The late afternoon sun had already began to slant toward the hazy horizon, its red shafts spreading over the swarming highways. A musty fog loomed drearily over the hectic city, smothering and suffocating the many cars that packed the streets. Loud honks and screeches echoed through the air, sounds easily associated to that characteristic of a traffic jam. The heated drivers who grumbled helplessly at the wheel had long since given up and turned off their engines for the tedious upcoming wait. To them, it seemed as if the lights of the traffic light up ahead had been permanently switched to red. And it wouldn’t be too surprising if that was the truth, either. It was just an ordinary Monday, the scene of a normal evening rush hour.
In the midst of this turmoil you could spot a compact white car. Of course, there were many such cars, but if you happened to catch a glimpse of this particular one, you would notice that only the driver occupied it. And if you could peek behind the dark tinted windows, you would agree that the driver of this car was indeed just an ordinary man. Young and considerably handsome, yes, but not particularly noticeable in the disorder of the evening. He was obviously frustrated and angry, rightly so, for he had been stuck in the exact same position for the last half-hour. The man checked his wristwatch constantly, evidently worried about being late for something. It was a common picture for a Monday evening, for all Mondays had agonizing rush hours and every other driver there was late for something or another. But most of the time, it was normal for the driver to wait the jam out, not slam the door of his car and walk into the street as the above mentioned man was doing. He dashed to the sidewalk, leaving his car in the sea of gas smoke and head lights.
A soft light glowed through the transparent windows that revealed a crowd of diners, either busy in deep conversation or busy inhaling their food at the tables. Just the sight of the tantalizing plates was enough to make anyone’s mouth water.
"How many in your party?" A haunty looking man looked down his long, thin nose toward the man who was just entering the double doors. Apparently, he had been out for a sprint, for he was glowing with perspiration and beads of moisture dotted his forehead.
"Uh…no…I mean…whew!" The man gasped, trying to smile, but not quite succeeding. "I’m supposed…to meet someone here?quot; He managed to answer.
"I see." The waiter looked slightly taken aback and hurriedly scanned his list. "The name of your party?" He asked, apparently offended at the kind of personage that had entered his sacred restaurant.
Tony An straightened himself and took a deep breath. Running full speed for a mile was definitely not something he was used to doing. He flashed a grin at the doubtful face.
I guess I’m not exactly your Mr. Dignified, he chuckled to himself. He drew himself tall, facing the regal man solemnly. "Will you check for a BoMi Lee, please?" He asked, courteously.
Gentle piano music twinkled elegantly as Tony followed the waiter to a table already occupied by two people. They glanced up as Tony sank into the single empty seat. Their eyes twinkled with mock vexation.
"You’re late." The female voice accused.
"20 minutes." Added the man.
Tony raised his hands in surrender and grinned. "I’m sorry." He nodded gratefully to the waiter who set a glass of ice water in front of him. With a swift motion, he had swished down the glass with a single gulp. The cold water slipped down his throat, cooling his heated body.
"He must be pretending to be a marathon runner." The girl cocked her head as if she was studying an endangered species.
"He must have ran through a shower so he could make up a wild excuse about why he was late." The man put in, tapping his chin.
"Yeah. Like…a boar caught him."
"And he was chased?quot;
"All across the city?quot;
"From the east side to the west."
"It’ll be the headlines?quot;
"In big block letters?quot;
"Yep. Tomorrow’s papers."
" ‘Boar chases man with monkey ears?quot;
"Can’t wait to read the details."
"We already know the ending."
"He was tortured by a couple of doves."
"Turtle doves."
"Yes. Turtle doves in love."
"Madly in love." The man turned toward the girl. He smiled sweetly and their hands met under the table.
"All right all right!" Tony screeched. "I said I was sorry. Jeez. I have an excuse. It’s not as good as your story, but will a traffic jam be good enough to replace your boar?" He said, exasperated, but smiling. His eyes twinkled across the table. The couple laughed together, hands still linked. Tony leaned back and studied the two.
He had known KangTa for over 10 years now and not once had an argument or cross word passed between them to mar their friendship. KangTa wouldn’t ever allow it to happen. Tony smiled, reflecting how he had been so envious of KangTa when they had first met. He was every guy’s idol and every girl’s dream, patient, diligent, athletic, warm-hearted and handsome. Delicate features, broad shoulders and sparkling eyes, he had been the most popular guy all his life. And Tony had been his best friend. He himself wasn’t exactly a castoff, Tony had always had his share of popularity, but KangTa was different. KangTa’s stardom wasn’t sought or by chance…it just came, as naturally as the stars come to the moon. And KangTa was like the moon, a subtle light always glowing endlessly through the dark night.
BoMi, he had known almost as long, and if KangTa was the moon, BoMi was the sun. They were as different as the two objects in the heavens, but Tony didn’t think he could have made a better pair if he had planned it himself. BoMi Lee had always been famous for her loud-mouthed, thoughtless speeches, hot temper, spur of the moment decisions and her sunny smile. A little dramatic and naïve, but BoMi had always been a favorite wherever she went. Her bright face and flashing eyes opened all doors to her everywhere. Even if one tried, no one could shut her out…just like the sun couldn’t be completely shut out by window curtains.
"Tony, really. Today’s your birthday and we, as your best friends, invited you to dinner at the most expensive restaurant in the country! And you’re late…that’s gratitude for you." BoMi gave a sidelong look toward KangTa.
"Well, I tried! I mean, I even left my car in the middle of the street to get here faster!" Tony complained.
KangTa raised his eyebrows. "You left your car…where?" He asked dubiously.
"It’s sitting a mile away…over at HanNam Bridge." Tony laughed.
BoMi let out a hoot. "You’re kidding."
"Nope."
KangTa reached over to tousle Tony’s head. "How can we ever get mad at him?"
"Yes…we’d better forgive him."
"Of course, if you say so."
"I do."
"Then I do too. Cause you are me and I am you and we are one, right?" KangTa smiled.
Tony held his head. "KangTa! What happened to you!" He exclaimed, teasingly.
"I met BoMi." KangTa shrugged as if that explained everything.
"Well," Tony spoke as he leaned back to allow the waiter to set down his sizzling plate. "Who would have ever…Boy, this looks great…guessed that my best friend from high school," he grinned at KangTa, "…and my best friend from the university, would become a couple! Now that is what I call chance." He finished, lifting his fork to his mouth.
"Or maybe?quot; BoMi smiled, "It was destiny."
"Hmph." Tony grunted, but with an indulging smile. "Oh…this is the best piece of meat I have ever tasted." He swallowed, beaming from ear to ear.
BoMi and KangTa laughed in unison. "Leave it to Tony to comment on the food at a time like this."
Tony grinned sheepishly. "Well, it is." He insisted. "Try it!" He motioned with his fork.
BoMi barreled over and KangTa shook his head helplessly.
It was several days, perhaps weeks after the birthday dinner. Tony was sitting at his desk behind the counter, fiddling with a glossy camera. Business was slow on summer days, but Tony already anticipated the rolls of film that would be waiting after the vacation season. He’d be busy soon enough, with summer vacation pictures, back-to-school pictures and since Autumn meant romance and weddings, well?He blew his hair out of his eyes as he reached for a tool.
"Tony! Tony!" A voice boomed through the dark studio, so loud that Tony heard it even before the figure entered the door. First the sound, then a shadow, then a handsome face appeared. Tony smiled up at his best friend.
"I’m here, I’m here." Tony replied reassuringly. He rose from his desk.
"Oh good. Will you get this produced for me?" KangTa tossed a roll of film onto the counter, breathlessly. The well-known smile fluttered across his face, brightening the dark studio.
"Sure, when do you need it?" Tony asked, reaching for his clipboard.
"As soon as you can get them done." KangTa said.
"Okay. You can come by 6 this evening." Tony scribbled KangTa’s name down. "Why?" He asked, looking up at the breathless face. "Is it important?"
KangTa nodded fiercely, "Yes. It’s the pictures BoMi and I took at the park yesterday. I got this one shot of her…the angle of the light was just like you taught me! She’s going to look like an angel in that one."
Tony laughed and rolled his eyes. "Ohhh…you wouldn’t want to wait for that." He grinned sarcastically.
KangTa threw a punch towards Tony, lightly nudging his shoulder. "You wouldn’t understand." He said disdainfully. A dreamy look filled the sharp eyes.
"Yeah and by the looks of how she changed you," Tony smirked, "I don’t want to understand."
KangTa grinned. "You goof."
Tony dropped KangTa’s film into a bag. "You busy?" He also dropped his pencil.
"Not really," KangTa leaned on the counter. "I have an appointment in the afternoon, though. I’ll come by after that."
"Appointment? What kind?" Tony bent under his desk, in search of the strayed pencil
"I don’t know. Just for some kind of blood test." KangTa shrugged. He peered at Tony’s bent form. "You lost something?" He finally asked.
"Nope. I’m fine." Tony reappeared, holding up the pencil. "I was looking for this." He smiled, looking dazed.
KangTa grinned and lifted his eyebrows. He looked slightly amused at Tony’s ruffled hair. His eyes traveled above Tony, to the sign that stretched over the counter. "You know, I can’t help thinking that your place sounds too much like an Italian restaurant. I mean, Tony’s Photoria? Why not Tony’s Pizzeria or just Tony’s! as a matter of fact." KangTa taunted, playfully.
"Hey." Tony protested. "You’re the one that liked it so much when I thought it up."
"I do like it. But it still sounds like a pizza parlor." KangTa teased, straightening himself. "Oh yeah!" KangTa thrust his hand into his pocket. "Take a look at this."
His hand folded out to reveal a small box. It opened with a soft creak, unveiling a delicate gold band set with miniature crimson gems.
"Whoa." Tony breathed. "It’s beautiful." Mesmerized, his hand reached out, taking the ring from its case. The trinket glistened in the late summer sun.
"Do you think she’ll like it?" KangTa asked in a low voice.
Tony looked up, the trance had broken. He blinked. "Who, BoMi?"
KangTa rolled his eyes. "No, my mother…of course, BoMi!" He exclaimed.
Tony smiled. Then gasped. "You…are proposing?"
A blush settled in KangTa’s cheeks and he ducked his head bashfully. But his eyes glistened in rapture and they hinted the answer to Tony’s question.
For a second, Tony stared blankly at his best friend as if he were looking at a stranger. Somehow, KangTa’s face had transformed in that moment, revealing a truth yet to be discovered. Tony felt himself holding back feeling strangely lost. It was as if KangTa was pulling ahead of him and a gap was forming between the two. KangTa was experiencing something that Tony couldn’t intrude in just yet. Before Tony could figure out the origin of the feeling, it disappeared. One moment and the veil fell again, hiding the future to come, for just a little longer.
"Wow!" Tony burst out. "Congratulations!"
KangTa’s face nearly cracked in his pride and happiness. The ever tender eyes gleamed even more compassionately then, for love had the power to beautify even the most beautiful things. "Thanks." He answered, his voice calm, but his heart thudding wildly.
Tony held the film up to the blinding lamp. He smiled indulgently at the miniature figures he could make out on the gauzy dark film. His eyes clouded, seeing not the picture, but a real life image from long long ago.
KangTa and Tony had been best friends since middle school, after they had both rushed in to stop a school fight. The school bully was picking on a girl, coincidentally the same girl that Tony had a crush on. Tony had ranted and flung himself at the guy in his rage, although he never understood afterwards where that courage had come from. KangTa had joined the brawl because the girl was his sister. The two had become heroes after the episode and had been friends ever since. They had gone to high school together, but KangTa had left the country when he went to college. Of course, they had kept in touch, but for the next four years, they had gone their own ways.
Tony laughed as he remembered when BoMi, his best friend and partner to all the social events at the university had announced that she had a boyfriend. Tony had begged to meet him and imagine his shock when he found himself face to face with no other than KangTa! It was a remarkable coincidence, or…maybe, it was destiny, as BoMi had said. Well, whatever it was, Tony was glad it had happened.
A whirling in the machine startled him out of his daydream and Tony hurried to catch the pictures. He flipped through them smiling tolerantly at the blithe couple so clearly in love. The ring flashed in his mind for an instant and Tony smiled involuntarily. Wedding bells seemed to toll in the dark.
Tony stifled a sigh as he set the receiver down in the cradle.
"Where in the world is KangTa?" He wondered aloud.
It was already 4 days since the KangTa had asked for the film…and he hadn’t showed up the evening that he said he would. Tony had tried to reach him everyday after that, but with no luck. He fingered the package containing the photos. It wasn’t like KangTa to break his word. What could have happened?
Tony tapped his chin thoughtfully. Pursing his lips together, he picked up the receiver again and hurriedly punched in a number. The phone rang 5 times until a female voice answered.
"Hello?" It said.
"BoMi, is that you?" Tony asked with a smile.
"…Tony?"
"Yeah."
"Hey. What’s up."
Tony frowned, noting that BoMi sounded somewhat tired. He’d better remember and bring it to KangTa’s attention. "Uh…Well, I was calling KangTa and I guess I keep missing him. So I just called you. See, he asked me to produce the pictures you guys took last week and they’re done. Can you come pick them up?" Tony explained briefly.
A silence passed through the line and Tony raised his eyebrows. "BoMi? You there?" He called loudly.
A slight sniff was the only response. Tony straightened up, his eyes wide in alarm. "BoMi? Is something wrong? Are you?quot; He trailed off, uncertainly.
"You can…just throw them away. We…won’t need them anymore. I’ll…I’ll pay whatever cost there is. Sorry, Tony." BoMi’s voice trembled audibly.
Something in the tone made Tony catch his breath. Licking his lips nervously he furrowed his brow. "What…What are you talking about?" He asked, apprehensively.
The silence that filled the air seemed longer this time. Tony listened to the delicate tick-tock of the wall clock behind him. The pauses between the clicks seemed longer somehow, the stillness dragging its feet sluggishly through the moment. When BoMi finally spoke, her voice was weak in surrender. "He…broke up with me." She blurted out, feebly.
Tony’s mouth fell open in shock. "He…what?" He gasped in total amazement. KangTa broke up with…BoMi? "What do you mean!!" He demanded.
Tony’s hand clutched his hair in frustration. Only 4 days ago, KangTa had announced that he would propose to BoMi. Tony had seen the engagement ring with his own two eyes! Wait wait. Tony tried to collect his wits. He sank into the chair at his desk.
"We…we had a date last Saturday…I?quot; BoMi’s voice broke and a sob escaped her throat. She stopped, letting out a shivery sigh.
Tony searched his memory. Saturday was the day that KangTa had come to the shop. He had been so sure in front of him. The ring and the eyes and?
"He…he said he would…he would call…before…because…he might be late. But…but he didn’t call…and…I guessed he would be there…and…so I went ahead to…to the restaurant?quot; BoMi spoke faster and faster as if talking in a dream. Or a nightmare. "He…he didn’t show up…I waited 6 hours…I…I kept calling him, but he wasn’t home…and I was so mad. Tony, KangTa has never ever broken a promise with me…you know that! And..and…he never stood me up! I called him the next day and I…I guess I freaked. I asked, no I demanded why he didn’t come…and I blew up at him. But Tony! Do you know what he said??" BoMi’s voice rose involuntarily to a high pitched screech. "He…he said he forgot! He said that…he said he was sorry, but he had been so busy that he just forgot about me! KangTa…my KangTa…the one who had said he loved me…he said…he said…he thought…he wasn’t sure anymore. I didn’t understand…I thought he was joking…but he said…he said he wanted to rethink our relationship. I…I don’t know…what’s wrong. I don’t know…but…he broke up with me." BoMi’s voice dwindled down to a hoarse whisper. She stopped speaking and the only sound that sounded through the receiver was the sob of a broken heart.
The hand that gripped the receiver was wet with perspiration. Tony switched the phone to his other ear and wiped his hand on the leg of his jeans. Words of comfort and shock and anger swarmed in his brain, but refused to be spoken. He shook his head in complete disbelief.
"No." He finally said. "BoMi. I know KangTa too well. Something?something must have happened. He…he’s not like that. He wouldn’t?quot; Tony stammered, refusing to accept the story.
"But he did, Tony. He did." BoMi stopped him, abruptly.
Tony stood up firmly. "BoMi, listen to me. KangTa is my best friend and so are you. I swear, KangTa would never ever do anything to hurt anyone. Never!" Tony practically shouted. "I’ll…I’ll go talk to him. There must be something we don’t know!" He spoke firmly, trying to convince himself as well as BoMi.
BoMi’s voice trembled in desperation. "I…I hope you’re right." She whispered, a vague light of hope creeping cautiously back into her accent.
Tony swallowed hard as he raced up the path to KangTa’s apartment. Although it was August, the peak of summer, the sun had already set and dark had taken its control over the city. The leaves shuddered uneasily on the branches as Tony made his way up the deserted street. The lampposts that should have brightened the way must have burned out, for the only light that Tony could see was the dim beam of the moon as it wove in and out between the clouds in the starless sky.
The night air seemed especially cold that day and Tony shivered, pulling his windbreaker closer to his body. It didn’t help much, for the eerie wind sliced mercilessly through the thin material, making goosebumps on his arm. The breeze was strangely cold for the time of year.
Tony took a deep breath as he entered the apartment building. His hand trembled as he reached for the elevator ‘up?button. He wasn’t worried, he told himself, that KangTa would break BoMi’s heart, for he knew KangTa. He was just worried about the reason to why he had attempted to break the heart that he had cherished so. Tony pushed the button for the 7th floor and waited impatiently for the door to close.
The trip to the upper story seemed like a million miles and Tony was sure his heart had gushed out enough blood to save a billion people, it was beating so fast. Over and over in his mind, he repeated the words he would say, almost as if he was memorizing lines to a play. His fists were clenched in determination and when the elevator doors finally opened, Tony’s face was almost fierce.
The steps to the second door to the right were sturdy and confident and by the time he rang the doorbell, Tony was bursting with conviction.
But the minute the door opened, all the lines, all the confidence, all the anger, all the determination crumpled miserably, like a handful of ashes. Tony gawked in disbelief.
The figure who opened the door was not a familiar one. A buxom female with bleached hair traveling down to her bare shoulders smiled crookedly toward the bewildered Tony. She was half dressed, her scanty shirt almost slipping off her shoulders and her outrageous skirt, so short that Tony blushingly floundered for a place to put his eyes. Her eyes were unfixed, the pupils swaying in helpless giddiness.
"KangTa," she slurred, her voice thick and raspy, "I think it’s for you." She laughed, throwing the door open all the way.
That was when Tony saw the slumped form on the couch, the numerous bottles of beer on the treasured glass coffee table, the heavy aroma of perfume and drunkenness and the pieces of clothing strewn all over the room.
In appall, Tony opened and then shut his mouth, looking like a gasping fish. KangTa was hunched on the sofa, his arm hanging limply over the armrest. In his hand was a dark bottle and his linen shirt was halfway unbuttoned and torn to shreds. His hair that was usually so neat and orderly stuck up in every which way, tangled and unruly. KangTa’s eyes opened, squinting in the sudden light that penetrated through the open door. The face was hagard and KangTa’s eyes were bloodshot with fatigue. A light of recognition sparked through the eyes as they fell on Tony.
For almost a full minute, KangTa and Tony held one another’s glance, neither speaking a word. Then abruptly, KangTa turned his head, lifting the bottle to his bruised lips. He motioned half-heartedly for the girl to come closer. She obediently did so, seating herself on his lap and cooing on his chest.
Not able to stand another moment, Tony slammed the door and raced down the 7 flights of stairs. Finally outside the apartment building, he slumped to the ground, gasping for breath as he breathed in the cold night air. The moon had made its home for the night behind the clouds so now there was no light at all on the abandoned road. The rustling in the leaves seemed louder and the sound of the crickets was annoyingly sharp. Never had a summer night felt so cold.
The sun had reappeared the next day, but its beams only barely squeezed through the gray sky. The thick, cold fog hung damply over the city, clashing with the umbrellas that filled the streets. It seemed that the autumn had come early this year, darkening the world with its frosty touch. The lucid green leaves that had frolicked in the summer heat just yesterday, had shrunken to half its size and color between the night and dawn. Now they shuddered weakly, as if afraid of the upcoming winter.
Tony looked out into the grave day through the windows of the coffee shop. His eyes searched the crowd, almost expecting to see a flash of brightness to penetrate the sober feel in the sky. He was not wrong to hope, for she had been the figure of light to many people that knew her.
But the figure that entered the shop did not resemble the goddess of light in any way. Her hair was limp and damp, her face ghostly pale and strained. Her eyes were blotchy, telltale of the hours she had spent weeping. In the few days that he hadn’t seen her, she had grown alarmingly thin, practically blending in with the slender trees that dotted the lawn in front of the café. A forced smile of formality flickered on her face as she saw Tony. He rose halfway as she headed over to the table he was seated at.
"Hey." BoMi tried hard to smile at her old friend, but not quite succeeding. Her eyes wavered and she dropped her gaze, bravely fighting the tears that threatened to show themselves. She sank into the hard chair, ignoring the pity that shown in Tony’s look.
"You don’t look too great." Tony commented lightly, calling a waiter to their table.
"What a think to say to a lady!" BoMi tried to laugh, but ended up having to feel satisfied with a croak. She cleared her throat, gratefully snatching the menus. The menu, which was the size of a cookie sheet, covered all of BoMi’s face. The transparent hands clutching the sides of the menu shook visibly.
"BoMi." Tony called cautiously, unable to stand the silence any longer. A heaving sigh sounded as the menu reluctantly lowered and the face that appeared met Tony’s worried eyes with a carelessly bright smile. The transformation happened so instantaneously that Tony was caught off guard. He gaped momentarily, at a loss for words.
"I’ll have a cup of coffee. No cream or sugar, please." BoMi signaled the waitress and quickly folded the card. "What’ll you have, Tony? Your usual?" She asked smilingly.
"Uh…yeah." Tony stuttered. He shrugged, turning to the waitress. "A café du lait, please." He said quickly.
The waitress, nodded and whisked away the menus, leaving the two alone again. The restless quiet settled over the table once more. Tony cleared his throat.
"BoMi?" He called again, more confidently this time.
"Hmm?" BoMi refused to look into his face, carefully inverting her eyes to the swarming people outside the window. The clear line that cut her jaw tightened and flexed alternately.
"I saw KangTa last night." Tony too, turned toward the window. His eyes took in the bustling scene, wishing with all his heart that he didn’t have to speak the words that swam confusingly in his head. But he pressed on, determined to hold onto at least one of his friends. "I went to his house," He sighed, shifting his eyes back to BoMi. Her profile was notably more angled than before. "I wish I hadn’t, though."
BoMi twisted in her chair and stared at Tony. "Why?" The word was strained, as if she had tried to stop it, but couldn’t. Her eyes dropped again.
"BoMi. KangTa was my best friend and I loved him, you know that. I trusted him and I…god, he was my best friend! So believe me, it takes a lot to make me say this." Tony stopped abruptly, he breathed in quickly and swallowed. "Move on, BoMi. Forget him." Tony spoke in a burst of confidence. He looked, then couldn’t look any longer at the pain filled eyes. Her smile, her laugh, the act fluttered to the ground, exposing her shattered heart.
"He’s…he has changed." Tony spoke softer now, gently, hoping to lessen the anguish in anyway for her. "I don’t know why, I don’t know what has happened, but he’s not the KangTa I used to know and respect. He…he isn’t worthy of you. He has changed."
BoMi shook her head. Once more, she tried to smile, her lips quivering in her effort. "There must be something wrong," She grasped onto a false hope, refusing to believe the truth. "He…you know he loved me so. He needs me. And he knows how much I need him. Tony." BoMi turned desperately towards her best friend. "KangTa wouldn’t do anything to hurt me…would he?"
Tony turned his head, unable to meet her frantic eyes. He bit his lip until he could taste his own salty blood.
"KangTa loves me, he does! He promised to make me happy and KangTa would never ever break a promise. You know how he is. He’s probably…probably getting back at me because I used to tease him so much. He’ll be back," Her excited eyes sparkled hysterically. "You’ll see, he’ll come back to me. Because," BoMi’s voice cracked roughly, "He loves me." She finished, shaking her head in denial. Her face was so full of faith that Tony felt his heart being torn into two.
"BoMi!" He burst out, unable to see her hurt. "Stop it! It’s no use denying it. He obviously doesn’t need you anymore and he broke up with you. Face the facts, BoMi! He doesn’t love you any longer!" Tony practically screamed.
An awful silence fell, as if the world was holding its breath. The waitress who had been approaching with their order tactfully backed away, perceiving that this wasn’t the best moment to intrude. BoMi sat stock still, the labored smile still plastered on her face. And finally, helplessly, the tears fell. One after another, the drops trickled down her cheek and then her smile collapsed. The squared shoulders slumped and BoMi covered her face with her hands as she began to sob uncontrollably. Gasping for breath, BoMi reluctantantly gave in, releasing the belief that she had clung onto. Now she shook, completely lost and defeated.
Without a word, Tony slipped out of his chair into the one next to her’s. He put a steady hand on her shoulder, not knowing any words that would comfort her in any way. Instead he lent her his arm as she fell into him, weeping frenzied tears.
The clouds finally loosened their grip on one another, allowing a patch of sunlight shine on the world. The trees rustled noiselessly as they watched two, no three figures walking slowly down the path. Shadows from the towering trees fell over the path, creating a criss-cross pattern on the earth.
"You okay now?" Tony asked in concern. BoMi ignored him and walked briskly to a vacant bench, almost hidden behind a clump of green bushes. Her fingers brushed against the coarse wood, as if trying to catch a glimpse of a memory.
"We met here." She spoke in a loud voice. Tony stopped and watched as BoMi dropped to her knees and gathered the white clover flowers that were speckled around the bench. She began to twist the stems and leaves, concentrating on the flowers as she continued to speak, more to herself than to Tony. "It was a Tuesday, a little over 2 years ago. I…I considered this my private place, I had started coming here since I was a little girl, ever since we moved to this neighborhood, but…but he was sitting here that day. I don’t know why, but I was offended and…and I was rude, but then he turned to me. And…and he was so handsome. I still remember his face, the sunlight surrounding him, almost as if he had a light of his own. He walked me home, I didn’t know why then, but he told me later that he wanted to get to know me, for some reason. And…then…then we started meeting in the most absurd places! The ‘canned goods?aisle at the market, the home appliance store, the ‘R&B?section of the record store, the alley leading to your photoria." BoMi chuckled softly. "And here. At this bench. We had our first serious talk here, our first timid professions, our first kiss, our vows…This is our sacred place. Or at least it used to be." BoMi’s voice trembled slightly. She straightened up, smiling softly into Tony’s sympathetic face. She held out a ring of white flowers, a cluster of blossoms twisted to fit onto a finger. The memory of a glittering ring passed through Tony’s mind. He pressed her hand, comfortingly.
BoMi looked at him, her eyes glittering dangerously. Tony pulled her to his shoulder. "I’m sorry this had to happen," He whispered, "I know how much you loved him."
BoMi broke down then, releasing a fresh batch of tears. She crumbled in the strength of Tony’s arms, weeping softly as she let go of all her memories, one by one. And Tony comforted her, because that was all he was capable of doing. And because that was what she needed.
"Get some sleep, BoMi. Promise me." Tony pleaded at the door of the house. BoMi’s family occupied a fairly large house in the neighborhood. The tidily kept yard and neat flowerbeds were a nice touch to the dusty red bricks that constructed the residence.
"All right." BoMi nodded, smiling at Tony. She unlocked the front door, feeling limp with exhaustion. "You sure you don’t want to come in?" BoMi asked wearily, although she wanted more than ever to be alone.
Tony read her thoughts and laughed. "I’ll be at the shop if you need me. Be brave, little girl." He chided gently, patting her head. BoMi lowered her head, bravely fighting the tears that refused to wear out.
"Thank you." She managed to whisper. "Thanks, Tony." With a sudden movement, she threw her arms around Tony, clinging onto him for a moment longer before she pulled away. BoMi smiled once more, and disappeared in the house without another word.
Tony let out a surpressed sigh and trudged heavily down the walk. His head ached and Tony felt cold despite the flannel lining in his coat. Lifting his head up to the darkening sky, Tony hurriedly started toward his own home. Just as he was leaving the yard, Tony caught sight of a shadow behind the shelter of a tall oak tree. It was KangTa.
"KangTa!" Tony stopped abruptly in his tracks as his voice called out the name.
It seemed for a moment that he would run away, but KangTa stepped hesitantly out of his refuge and walked slowly toward Tony. His face was downcast, so Tony couldn’t read the expression on his face. He halted, so close now to Tony that Tony could almost feel the heat from KangTa’s body.
An awkward silence hung between the two as the grasses swayed nervously in the wind. A gay magpie suddenly lifted its wings, fluttering from the branch of one tree to the next.
"Tony." KangTa finally spoke, his voice cracked and broken, as if it had been long since he had last used it. "I’m…I’m sorry…you had to see me like that last night." He lifted his face momentarily, but dropped it again just as quickly.
Tony turned abruptly, allowing the wind to fly directly into his face. He felt his hair ripple behind him. "Then why did you do it?" He asked in a low voice.
KangTa sighed. "I’m sorry." He said shortly.
Tony looked at KangTa out of the corner of his eyes. "Are you…okay, now?" He asked doubtfully.
KangTa didn’t answer, only examined the delicate pattern in his sweater.
"Did you come…to apologize…to BoMi?" Tony asked again, this time in a voice cautiously regaining hope.
KangTa’s eyes flashed. "No!" The answer that filled the air was almost savage. "No. That’s…over." KangTa repeated, no emotion of any sort hinting in his voice.
Finally Tony couldn’t stand it any longer. "Why!" He demanded. "Why so sudden? You loved her! I know you did, but why the sudden change? God dammit, KangTa! You are my best friend! This isn’t like you!" He shouted, his frustration evident in his strained voice. When KangTa didn’t respond, he pushed on, desperate to get his friend back. "She needs you KangTa. You loved her, too. Please, I don’t know what is wrong, but please…go back to her, KangTa. She’s so lost without you. You’re not yourself and neither is she! Where is your common sense!" Tony pleaded and scolded in turn, wanting to shake KangTa until his teeth chattered. He scented the uneasiness in KangTa’s form and moved in, like a wolf on its prey.
"You must still love her, love isn’t something that is one day and isn’t the next. And…and why else would you be here! At her house! Hiding! You love her, you do, don’t you!" Tony nearly insisted.
KangTa cleared his throat. "No, I don’t." He said shortly.
Tony gaped inaudibly. He stood, unable to move as KangTa pushed by him and ran down the path. "Wait!" He finally called. The sound of his sneakers hitting the pavement stopped suddenly.
"Is…is something wrong?" Tony asked with his back turned to KangTa. He felt KangTa’s touch fall lightly on his arm.
"No." KangTa said, his voice dwindling down to a whisper.
"Then why are you doing this?" Tony asked again, his back tensed in apprehension.
"Because?quot; KangTa’s voice rose slightly, "Because…because she’s no use to me anymore." He said finally. The footsteps grew louder and faster until they couldn’t be heard at all.
The morning breeze was chilly as Tony hurried down the well-known road. The sun seemed to challenge him to a race, pushing itself up over the horizon as quickly as it could. The dewy scent that filled the misty air, moistened the world, making the dawn air crisp and cool that autumn day. Tony reached his shop, his eyes taking in the bright colored sign on the roof. He cringed momentarily, remembering something that had to do with the name of the studio. Tony shook his head as if trying to remove the memory. A swift breeze huffed by him, slightly rustling the papers on the mat at the door. Tony stooped down, collecting the newspaper and the mail in his arms before unlocking the door to the store. He entered the studio, his studio, automatically turning the ‘we’re closed?sign so that now it read ‘we’re open?from the outside. Tossing the envelopes on the counter, Tony headed to the back. Almost like a machine, he set in the filter and plugged in Mr. Coffee, eagerly awaiting the aroma of hot coffee to fill the studio.
He settled down on his chair, opening the morning paper uninterestedly. Tony scanned through the front headlines, wondering vaguely if there was ever going to be any good news in this world. He shrugged, flinging the paper on the table until the time came that he was so bored he had to read it. Tony reached for his coffee, measuring exactly two lumps of sugar and just enough cream so that the color of the drink wouldn’t be so dark and settled down in his chair, picking up his mail. Shuffling through the few envelopes, he randomly read the return addresses; ‘Mr. & Mrs. An.? that was his parents, probably with a belated birthday card and a check to make up for it, ‘The First National Bank of Korea? ugh…bills…Tony groaned inwardly. ‘Fitness Footwear? an advertisement, Tony threw it in the trash without opening the envelope. There was an assortment of cards, from various people he remembered from the many wedding shoots he had gone to recently. And there was an envelope marked with the logo for the Catholic Hospital of Seoul. Shrugging carelessly, Tony slipped it to the very back of the pile.
Sipping his coffee, Tony began to rip open the envelopes, happily noting that his parents?check would cover his bills for the month, and then some. With an amused smile, he glanced through the thank you cards, bored, but happy as he read the repetitious ‘We loved the pictures?written in several handwritings. He wondered how many of these people remembered who he was in the first place. Finally, he was left with the white envelope from the Catholic Hospital. Wondering if he was due for a check-up, Tony tore open the envelope.
"Rrrinng! Rring!" Tony stretched for the phone, while hastily slipping the paper out of the pouch. He unfolded the stamped stationery.
‘Dear Tony,?It started.
"Hello? Tony?" BoMi’s voice sounded through the line.
"Yeah, it’s me. How are you feeling?" Tony asked.
‘It’s me, KangTa.?The letter went on. Tony felt a queer shiver run up and down his spine.
"Better," BoMi answered. "Not good, but I’m getting better."
"That’s good," Tony said absently. He swallowed as he forced himself to read on.
"You know what Tony? I think you’re right. I do need to move on. I don’t need the bastard anymore." BoMi was saying.
‘Do you remember, Tony? How I used to say that being good was easy for me? That I never had trouble following right and ignoring wrong? I never did. Not until now.?
What in the world is he talking about? Tony wondered to himself.
‘These last few days have been the hardest in my life. I couldn’t omit that selfish urging in my heart for her. Even though I knew I had to. Tony, it was so hard, I didn’t think I could do it. But, I’ve succeeded, finally. And by the time you read this letter, I’ll be on my way, willingly following the right road…the road that will make me good forever.?
Tony swallowed hard, hoping against hope that he wasn’t reading what was stated in front of him in black and white.
‘They’re to spread my ashes near our bench, you know the one, so that I’ll be able to see her once in a while. That’s all I ask, because I’m not unhappy, only sorry that the days allowed to me weren’t a bit longer. I’ve had so much the time I was here, it would pure selfishness to wish for more. I’ve had you, Tony, the best friend a guy could ask for, and I’ve had her. Oh god, if only I didn’t have to leave her. You understand now, why I had to act like I did. Don’t tell her now that I’m gone, it’s better that way. It’ll be easier for her to move on, I’m sure of that. Just be there for her, for me, please Tony.?#060;/P>
"I still can’t believe he left me like that! Dammit, I used to trust the guy with my heart! But I’m okay now. I’m going to erase him from my mind and move on, just like you said." BoMi spoke loudly, or at least it sounded loud in Tony’s ears. He felt his head pound in his numbness.
‘If you see her and if she asks about me, just tell her I’m doing okay. I should be looking after her, but I’m no longer in the same world. I’ll leave her in your care, I know I can trust you. Goodbye Tony.?The letter ended abruptly, as if the pen had been snatched away suddenly. Or it had been dropped. Tony gasped for breath, trying to understand, trying to grasp onto a meaning.
"If it hadn’t been for you, I’d still be depressed. For the first few days, I even thought of suicide. I can’t believe I was so stupid. Anyway, thanks for your support, Tony. I know now who I can count on. You won’t leave me, too?" BoMi was still speaking, oblivious of Tony’s silence until that moment. "Tony? Tony? You there?" She called.
Tony opened and shut his mouth, trying to impel words out of his parched lips. "Yeah." He finally croaked. Tears threatened to fall from his wide-opened eyes, but they didn’t. Something prevented them from falling, although he didn’t know what.
"Have?quot; Something in Tony’s voice made BoMi become very quiet. "Have…you heard from him?" She asked, almost daringly. Her own voice shook, the confidence and firmness of the proceeding speech disappearing as she betrayed her true feelings to Tony.
He felt his teeth chatter although the coffee mug he still held in one hand was yet warm.
"Yes," He answered against his will, unable to tell a lie, for that was wrong and he had to do right.
Neither spoke for what seemed like eternity, until the silence became so loud that Tony almost screamed, willing to do anything to break the terrible calmness. But before he could move, she spoke.
"Is…is?quot; BoMi took a deep breath, tears slipping off her chin. "Is he doing okay?" She asked tremulously.
Tony hesitated momentarily, breathing slowly into the receiver. The hand that clenched the mug almost ground into the porcelain, the warmth of the liquid inside burning his fingers. He lingered, not knowing how to answer. Tony’s eyes darted from the wall to the sheet of paper he held in his hand. The frail black letters that covered the simple piece of white paper seemed larger than before. And finally the tears fell. Hot tears of anger and sorrow, mingled with those of gratefulness and love showered down his cheeks, over his open mouth and chin. Tony smiled then, his lips quivering only slightly.
"Yes," He whispered. "He’s doing just fine."
