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Jenria

Assyla's View...

Poetry. I'd like to meet the person who invented poetry, just to see whether that person would pass a mental competency test. I mean, what type of person invented the poem?

Poetry is a fine art which is difficult to explain according to some, which is equivalent to, "Well, if you don't get it, I'm not going to tell you." Poetry is an evil scheme to make people seem smarter.

I can just see it now. Hundred of years ago, people inhaled dangerous fumes and began spouting off nonsensical phrases; they became prophets or oracles. Then some really devious people, claiming to posses divine knowledge, said they could understand these prophecies. It was only a matter of interpretation. They were deemed highly advanced and placed in positions of power.

Other smart people decided they wanted to be powerful, too. So they claimed they could understand the crazy mumblings of the people who sat too close to the volcano fumes, or became crazy fume-sniffing phrase spouters. Even smarter people realized you don't have to kill the valuable brain cells needed to trick people with in order to spout nonsensical phrases; all you had to do was string together sentence fragments. Thus poetry was born.

It would have been fine if only the smart people had written poetry, but it somehow leaked to the dumb ones that anyone could write poetry. And they had an advantage: they didn't even know how to put together a sentence in the first place. All they had to do was write whatever they were thinking.

The smart people realized this was not good. So the smart people got together and began to mention in vague terms about how you have to "feel" a poem. They talked about symbolism and metaphors openly in front of the dumb people, but carefully withheld enough information to retain their lofty "smart" position. The dumb people were lost in the hazy mist of confusion.

I happen to be one of the "dumb" ones, but I'm catching on to the "smart" people's secrets. Whenever I talk or write about poetry, I'm very careful never to mention specifics and to talk about similes and metaphors as if they were common knowledge, thereby elevating me to "smart" when compared to those who haven't caught on yet.

No one has called my bluff, and I'm beginning to wonder whether even the "smart" people are all just "dumb" people like myself who are faking it. My theory is the smart people who were clever enough to invent the poetry scheme ran off together and are having a good laugh at us. Maybe I should start laughing, just in case they're reading this.