sometimes
12/23/01

but most of all
i miss you now
when people ask
what happened
with you
and
whats-his-name
i just tell them
i don't know
when my mind
is screaming
damnit i miss him
why won't he just call
meanwhile my pride
yells at me with fear
and anguish
and DISGUST
at the weakness
i possess
and the inabilities
i have
when it comes to
you
and then
i become sober
only to get drunk
once again
not for the joy
not for the nameless hookup
that i ALWAYS regret the next day
shit
the next year
but for the thought of you
that only has the gut
to appear
when i am drunk enough
to handle it
and caress its very presence
and damn you _ _
for leaving me with
such sorrow
more than a girl
can handle
more than a girl
should have to
damn you _ _
for caring back
i could see it in your eyes
you didn't have to say it
just as i said it not
and you knew
you bastard
you knew
so damn you
as you
get drunk on your own
or with your friends
i hope they go through
the same shit as mine
i wonder if you ever think
of me
as i continuously, aimlessly, inANELy think
of you
i see lovers in the street
and think of you
people on tv fall in love
i think of you
my friends fall in love
i think of you
i kiss another man
i think of you
and damnit all if sometimes
sometimes
it takes nothing at all
but i still think of you
and can't help
but love you all over again.

Adrienne Helms
aehelms@edisto.cofc.edu

hOME