October 12/1998

Well I feel like singing praises tonight...since I turned the dirty thirty (many moons ago but you'll never know just HOW many) I discovered a wonderful thing. YOUNGER MEN! From the barely 20 to the mid - twenty man...I have been blessed with a new insight into dating and male companionship. I had all but given up on finding love and honey until I met a younger boytoy who convinced me that he had a thing or two to teach ME...and HE was right. Now don't get me wrong, it's not all about sex, really it isn't. I must admit though that from my limited experience, I find younger men tops in this area too. :) It's just so much more interesting being around a younger man. They're more sensous, sensitive and seem much more open to talking which is for women, an essential part to any intimate relationship.

Of course it's not keen to generalize and I'm not saying that all junior men are romeos in waiting, certainly not - and I've met my share of younger male walking dildos. It is simply a much wiser decision for a woman thirtish or so to get involved with a younger guy, rather than a guy who is now set in his ways or has the baggage of 1 or 2 failed marriages and a truckload of responsibilities...mostly of the child variety. Many men over thirty also seem so much like a robot that a date with one would be about as exciting in my mind, as the classic "watching the paint dry."

Of course I know that my mid twenty fiance will turn 30 soon enough but there is still alot of growing and changing for him to do and if I marry him soon, which I plan to, there is an added advantage of him growing along with me in my lifestyle and experience which can bring him closer to the type of individual I wish to share the rest of my life with. Don't get me wrong. I am not entering my marriage wanting to change him...I've seen Oprah enough to know that is a no no...I'm merely entering it with an awareness that change is inevitable and am in a much better position of a younger man growing to my tastes rather than me trying to fit into an older man's concept of dutiful wife. I'd rather be the "wife" of a boytoy anyday....the benefits far outweigh the negatives. :))

I've done a fair amount of my own experiencing and life changing and I do really feel ready to tie the not. I would never consider marrying an older man or even a man my own age. I would be far too bored. Let's face it, men and women are different, and to me spending time with the oppositie sex for long periods of time bores me to tears. That doesnt' mean I want to spend more time with women, it simply means, If I'm going to spend my time with men at all, I might as well have the most interesting variety. :)) There is nothing better than being in a relationship with someone who has a fresh attitude, untarnished by pain and time. Someone .....who has experienced enough in life to be able to know what he wants, but someone who has not experienced so much of it that he has nothing left to experience. I never thought I'd be so excited about marrying someone, but I am. I'm actually having fun and enjoying my relationship and working out the rough spots and you can imagine there are some..me having been more or less single for over 10 years! You can just imagine WHO is really stuck in her ways. Hey but that's his problem....hahahaha wish us luck...we need it...but not more than anyone else who does this silly marriage thing...Sure the odds at marriage aren't great these days, but the illusive "they" say, without it, many single people die at an earlier age. Perhaps having a soul mate or partner provides some added stimulation to an existance. That's what I'm wishing for and I'm sure I won't be disappointed! It's kind of nice not worrying about slapping the make on the next hunk you bump into or worrying about having the make slapped back at ya...(ok so I dream alot!) Nevertheless it's nice to be settling down into a stable relationship with my own personal hunk who is devoted to me and I to him. It's a feeling I've often warmly thought about but didn't really believe it could exist. It does. I'm going in now to cuddle into my hunk. Night Night

TaMarah