July 14, 1998
You think that there is something wrong with me because I do not have a gaggle of people around me to call friends. You think that I need to change myself to mold to the image the society has set before us all. How dare you tell me that my self-worth is less that your own because I do not have as many friends are you do? Perhaps I am harsh, jaded, but at least I am true to myself. I have reason for the way I behave - you did this to me - you told me all my life that I was worthless, you separated me from yourself because I was different, you made me a loner, for I had nowhere else to go - and now you condemn me for that? I do not measure my importance by the number of people who name me friend. Those who do name me friend know that they can count on me, and that I will not leave them for trite issues. Those that I name friends are honest and true - to be trusted to the upmost. Why don't you see this? Why don't you try to understand what I am? What I have become? I beg the void of familial values to listen to me, yet I speak indeed to a void, with no echo, no answer, and no resolution. So I withdraw more, and you damn me again, and again, I withdraw, until, one day, there will be nothing of me for you to remember, for all you will see is the hard coating which you have applied so liberally year after year. And still, you will damn me.
I did not ask for this! Why am I this way? If I knew, surely I would be the wisest person in all the world! For as long as I have known, I have been different, set apart - why do you suddenly demand that I change? Why did you outcast me all those years, then expect me to come back to you with joy? I am not perfect. I never claimed to be. Please, stop asking me to go against my nature which you have aided all along.