only kept increasing in value over the years. Today everything keeps getting more and more expensive, until you never have enough money to even keep up the things you have. Can you tell how disillusioned I am??? I have been immersed in an imaginary land of wealth and time and freedom from which I was crueley jerked after only a few hours, to return to this sweaty, concrete land of rednecks, who have never seen a rug made out of anything but nylon. Who have no idea that their bedroom furniture is made of sawdust and glue covered with woodgrained vinyl. Now that my brain is filled with these images and longings, how do I face the dustbin that I must spend my life in ?? Would that there were really time machines and imortality for those who were of a mind to take advantage of them.!!
April, 1999
Well, it has been quite a while since I put anything new on this page...not much has been happening, and so I just let it slide.
My most recent discovery has been THE VAMPIRE CHRONICLES by Anne Rice. If you have read them... then you know.... If you haven't...you are missing it. I can't believe I took so long to discover this!
I never got to see the movie INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE in the theatre...I never could find someone to go to it with, and it got away from me. Then I finally rented it... and man-o-man... what a show! It really peaked my interest in the author. Then a short time ago I picked up THE VAMPIRE LESTAT at a used book sale for 50 cents, and I think I stayed up till 2 am the first night reading it. I couldn't put it down. I am not kidding when I say, that if you haven't read these books because you thought "vampire stories" would be boring cuz you've already seen/read Dracula....then you are missing it...totally. These books are NOT like any vampire story you have read before. Anne has a way of writing that takes you right inside the characters thoughts and feelings. Although they themselves admit they are monsters, they never really lost certain aspects of their "humaness",.... And the beautiful descriptions! of the clothing, the surroundings, the people....you feel as though you are actually there.
I have recently discovered a multitude of sites on the web, and books on the shelves, that are all about the phenomenon of people getting caught up, in every varying degree, in the spirit of the thing. There is a fan club of course and they have a big gathering once a year. I have also read some of the personal messages from Anne to her readers (on the web) and she seems very nice and sincere. And there are books all about her and her life as well.
You might hate them,...you might LOVE them, how much time is there in your life to waste, not taking any risks? You should take the chance....it might only cost you 50 cents....
Jan 1999
This is soo weird... to be in 1999, and next year is 2000!!
When I was younger, the years would pass and there didn't seem to be any significance...1971, 1981 whats the diff, who cares? Yeah everyone always talks about the decades, "the sixties were this" "the eighties were that" but I guess I never really thought about crossing over the 2000 mark. It's a little weird, that's all. Especially thinking about all the "stuff" some people think will happen, with all our lives being run by computers and wondering about the Y2K thing.
But today I'm really thinking about what it will be like to get older. Guess the official passing of another year, combined with having been horrifically sick over the christmas holidays has made me consider it. I coughed so much I think I sprained a rib or something and I can hardly move with out pain.
So today I am considering all the people out there who live with pain everyday, all the time. As I get older and my body starts to break down...will that happen to me? I have already been in pain for a few weeks and have thought more than once that if this were permanent...I don't think living would be worth it. My only hope is that one day soon this pain will heal and go away. How do people go on who live like this all the time??
The are brave, and have something I don't, I guess.
I hate it. It sucks.
And so what does this say about my view of my life?? Pretty boring, going to work 5 days a week doing junk for someone else while my life whizzes by on the calendar. Who are those lucky people who get to "work" doing what they like all the time and are getting paid for it??? what about those of us who can't get paid for the stuff we like to do?? And art is so subjective, who decides whether what you create is worth anything or not??
Can you tell I'm alittle frustrated today??
Is it the result of the pain??
Tell me what you think...silverseal@geocities.com