You will find no cutesy cows or pigs here...

There are NO dancing Mushrooms or happy elves
who want to be
YOUR friend...

Any cute little animals you may stumble across in here
have sharp teeth and are in a bad mood...

If you see the Dancing Baby in here...
He's dancing because someone poured Tabasco Sauce into
his diaper.

This Is A Humor Site.

This is NOT a kid's humor site.
If you are too lazy to keep track of what your kids are doing
then you  deserve it when they set fire to you in the old folks home
to speed up their inheritance.
Babysitting YOUR  kids is not OUR job...
nor do we want the government to do it with OUR money...
If it's too tough for you, put them up for adoption
and stay out of the backseat.

If you are a kid...
beat it before we tell your mother.

This site is not a "Fat Friendly" zone.
If you are fat and proud...
you just make that much bigger a target.

This site is also not a "Starving Waif" friendly zone.
If you are making the big bucks of
a successful actor or model
and still look like you need someone from a
civilized country to adopt and feed you,
then we will track you down by the sound of
your rattling bones and make fun of you.

There are no Joke Archives here.
If you are one of those insipid twits who thinks
cutting and pasting equals creativity and wit
Go Elsewhere.
If we see material from this site circulating via "twit mail"
we will contact your boss and let him know that you
are using his computer investment and time
to plagiarize and steal.
We will also tell him that you are bragging about
how lousy his wife and daughter are in bed.

If you see anything in here that you've seen on another site...
Please let us know...
They stole it.
We have  Lawyers  soooo vicious that we will own
 their teeth and 3 layers of skin in addition to
anything else they may have of value.
...and when he's finished, they'll need
Rabies Shots.

...we will not leave them enough money to pay for those Rabies Shots.

We Have NO Beanie Babies For Sale.

Occasionally one may become available for
dismemberment or assorted pyrotechnics.

This Is Not A Sex Site
If anything in here turns you on
you are one sick puppy...
Go read your NRA magazine instead.

This site is not for sale and you don't have enough money
to convince us to put your stupid banner anywhere.
If you need a place to stick your banner, e-mail us.