8

Arthur rode out for Othes's lands this morning. He took with him two thirds of his standing army, leaving the rest, under the command of Gaheris and Gawain, to protect Camelot and keep peace in the other kingdoms. They are more than able to do so.

Among the other knights to stay were Agravaine, Mordred, and Gareth. I advised Arthur that it would be better for the minds of these knights if they did not have to deal with the mental conflict of fighting their kin. Better for the minds of all of us.

I have not felt Him all day. Maybe he got bored and left. I am not very sure of anything lately. For all I know, he could be trying to decide on what terrible thing to do and is waiting to catch me off guard.

That he will NOT do. I will always be ready for a confrontation.

I am going to sleep now. I have not gotten much rest of late and I know I will need to be fully rested for tomorrow.

I am to take Arthur's place in court in the morning.

What fun.

9

He has dared to show himself, to me, to the court, to all. To spite me, I think.

He is not a he, He is a SHE!

For all the preparations I have made, he---she---whatever, still managed to catch me off guard.

What a fool I am!

She introduced herself as Vivian. I know at last who the evil is. Again, I should explain.

Several years ago, to be more accurate, five decades ago, before I was chosen to help Arthur to his throne, I was a wanderer. During these wanderings, I was known to often take on traveling companions. Once, a young beautiful woman asked to be my companion and to learn the ways of sorcery.

I agreed, eager to share all I have learned to an apprentice who showed such a powerful desire to learn. We traveled for nearly a decade together during which, unknown to me, Vivian developed an attraction to me. I was not interested in her, or any other female, to start with, but it was at that same time that she professed her love to me that I was told of my task with Arthur. I then had a reason to spurn her. But she did not accept God as her authority in matters of love, and so continued to pursue me.

I had to flee from her in the end, leaving her deserted in an enchanted forest. I never though she would leave that forest.

And now here she is in court, in my Camelot. I do not understand why she has come. There is nothing for her here. Surely she understands that by now.

I have not talked to her. I overheard a conversation she was having with Sirs Gareth and Gawain. I thank God that she was not talking with Agravaine and Mordred. Who knows what sort of havoc they may have wrecked in the court in a single day.

I remind myself that I have felt nothing but evil from Vivian. I spoke of her above as if she was just a liability in the court, such as Mordred. She came to Camelot with some evil intention in mind, and, if I know Vivian, she will not leave until she has completed the task she came to do.

I am very worried over the fact of her power. She has shown clear improvement on her skills in sorcery, perhaps even beyond my own. The fact that she was able to appear as a demon to me is proof enough.

Could she be in league with Morgian? Maybe. Vivian was never the type to make unnecessary alliances. Then again, she was never the type to like the darker magics, either. I do not know this Vivian who now resides in the castle.

I asked around about her earlier and found that she is acting as an emissary of King Franc of Goth (Goth is a land somewhere between Bor's lands and the Pax Romana, from what I gather. A very small, quaint little place. I must make a point of visiting it sometime. Enough of my rambling). That means she is allowed to stay in the castle. I will sleep better knowing that.

Sarcasm does not transfer well on paper, I think.

I have come across the thought that Vivian is not the evil I sensed earlier this month. Maybe she was just an unfortunate victim of circumstance. Not so.

I have no reason to back this up, but I believe I will soon have reason.

10

She is the evil I sensed.

She came to me during a recess from court (which I again had to conduct. Next time, I will threaten to turn all the courtier to frogs if Arthur dares to ask me to do court for him) and told me what was on her mind, more or less.

"Well, Merlin," she said from the dark corner of the hallway in which she had been no doubt waiting for me, "haven't we risen to be all high and mighty lately?"

"How did you get out of the forest?" was my first question after I recovered from the start she had given me.

"I'm not that stupid," she said easily, "I threatened to burn the place down, after I was sure you were gone and I was tired of the games, and the little bastard sprite decided to let me out." She took a gentle sip from the cup of sweet smelling wine she was drinking, looking for all the world like a very naughty child.

"That was very rude of you," I told her, "the sprite was kind enough to let us in, you should have respected that."

"Oh, I did, Merlin, it's just that a girl can only stay in the same area for a certain amount of time."

I sighed hopelessly to myself. The Vivian I remembered was shining through. Pert and to the point. I brought myself out of these thoughts when I saw her looking at me over the rim of her cup just a little too suggestively. She had learned more than sorcery during the time we were apart.

"Why are you here?" I asked her.

"I thought you would never ask."

"Just answer the question."

She looked at me, as if trying to see if I was faking the abrupt tone I was using with her. She seemed to see that I was not.

"Be that way then, Merlin." she said. For a moment, I thought she was not going to answer my question, but she continued on.

"I came to see why you left me, Merlin. Haven't you guessed by now? I came to see what was more irresistible than this," she gestured at her body, which I had noticed was quite well-shaped under the slim dress she wore. Another change from the shapeless Vivian I had known. This was going to take some getting used to.

"You were not so, becoming, before, if you do not remember."

"Yes, I suppose that is true." she looked me over quite thoroughly. "But you have changed little, my fine handsome Merlin." I objected to being called hers, but I was savoring the flattery, for what it was worth, and decided not to say anything.

"Tell me," she said, "why do you keep the same ageless young man look?"

"I like to see the same face every time I look at my reflection."

Just then, the trumpets sounded for court to come back into session. I started to walk away from Vivian, then I remembered something and turned around.

"Vivian," I said in my coolest voice. She drifted her sensuous eyes to me. "I'm still not interested."

With that done, I turned and walked away quickly, not wanting to see the anger rise up in her.

Even if she had changed her mind about doing wrong to this place, I am afraid that that last statement would have made up her mind for her. Oh well, it could not have been helped. She had to informed of how I truly felt at one time or another.

Perhaps one at this time wonders at my sexuality. No, I am not interested in women, in general. I am NOT interested in men either. Oh, no, no. Do not be confused on that issue.

Maybe someday, when peace is prevalent in the land, I will find a woman. She will not have to be beautiful, just strong in heart.

Is that asking too much?

But that will be a long time from now. Peace is a long time coming to this land. Keep to the present, Merlin.

A messenger from Arthur is here. I must go to see him.

11

Arthur will be returning soon. Today would not be soon enough. The war was very successful, form what I hear. Othes retreated to his castle, then sued for a truce in a few weeks.

The courtiers are nearly as tired of me as I am of them. Nearly. Maybe I'll turn Arthur's court in to the form they enjoy playing the most. Can you see that? A court of swine! What a sight that would be!

Merlin, I say to myself, you are letting yourself get carried away.

I know that. These flapping courtiers are driving me mad. And if they are not enough, there is Vivian.

She has only been in the court for two weeks, but she has managed to wreak havoc without Mordred's aid.

First, there was the noble who she claimed was stalking her, which turned out to be nothing. Then there was the henchman trying to steal her official documents. Again, nothing. Then the slaves are trying to murder her...the court is conspiring against her...I am biased...ah, the list goes on and on.

Frankly, I've come near to nullifying her ambassadorial status. But, there are too many questions associated with such an act. Legal matters I have always made a point not to learn. I'll put it in Arthur's hands.

I have not spoken to her personally since that talk in the hall a fortnight ago. She is planning something. These minor court aversions are to keep me too busy to watch her closely. I must admit, she's done a very good job at keeping me busy. I have not written in this for two weeks, I get an average a three hours of sleep a night, and most of my meals consist of water and lumpy soup. Disgusting.

I will say only this: when it comes down to it, I think Vivian is waiting for Arthur just as much as I. Her plan will then all fall in place.

I will see what I can't do to pull some threads out of that plan. Maybe I will place a spy to watch her, like the one she has had watching me. She put a watching spell on me, so I will put one on her. Two can play at this game.

12

She destroyed my little spy spell. Oh, well. I did the same to hers. But she got a nasty little surprise from mine.

Did you enjoy those vipers you found in your bed, Vivian?

Arthur is back. The courtiers are not so bold as to complain of the way I ran things, but they have made hints that he could have maybe a better choice. I did more than that. Arthur promised to never, ever ask me to do such a task again.

Perhaps I was a bit, more than a bit, childish when I spoke with him, but that happens when you don't get enough sleep.

And eat too much lumpy soup.

Back to the spy. I learned very little from it. I could see that Vivian has insinuated herself into the higher ranking groups of the court almost perfectly. A few more days and they will jump off a cliff at her command.

I could perhaps put a stop to that, but I have no desire to. Let the stupid nobles fall for her tricks and schemes. If they are that dumb, then they do not belong in their positions. When she falls, she will bring them down with her. All the better for the court.

13

I had no idea! How could she do such a thing!?

Vivian is seducing Arthur! Can you believe that? All this time I thought she was after me, she was planning to take Arthur from under my hands.

Woe is me.

And all of Arthur's court who saw what I saw today.

She has drawn Arthur to her like a lamb to slaughter. Poor Arthur. As any mortal man, he is naturally attracted to beauty. She used that to get to him. Guinevere cannot be told.

Enough of how it happened, I must find a way to remedy the situation. A confrontation is the only way I can see. I must go to her now and challenge her. A sorcerer's duel. If she has any decency left, she will accept this and let the outcome decide who will win all.

I must prepare.

14

I went to her and challenged her as planned. She accepted and we rode off from the castle to an obscure and uninhabited area. When we had dismounted she turned to me and spoke.

"Well, teacher mine, it has come to this. How utterly pathetic."

"I am not yours." I said. That was one point I had to make clear. "You are the only pathetic one. You are the one who has sunk down to the level of a seductress."

"Me?" she said in mock sincereness," I would never do such a thing." Her face became livid. "You are blasphemous with me."

"Nothing more than you deserve." I replied in an even voice.

She made a petty attempt to blind me, and I shrugged it off easily. I then sent a force against her. It knocked her off her feet. The battle began.

After a short while I found that while she had improved in deceptive magic, her skills in attack and defense were very much the same as they were when I had left her in the forest. I brought her in my mercy inside an hour.

Perhaps that seems a little excessive , but you must understand sorcery is a very tedious business. On average, a duel between two fairly powerful sorcerers may last a whole day. Get two powerful contenders, and the duel may last over a week. Needless to say, the loser, if he or she is still alive, and the winner are both exhausted.

I was ready to deal the final blow when something changed in her eyes. She actually looked at me.

"Finish it, Merlin. That is what you intended in the first place, was it not?"

I could not bring myself to do it. I could not kill her, yet I could not allow her to continue. What was I supposed to do?

"No, Vivian. I will not kill you." Something lit up in her eyes. "I cannot live without you." It was out. As much as I had denied it, I knew the truth somewhere in the depths of my heart that I did care for her. A look a triumph came to her eyes. She lay on the ground before me as my last force wind had knocked her down again.

"You cannot be allowed to continue as you have been." I said, at last reaching my decision, "You cannot be allowed to continue at all." She stared at me in confusion. I whispered the first part of the spell. Then I knelt by her side, took her in my arms, and kissed her softly on the lips. I finished the spell, sealing both our fates.

Never again will Arthur be able to speak to me again about the troubles in his kingdom. I am forever lost from the world of the living. The spell is too complex to explain. All that I can say is that I have locked myself and Vivian together beyond physical boundaries of the mortal world. Not alive, but not dead.

I used the last of my power to reach across and write of what happened with Vivian and myself. Someone will find this, read it, and perhaps understand why I did it.

In several hundred years, maybe even millennium, I might have enough power to be able to speak to the world of men again.

Until then, fare well, Island of the Mighty.