The New Paradigm Oracle: "'ME BIG PRINT JOURNAL' of Dame Marguerite Brisbane-Arriaga, MA"

The New Paradigm Oracle: "'ME BIG PRINT JOURNAL' of Dame Marguerite Brisbane-Arriaga, MA" by Name Witheld Upon Request

DOG DAY LOG MARCH 7, IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 1996 -

I be awakened at 11:10 feeling mighty poorly. I be whizzing in the toilete' at 11:30 a.m. I be nappies with Daisy me Dog at 11:32 a.m. After me Maters TV show (Dog Days of Our Lives) be over, me Mater rang me at 2:05 p.m., awakening me and startling me out of the paws of Ceberius. I made toast and café at 2:30, but I be so weak that I could not even butter me toast. So I put butter on me lips and slid the toast though me open cake hole, but had trouble both salavating and masticating. At 2:40 me entered the lou and had a B M but was too weak to pee anymore. At 2;45 Daisy and me spent our 'me time' watching reruns of Lassie & Rin Tin-Tin with the rest of the pack: Pluto and Lucille. At 5:00 I quickly donned me dust mask and busily began sweeping and picking up doggie bon bon whens I hears Arnolfo drive up. At 5:05 soon as he be in the door, I be greeting dat chump with a smorgasboard of complaints and a myriad of problemas to stop him from complaining about how THE DISSARAY AND HABITAT AND DE ABODE BE. At 5;30 I made me self a TV dinner and went nappies before me shows. At 11:30 be awaken and watched the Tonight Show and be asleep after watching Conan. That was me day, but as Miss. Scarlet always used tah say, "tommorow be antha day", or as I says, "It's sun up and sundown agains !"