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Jenria

"What Mikey Said"

Well, as it was, I was waiting in the beauty parlor like I always did when Beatrice walked in though the door. In the many years I knew Beatrice, she always came in the same way: in a rush and out of breath, as though it was a race to be the first with the new gossip at the beauty shop.

After checking her in and seating her at the third chair to the right, she began jabbering on about her new neighbors, the Johans, while I trimmed up her hair. "They're a friendly lot," Beatrice gossiped. "I've wondered how long it would take before someone moved into the vacant lot beside my house- bringing down my property value, you know. It's much better now there's someone to take care of that wild lawn. Billy Johan's no stranger to hard work according to my eye, and everyone knows my eye is never wrong." She tapped her right temple in confirmation.

"Silvie Johans was the sweetest mother I ever did saw. She and her husband Billy have two darling boys, one fifteen and the other barely six."

"The older boy's a dear, though I sensed right away he was bound for mischief. Named Brian you see, and I've never met a Brian that didn't stir up something in the air.

"Now the five-year-old, Mikey, he's the real cute one, with lovely brown eyes that must've come from Silvie. Billy's eyes are blue, you see, so they couldn't be his. Why, the first time I saw the boy I thought, 'This boy's special.' I truly did.

" 'And who's this charming boy?' I asked his parents.

" 'Oh, him?' Brian replied before his parents had a say. 'That's just Wiener.'

" 'That's surely not his real name!' I cried, aghast. No, no, the parent quickly assured me. That's just Brian's nickname for little Mikey. Believe me, I'd never call that little angel such a vulgar name, dear," Beatrice informed me, "Scar him for life, it would.

"Well, it only took a few weeks for the Johans to move completely into their new house, and I tried to help whenever I could. House-breaking is a terrible chore, especially with youngins'. Brian was in charge of keeping Mikey out of trouble, which I'm sure Mikey loved. Like all little boys that age, Mikey adores Brian and asks him all sorts of questions.

"Of course I introduced the new folk to their neighbors. They were immediate friends with Patti and Edward Farlis, those newly weds across the street. Well, I suppose now that Patti's pregnant, they can't be called newlyweds anymore, can they? Oh, well, they're still vibrant enough to rate the title.

"As I was saying, they became great friends. Mikey was especially curious about Patti, who's eight months pregnant. He'd never seen pregnant woman before. It's amazing how much interest a little one has in the world.

"Just the other day he asked Brian why the lady across the street had such a large stomach. I know he asked because Silvie told me, and Brian told Silvie. Brian told Mikey it was because a little baby was in her tummy.

" 'Ba-by?' Mikey repeated. 'I was a ba-by.' " 'Yeah,' Brian replied. 'When you were just a baby, Wiener, Mommy carried you around in her tummy, too.'

" 'The nice lady's tummy is big 'cause she's carrying a little ba-by. A little me!' Mikey concluded quickly. Of course, that wasn't exactly correct, but Brian didn't bother to correct poor Mikey. It didn't matter much at that time, anyway- that is, until Patti Farlis came to check on her new neighbors the next day.

"It just so happened I was at the house at the time, so I had a great view for the entire scene. As soon as Patti walked in, Mikey was all over her. I can still hear his little voice, and what he said."

By this time, I had finished trimming her hair and Beatrice stopped her narrative to pay for the service. She left me her normal tip and was about to walk out the door, and I feared she had forgotten to finish her story, when she turned around and laughed.

"Yes, I can still here his little voice!" she chuckled, leaning on the door, propping it half-open. "He pointed to poor Patti's tummy and shouted, 'Look Mom! She has a little Wiener like you!' " With that, Beatrice turned out the door, and I suspect she laughed all the way home.