Chapter Twenty-One

Looking back at Jyleth, Sephiroth couldn’t help but notice her clothing again – or lack thereof, actually. When he had first spotted her leaving the town, it had taken him a moment to realize it was Jyleth. Certainly that well-shaped, barely-covered body couldn’t have been Jyleth. But it had been. He didn’t know the reasoning behind her change in apparel, and he wasn’t sure if asking was appropriate; but he certainly wasn’t going to complain. The colors complimented her hair and eyes exceedingly well, as well as allowing for greater appreciation of her warrior’s physique that still showed womanly curves. He turned away sharply, realizing he was staring at her.

“You want me to trust my feelings, rather than rationalize,” Sephiroth said finally, returning his gaze to the fire.

“No,” she answered quickly. “You have to find the meeting point between them. Sometimes you will be wrong. That’s just part of the game.”

“How do I know which is right to use an any given situation?”

“That’s where this,” Jyleth placed her finger on his chest above his heart, “and this,” she moved her finger to his temple, “have to make a decision together.” She sighed heavily, then shrugged. “But I can’t tell you how to do this, Sephiroth. How you find the meeting place is what makes you an individual.”

“And if that meeting place is more often than not toward the rational end of the spectrum?”

“Then you will find that life will be a boring and monotonous existence,” she answered earnestly, “and that you will always find yourself feeling that something is missing.” She turned toward him, raising her hands to his face and leaning in close to him. “And sometimes,” she continued, whispering the words in his ear, “you will find yourself committing actions without being able to stop yourself, or realizing why you committed the action.”

Sephiroth tensed, immediately realizing what she was referring to. Her hands, resting delicately on his face, suddenly seemed less like those of lover and more like those of an enemy seeking vengeance. He jerked away from her, raising his own hands to push her away. But he found that his hands got caught in hers, and he could not pull away.

“I told you I forgave you,” Jyleth said quietly, bringing her eyes to his once he stilled, “I was merely trying to make a point.”

“You still fear me,” he replied in an equally hushed tone. “I can see it every time I move perhaps too quickly, or when I am out of your sight. You flinch when I touch you, if even you try to hide it.”

Jyleth’s head dropped, her gaze falling to the ground, belying the truth in what Sephiroth had said. But she didn’t try to pull away from him. She swallowed harshly several times, trying to find the right words to say. The words did not come. Sephiroth pulled away from her abruptly, leaving her to stare mutely at the ground. She blinked and jumped a moment later when something was thrown roughly into her vision. Carefully, Jyleth reached out, taking the object in her hands, not believing what her eyes showed her. After confirming the vision, she looked at Sephiroth.

“Rope?” She asked, carefully turning the coiled loops in her hands. “What… why?”

“You don’t trust me,” he said, sitting down once more, this time out of touching distance. “And I cannot think of any other way to gain that trust.”

“Sephiroth, tying you up isn’t going to make me trust you!” Jyleth was aghast. The idea, while it was her own, suddenly seemed to have been twisted into something much darker than she had intended.

“If you won’t do it for that, then do it for me,” he replied softly, barely making the words come out.

“Why?”

“Because I do trust you.” The words were softer now, and Jyleth found herself moving closer to hear him. “And because I trust you, I believe that you are right when you say I must learn to control my… baser human instincts. How can I possibly think I am a warrior of any repute when I cannot conquer the beast within myself?”

“You think that if you tie you up, and we-“ she made a vague gesture, not willing to actually speak the word-“that you will learn control, and perhaps you will earn my unending trust?”

“It was originally your idea in the first place,” he pointed out.

“It was a bad idea!” She tossed the rope aside. “I didn’t really like the idea at the time, but now, it seems as twisted as any of Hojo’s schemes. I am becoming very sorry for ever having brought it up.”

Sephiroth sighed, rising to retrieve the rope. He brought it back to her, pressing it into her unwilling hands as he knelt by her side. “Jyleth, do not be sorry. If this does not work, then it does not work. Truly, what harm will it do? Perhaps I can at least learn to conquer some of my inner demons by learning that being tied…” he grimaced… then gave her a tight smile. “That, that being tied does not always mean pain and humiliation.”

“You are insane,” she finally said, taking the rope in her hands.

“I’m trying to get over that,” he replied, leaning in closer and kissing her firmly on the mouth. “But I need your help.”

Jyleth pulled away slowly from the kiss, slowing uncoiling the rope in her hands. “What if this doesn’t work?”

“Jyleth, even if it doesn’t work, having you making love to me is not a tribulation,” Sephiroth answered. He raised a hand to her face, softly tracing the line of her jaw with the tips of his fingers.

“Oh, well, that makes it all right, then,” Jyleth said sarcastically. “Tying your lover up is perfectly fine as long as one of you comfortable with it.”

“Are you so uncomfortable with this?”

“I think it’s for the wrong reasons,” she replied, staring at the rope. “I just … I’m not sure …”

He brought his hand to her chin, slowly tilting her head up. “Will you trust me, if only just for this?” There was fragility to his tone, almost as if he were a starved child begging for food, but not expecting to receive anything more than a harsh cuff on the cheek. She couldn’t deny him the tiny morsel of her trust that he begged for.

Placing the rope on the ground, she moved her hands to his waist, slowly unbuckling the weapon belt. Sliding the belt off, she removed the dagger from its sheathe before placing the belt aside. She picked up the rope again, measuring off a length and cutting it with the dagger. Sephiroth shrugged off his coat, then offered his now-bare arms to her. The fire glittered in the materia contained in his leather bracers. She paused at the sight, remembering the slow materia he had used on her.

“No materia,” she said, removing the bracers. “Any other materia on you?”

“No,” he said in a low voice. She peered questionly into his eyes, trying to make sure he wasn’t about to bolt on her. He retuned her gaze steadily, the mako green flaring with strange intensity. Jyleth looked away quickly, remembering that gaze. Quickly, she moved behind him, pulling his arms behind his back. There was a moment he tensed, and perhaps tried to pull away, but then Sephiroth relaxed and allowed her to wind the length of rope around his wrist. After she had pulled the knots tight, Jyleth came back around in front of him, rising on her knees to match his stance. His eyes were shut tight, his entire face dominated by a look of fierce determination.

“Sephiroth,” she said softly. He opened his eyes, the mako still showing the same strange intensity. The strain of having to remain still while she had tied him showed clearly now, though he fought to hide it and smile at her. “I think that is enough for now,” she said, moving to untie him.

“No,” he said quickly, shifting to block her. “I am fine.”

“Sephiroth, this is like trying to run across the Northern wastes. You don’t try it stark naked. You take time to prepare.”

“This is not something I just decided to do,” he said. “Look closely at the rope. It is not what you brought to me. I bought something… stronger… I bought it specifically for this purpose. I am not … unprepared.”

“Sephiroth…”

“Besides,” he continued, seemingly oblivious to her worried tone, “if this means I don’t have to see a shrink, it is certainly worth it.” He laughed softly at his attempt at joke, but the amusement was missing from the noise. It came out sounding very desperate instead.

Jyleth slid a hand behind his head, pulling his face down to hers. Kissing him gently, she moved her hands to his chest, sliding across the deep V in the shirt, brushing lightly across the skin. Sephiroth gave off a strangled moan, but he did not tell her to stop. Please let this not be wrong, she pleaded mentally. Her hands slid down his chest, un-tucking the shirt and sliding under to caress the skin beneath. She broke off the kiss, moving her lips down his jaw, nipping at his neck as she turned her attention to his shirt. Pushing the shirt up, she laid her cheek across his chest, feeling his heart beating madly beneath the flesh. She turned her face, kissing his skin, trailing her kisses down the line of his chest, along his stomach, until she reached the line of his trousers. Moving her hands to his shoulders, she gently pushed him down to the ground, forcing him to his back. Sephiroth struggled for a moment, finding that she had left just enough rope between his wrists that he might lay down without have to arch his back over his bound hands.

When he lay still, Jyleth crawled over him, straddling him at the waist. Seeing him like this, helpless and restrained, seemed very odd to her. Yes, she found it incredibly appealing. She fought down the urge to kiss, touch, and taste every part of him all at once. Swallowing was suddenly very difficult for her to accomplish. Bringing her eyes to his face, she found he was watching her.

“See something you like?” His voice was amused. Jyleth laughed, feeling some of the tension drain away from her.

“Yes, as a matter of fact,” she replied, leaning forward over his chest. “I like this,“ she placed a kiss above his heart, “and this,” her lips grazed his bare arm, “and this,” she brought her mouth to his neck, running her tongue over his skin, tasting the salt of his sweat. His pulse beat rapidly under her lips, and she could not help but to bite down on it – not breaking the skin, but hard enough to bring a gasp from him. She raised her head from his neck, bringing her hands to his hair, running her fingers through the wealth of silvery locks. “I like this, too,” she whispered into his ear. “But, I most especially like this,” she continued, claiming his mouth with her own. She kissed him hard, and she could feel him respond, or at least, try to, but he was stopped by the bonds. Feeling more confident, she pressed her body down against him, even as she pressed harder with her kiss. She tangled her fingers in his hair, for once finding herself completely unafraid of his body.

She was just pondering how to remove the shirt, when he twisted sharply, then somehow managed to flip them over, so that she was pinned under him. Panic immediately rose as she realized that he had escaped the ropes, and now had her arms pinned down to either side of head. Jyleth stared up into his eyes, meeting his intense, nearly maddened eyes evenly. He looked away almost immediately, then he was suddenly no longer there. She jumped to her feet, and her attention was immediately drawn to the rope – or what was left of it. It lay in tatters, shredded as if something had pulled it apart. Looking around the camp, she quickly found the reason for the destruction of the ropes.

Sephiroth sat huddled far on the opposite side of the fire, holding his arms close to his chest as he rocked back and forth. Firelight caught the glistening trails of blood that ran from both his wrists. Jyleth started to approach him, but his head jerked up at her first step.

“Stay back,” he said fiercely. The green in his eyes showed no lust now, only pain and anger. “Please,” he said in a slightly softer tone, “stay away.” The blood continued to flow from the cuts the ropes had made on his wrists he broke free. “It hurts,” he muttered softly, dropping his head once more, “it hurts… please…” He jerked his head back up, looking across the fire, but not really seeming to focus on her. He now looked... maddened. “The shrink it is,” he said in a louder tone, bringing his eyes to her. He gave a short laugh, but it was the laugh of a madman. “Indeed, the shrink it is.”

“Sephiroth,” she said, taking another step toward him.

“Stay back!” He scrambled to his feet, still holding his arms to his chest. “Don’t you understand?” He showed her the stone in his hand, the red of it matching the red coating his arms. “This is the stain of my blood, their blood… it is my madness, and it cannot be washed away. Ever. Never ever.” He brought the hand protectively back to his chest. “And it hurts more than you can know. Even now, it burns, burns inside my head. Telling me I can never be worthy.”

“Enough of this!”

They both jumped at the sound of a new voice. Sephiroth started to turn to leave, but the voice continued. “Sephiroth stop!” He stopped, turning to look in the direction of the voice, unable to resist its command. The fire flared up, rising to the height of a man. Or, a woman. She took form in the fire, soon becoming recognizable.

“Aeris,” Sephiroth said. “Come to take me back to the madness?”

“Why should I have to take you anywhere?” The Ancient snapped at him. “You are very nearly there yourself, without my help.”

“This isn’t your help?” He demanded, moving closer to the fire and waving the stone-imbedded hand at her. The motion flicked several drops of blood in the fire, where each sizzled loudly.

“Sephiroth,” Aeris said in a more gentle tone, “come here.” He didn’t want to approach any closer, but he could not resist her words. He moved closer, until the was nearly in the fire. She reached out of the flames, taking his mangled wrists in her ephemeral hands. A bright green glow surrounded her hands for a moment, then she pulled away, leaving his arms behind, the wounds totally healed and the blood gone. Sephiroth immediately glanced at the stone, grimacing to find it still red.

“I didn’t come here to change the stone,” Aeris said. “That is your quest.”

“It is impossible,” he replied tersely.

“Nothing is impossible for you,” she said. “Well, some things are,” she corrected, “but this isn’t. I never said it would be easy.”

“Why are you here?” Jyleth said, finally finding her voice after her initial surprise at the presence of the specter in the fire.

“I’ve been watching you,” Aeris said, perhaps looking a little abashed at the admission. “And I know about your.. problems. I truly think it has gotten out of proportion. Jyleth, I realize you find yourself afraid of Sephiroth, but, I think you know, somewhere deep in your mind, he would never truly hurt you. And Sephiroth,” she smiled at him. “I know you worry that you will hurt Jyleth if you give in to your feelings, but I think you know you can’t hurt her. Even so, you worry that she’ll hurt you. I don’t think that will happen.”

“You came here just to tell us to get on with it?” Jyleth snapped at Aeris. The Ancient looked truly taken aback.

“Oh well,” she looked down, needlessly smoothing her dress. “Maybe I do meddle too much.” She sighed. “Actually, I came for another reason. Jyleth, you haven’t realized this yet, but you carry within you a very important being.”

“Huh?”

“You are pregnant, although you haven’t quite started showing enough for anyone to realize.”

“How can I be pregnant?” Jyleth demanded. “I am barren.”

Aeris nodded. “Yes, you are. I can’t fix that, I’m sorry to say. But. I can return something that was taken. It wasn’t easy, but the Planet was willing to give this soul back.”

“What do you mean?” Jyleth placed a hand on her stomach, not believing a life could be stirring there.

“The child I…” Sephiroth started, trailing off as he looked at Jyleth in disbelief. “You gave her back the child I sent from her womb?”

“Yes, the one you killed,” Aeris said in a pointed tone. Sephiroth flinched at the word.

“It was barely conceived-“ he started to protest, but Aeris waved him silent.

“The planet has a purpose for every child conceived. But I don’t have time to go in to that now. Jyleth, my time here grows short. The child inside of you is more than just the fusing of Sephiroth’s and your cells. It has been… added to. The Ancient’s line died with me, sealing the planet’s doom even as the dark materia would have. Without an Ancient to guide the lifestream, it will taper off into the universe and the planet will die. I could not bear this to happen, and the planet wished to prevent its death dearly was well. Together, the planet and I, we have fused your child with the heritage of the Ancient’s. It is a hefty load to place on one tiny life’s shoulder’s, but I could think of no better protector’s for the planet and the lifestream.”

“Why not Cloud and his get?” Sephiroth asked, “Are they not infinitely more worthy of such a responsibility?”

“And why just one child?” Jyleth questioned, “If this is such an important thing, why just one?”

“Cloud was not an available choice for reasons I cannot disclose,” Aeris answered, her face momentarily clouding over with a look of regret. Her form wavered, growing insubstantial. “My time is nearly up. It is very difficult to speak to you this way. There could only be one child. We did not have the ability to impart the heritage to any others. Or we would have.” Her form dissipated, and the flames fell back to normal size.

“A child,” Sephiroth said, stirring Jyleth from her gaze at the fire. She hadn’t noticed him moving to her side. He placed a hand gently over hers which she clutched protectively at her stomach. Turning her gaze from the fire to his eyes, Jyleth found his eyes were no longer tinged with madness. Wonder danced across his face, a new emotion for his features which she found remarkably appealing. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.

“She had a good reason for coming here,” he said softly after a few moments of endearing silence. “A reason for me to want to finish the quest. I can hardly raise a child when I am a villain.” Jyleth laughed softly against his shoulder. She pulled back slightly, raising her head.

“Sephiroth, I am sorry for not trusting you,” she said.

“You had good reason,” he answered, shrugging off her guilt.

“But I should have trusted you,” she said. “That lack of trust is what kept you from trusting yourself. I am sorry.”

“It is a lesser thing to forgive you of that lack of trust than what you had to forgive me of,” Sephiroth replied. “So I find easy to forgive you.” Jyleth laid her head back on his shoulder, hugging him fiercely.

“A child,” she whispered.