WELCOME TO
DVS KIDS. ARRGH

We've beaten you over the head a million times a day with this damn web address...
It's about time your parents bought some cheap-ass computer and let you get on-line



DVS Shows are so much fun it's like swimming in my mind

...or is that the Ritalin??

Hey Kids... How'd you like to meet "Bob The Clown"?
Live and In Person
Well, "In Person"

Just send me a post card with the following questions answered correctly

1.  Is your Mom divorced?
2.  Did she wring a big settlement out of your Dad?
3.  Does she have big hooters?

Please remember to answer in reverse order



You WILL Clean Your Room And DO Your Homework
Or Else...
IT'S PLAY TIME !!


Once upon a time....Little Kama bent over to pick up a penny...
Sutra, the boy next door walked up behind her and said
"Y'know... we should write a book..."

Tune in to the Lumpy Lap show for the rest of this story...
and lots, lots more


Won't YOU be my neighbor
and mow your lawn
on a hot summer day
and get all sweaty
and after an hour
when you have that real MAN smell
come over for some lemonade?



Coming Soon...
A "Very Special Episode" of Pirate Pete's Vibrating Mattress O' Fun Show

"The Viagra Hour... and 10 minutes"

Check local listings for date and time


Coming Soon To A DVS Kids Station Near You !!


One Will Die!... Many Should!!
Can You Say MURDER??

New Years Eve...
Dave & Busters...
Bring Your Kevlar



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