January 14/1999

Finger Nails are becoming BIG BUSINESS - right up there with Plastic Surgery! Finger Nails are alot cheaper though. For less than 50 bucks you can have a set of "implants" with square tops that are designed for the working woman! Well in case you notice extra typos in this entry, please be kind as I'm working with my square tops while trying to figure out which part of the design, allows for work? My husband had to button my jeans this morning as my nails got in the way, and hooking in the car seat belt was another horror. For a person who is normally independent of spirit, this experience became rather humiliating.

I adorn my square tops with great pride though and I've notixced the past few days I've been waving my hands around alot more when I"m communicating. I must admit I'm becoming rather expressive with my hand gestures. I didn't spend 50 bucks for this mode of communication though, I spent less than 2 bucks for my square tops and gluewd them on and painted them myself. Mind you, I don't have an artist's interpretation on my fingers. I don't have a princess with snow covered mountains in the background...I settled for beige with dark tips. Who actually wants to go around with a landscape sssticking out of the tops of their fingers? IIIIs that natural?

Natural? Who really cares about nature when it comes to fingernails you ask? Seems like alot of people do! Every second street I turn up I see a Hair Cutting place, SunTanning store, and then right next to that is a NAIL PARLOUR. I've heard that finger nail painting is an art...a sense of self expression. That's beautiful but I guess it kkind of reminds m;e of push up bras and high heels. Makes a woman look more feminine alright but it sure is uncomfortable!

I was in an office the other day getting some more of my paperwork straightened away when I noticed a lady who had the longest nails I've ever seen! These curled like those of the man's in the guiness book of World Records. I estimated that they were actually about 2 feet long. I tried not to stare, kind of like the way a man tries not to stare at a 42DD woman in a low cut, bending over in front of him, but I just couldn't help myyy self..."are they um...NATURAL?" I blurted out when she caught me staring..."YES" she snapped. I guess she's sick of answering that. They were shimmering gold with bright red designs too! They looked like they made her disableed in the way she moved yher hands but th crunch came when I actually sAw her type!!! That took skill...Here I am struggling with my 2.5 inchers...and she was mastering her routine, with 2.5feeters! I left the office kind of feeling like a small dicked man! Scary (shudder.......).

Anyway, I'm the kind of woman who strips off her socks and bra at the end of the day and ties her hair in a loose bun. Now I'm here atttempting to type something on this keyboard wishing these square tops would fall the heck off. I guess I'll have to bathe in a sea of nail remover tonight and hope it softens the buggers enough to want to fall off "oh naturelle" or I'll be forced to bend the buggers back until they crack, not a pretty nor painless picture I don't imagine! 2 bucks for the suckers but now a fortune in chemicals to remove them! Don't do it!! Listen to me, it's dam uncomfortable!...Think I'd rather get my bellybutton pierced...ahh but that's another story.

eghad.....WHINE!!!!!!

TaMarah May